"I never learned the art of packing light."

"Well, let's get it all up to your apartment."

"Mama…" Maddy stopped her when she reached for the door handle. "I'm not sure this is wise-"

"Now, Madeline, you're not thinking of running scared, are you? The girl I knew had more spunk than that."

"The girl you knew has learned a lot in the last few years. Like, it's not always wise to rush straight

I ahead, ignoring all the warning signs. Reckless actions can lead to head-on collisions."

"Is that how you see what happened between you and Joe? A car wreck?"

"What would you call it?"

"Fate." She nodded and opened the door. "Now come on, let's get your things."

"I got it." Afraid the woman would try to carry the suitcases herself, Maddy wrestled the biggest one out of the backseat. She could always carry it back down, she assured herself as she followed Mama up a staircase along the outside of the building. "You know," she said, grunting as she heaved the luggage up another step, "fate isn't always a good thing."

"It isn't always a bad thing either." Mama pulled herself along, using the handrail. "Oh, I admit, at the time I was plenty miffed at you for breaking my boy's heart, but I think it happened the way God intended. You two may have been perfect for each other, but you both had some growing up to do. So God yanked you apart for a bit. Now he's brought you back together." Reaching a small landing, Mama stopped to take a set of keys from the pocket of her leisure pants.

"Actually, you brought us back together." Maddy worked to catch her breath, feeling lightheaded from the altitude. "You realize Joe is extremely angry with you right now."

"He'll get over it." Mama opened the door and stepped inside.

"From what I just witnessed, he's not a man who forgives and forgets too easily." Maddy dragged her suitcase over the threshold, ready to argue fur-ther, but the apartment distracted her. The dim light from a single-bulb fixture revealed a tiny, one-room efficiency with a partial wall dividing the kitchen and dining area from the sleeping area. The stale scent of disuse hung in the air.

She nearly laughed, thinking she'd certainly come a long way from her upscale house in the hills of West Austin. But the simple truth was that after growing up in a barely middle-class neighborhood, she'd been a little uncomfortable in Nigel's circle. Not that he'd been mega wealthy, just several rungs up the ladder from a family living on a cop's salary.

Here, though-here was a nice small space she could make her own. A place to escape, paint, and start life anew.

Mama sighed. "Our last A and C coordinator had the place decorated up so cute. It looks downright spartan now."

"It's fine," Maddy assured her as she pictured the possibilities. A pretty tablecloth to cover the wooden spool that sat between two folding chairs. A comforter and sham for the single mattress on the metal frame. And for the tired old armchair sitting in the dark, dusty corner, a slipcover and a reading lamp.

"The good news is"-Mama moved toward a wall of curtains-"around here, we do most of our living outside." With the pull of a cord, she opened the drapes to reveal a wide sliding glass door. Sunlight poured in, transforming the cramped space into something bright and wonderful.

Maddy abandoned her suitcase and followed Mama out onto a huge balcony with a full set of grapevine furniture. An array of clay pots held the remnants of plants that hadn't survived the winter, but Maddy could easily picture this outdoor living room teeming with greenery and cheerful Sowers.

She moved to the short wall and gaped at the view, which was even more spectacular from this vantage. Then her gaze fell to the office, and her enthusiasm plunged. "Mama, why didn't you tell him I was coming?"

"Because he would have insisted I take back the job offer. Now you're here and it's too late."

"And you laid a great big guilt trip on him to make him let me stay."

"Yes, I thought that was nicely done." Her eyes twinkled.

Normally, Maddy would have shared Mama's humor. Now she could only sigh with regret. "Maybe it would be best if I did leave."

"Is that what you want to do? Leave without a fight?"

"To be honest, my mind is going in so many directions, I don't know what I want."

"Then I'd say you have some thinking to do. At least stick around until you know what you want."

Know what you want. The words from Jane's book echoed in Maddy's head, stirring all the old longings that had once been so much a part of her. Longings she'd lost along the way. To be an artist. Not just the competent one she was now, creating pleasant oil paintings, but to somehow find the key to unlock the potential she knew was inside her.

Facing the view, she yearned to unpack her paints and set up her easel right here, with a hundred images waiting to be captured in every direction.

"Well, I'll leave you to get settled," Mama said, moving back toward the sliding glass door. "You're free until the staff meeting."

"Staff meeting?" Maddy pulled herself out of her thoughts as she remembered what Joe had told the other coordinators. "Oh. Yes. Four o'clock." Biting her lip, she looked down at the office.

"Now don't look so worried. Joe has all afternoon to calm down and he's hardly going to make a scene in front of the girls."

"I wouldn't count on that," she called to Mama's retreating back. When the woman's laugh drifted back to her, she felt another old longing well inside-why couldn't she have a mother like Mama? Someone with grit?

When she was alone, she glanced at her watch. She had three hours until the meeting. Plenty of time to check in with Amy and Christine to let them know she'd arrived safely.

Back inside, she wrestled her suitcase onto the mattress, snarled at her copy of How to Have a Perfect Life, rummaged past several pairs of sandals, and dug out her sturdy little laptop. Seconds later, she was plugged into the phone jack next to the big ugly chair.

Opening her e-mail, she scanned new messages from her friends. Over the years they'd kept their e-mail conversations going until it was now as much a part of their daily lives as waking up in the morning. This time of day during the week, Amy would be sitting at her desk and generally responded within seconds. Christine wouldn't respond until she woke up to get ready for the graveyard shift at the ER.

When she finished reading, Maddy started a new thread.


Subject: Well, I made it.

Message: And can I just say, I want to shoot Jane Redding for writing that book? "Leave your past behind." What a crock!

Amy: Uh-oh. I take it your first meeting with Joe didn't go well.

Maddy: You might say that. Which proves Jane was wrong. The past never goes away. It's like the clothing mistakes in the back of your closet. You can forget about them for long stretches, but the minute you dig past your current clothes, there they are, right where you left them, some of them even uglier than you remembered. They haven't magically vanished, or gotten pretty while you weren't looking.

Amy: I don't think Jane meant we should or could forget it. I think she meant we have to accept it and move on, without letting where you've been control where you're going.

Maddy: Ugh! Christine, why aren't you online? I need a bitching buddy, not maturity. Although, Amy, you're right. I'm sure when I'm feeling calmer, I'll agree. Right now, though, I'd rather shoot Jane. Or Joe. Yeah, actually, I could really get into shooting Joe.

Chapter 4

Maddy looked up from the notes she'd been reviewing for the staff meeting and realized it was two minutes past four o'clock. Yikes! Where had the time gone? After her e-mail exchange with Amy, she'd jumped into airing out the apartment and unpacking her clothes. Once she'd made some headway into stamping the place as her own, she'd pulled out all the material Mama had sent her when she'd agreed to take the job. In her determination to be well prepared, she'd lost all track of time.

Arriving late was not the way to show Joe what a mature, responsible adult she was.

Stuffing her notes into her big purse, she raced out the door and toward the wooded trail she assumed led to the main part of the camp. Her flat sandals slipped on the damp earth, making her wish she'd taken an extra minute to put on sensible footwear. Especially since she'd gone on a shopping spree before leaving Austin to buy some shoes that could actually be termed "sensible."

The trail gave way to a sun-drenched field, with the office to her far left. She increased her pace to a light run, forgetting about the thin mountain air. By the time she passed a log cabin with a sign proclaiming it the chief's lodge, her head was spinning.

She made out several people gathered on the covered area behind the office and prayed Joe wasn't among them yet. With a last spurt of energy, she leapt onto the patio. "Sorry I'm late." She sucked in a breath. "I got… caught up… unpacking."

Several heads turned her way, but with the sun-spots in her eyes, all she could make out was silhouettes standing or sitting around a picnic table-all of them too small to be Joe, thank goodness.

"Actually, you're fine." Mama's voice came from one of the seated silhouettes. "We haven't started yet."

"Yeah, we're waiting for God to join us," a younger voice said.

"God?" Maddy's eyes adjusted enough to recognize the three girls she'd seen earlier, and two others she hadn't.

"He also answers to sir!" The blonde who'd driven the sports car snapped a smart salute, making the others laugh.