Cynthia Harrod-Eagles - Anna

Anne tried to explain the situation, and Rose’s lip began to tremble.

‘I want Zho-Zho!’ she cried ominously.

‘Darling, he’s gone away, back to his friends. He can’t stay with us any more.’

‘When’s he coming back?’

‘He isn’t coming back, poppet. He’s going to live with his own people from now on, in France.’

Rose’s eyes filled with tears, and the tears overflowed. She had lost Mademoiselle and Nyanya and Papa and the ginger kitten, and had clung through all of it to Zho-Zho, who had taken her to a safe place where they gave her a new kitten and nice things to eat and a dozen people cuddled her all day long. But if Zho-Zho went, there was no firm foundation to her life: chaos loomed, and the only way she knew to respond to that was to cry, loud and long.

She was still crying when they carried her to the carriage; she cried on and off for the next three hours, and only stopped crying in the end through sheer exhaustion. As they drove at last into Tula, she was asleep on Pauline’s lap, her thumb in her mouth, and the kitten dozing in her arms, her tear-swollen face drawn in lines of weariness and sorrow. Her eyelids flickered now and then as they drove through the streets, and when they pulled up in the sweep in front of the Davidov house she took one quick look, and then turned her face into Pauline’s bosom and closed her eyes, retreating from intolerable reality into sleep.

The butler opened the door as the carriage pulled up, and a footman came out to help put down the step. Nikolai stepped down, and turned back to offer Anne his hand; but before she was out of the carriage, there was the sound of light feet on the gravel, and Shoora came running down the steps and towards them.

Kirov turned to catch her by the forearms as she flung herself at him; at the door of the house, Vsevka had appeared, looking grave, and behind him Kira, wearing black bands for her fiancé who had fallen at Borodino.

‘Nicky! Thank God you’ve come!’ Shoora was crying. Her face was pale and her mouth bowed with tragedy. ‘You got our message then? Oh, what’s to be done? We’ve been worried out of our minds!’

‘Shoora, dearest girl, calm down! What message? I haven’t had any message from you,’ Kirov said.

Shoora’s eyes grew rounder, her mouth made a soundless ‘o’ of shock. ‘Then – then you haven’t – you don’t know about–’

‘What’s happened?’ he asked, gripping her hands firmly; but his heart was cold with apprehension.

‘We sent a letter to you straight away by the military courier, to headquarters. We thought you’d be there, or that they’d know where you were. We didn’t know what to do for the best – but it wasn’t my fault, Nicky, you must believe me! I had no idea what she was going to do!’

‘For God’s sake, Shoora, tell me what’s happened!’

‘It’s Lolya – she’s gone. She’s run away.’

The all was soon told, and it was very little. Lolya had gone out riding, accompanied by her maid; when she did not return for dinner, Shoora had been alarmed, thinking she must have met with an accident, and Vsevka had sent out servants to search the estate.

‘You didn’t miss her until dinner time?’ Nikolai said incredulously.

‘It was nothing unusual. You know how she loves to ride. She was often out all day without noticing the time,’ Shoora protested. ‘She used to wear out that maid of hers, but of course I wouldn’t let her ride completely alone, in case of accidents.’

‘You should have sent a groom with her,’ he said hotly. ‘A girl of her age, to be allowed to jaunt all over the country with nothing but a silly chit of a maid–’

‘That’s not fair, Nicky. Lolya’s not a child – she’s eighteen, and quite capable of knowing what she must and mustn’t do. Of course if she had gone outside of our own estate, I should have insisted she had a groom with her, but in our grounds I didn’t think there was any need.’

He bit back his next angry words. ‘I’m sorry. You’re right, of course. Go on.’

‘Well, we searched and searched, thinking she must have had a fall. It never occurred to us that she’d run away – well, who would think of such a thing?’

I would, Anne thought, but she said nothing yet. A suspicion was forming in her mind which she didn’t want to admit.

‘And then we found the letter she left,’ Shoora went on. ‘One of-the maids went up to turn the beds down, and there was the envelope addressed to Vsevka and me, pinned to the pillow.’

‘Have you got it there? Let me see.’

Shoora took it from her pocket and handed it over. ‘And then we found that she had taken a cloak-bag with various things – her toothbrush and hairbrushes and nightgown and so on, and her jewellery, and the miniature of her mother, and the cachoux-box you brought her from Paris…’

Nikolai read the letter, and handed it to Anne. ‘What the devil does this mean? Have you any idea, Anna?’

Anne scanned the scrawled lines.

Dear Aunt and Uncle, I’m sorry to leave like this without saying goodbye, but you’d be sure to try to stop me, and I can’t allow that. Please don’t worry about me, for I shall be quite safe. I shan’t be coming back, ever, but I will write to you when I am settled and tell you all about it. Thank you for all your kindness to me. Please tell Papa 1 shall write to him, too, and that he mustn’t be angry with me, for I can’t be happy here any more. My best love to you all – your Lolya.

Oh Lolya, Anne thought, you silly, romantic child! She turned to Shoora. ‘Tell me,’ she said, ‘has Lolya had any letters while she’s been here?’

‘Yes, several, from her friend Varsha in Kaluga – you know, she used to be Varvara Salkina until she married the eldest Surin boy in the summer. She wrote to Lolya every week. Why do you ask?’

‘Did she receive a letter on the day she disappeared?’

‘I don’t remember. Wait – yes, the evening before, I think.’

‘And her decision to go riding was quite sudden?’

‘She announced it as she was going up to bed,’ Vsevka put in drily. ‘She said she was tired and went early, but at the door she said she’d like to go out riding the next day. I thought at the time it was an odd thing to think of, if she was tired, but you know what girls are like.’

Nikolai caught Anne’s arm and turned her towards him, his fingers biting into her flesh. ‘What do you know, Anna? Do you know where she is?’

‘I don’t know, but I can guess. She’s in love with Colonel Duvierge of the French Embassy – or thinks she is. He will have been with Bonaparte in Moscow these last few weeks. My guess is that he’s been writing to her, and that the last letter she got was to tell her the French were leaving, and going back to France.’ She took a breath. ‘I think she’s gone to join him.’

‘But the letters came from Kaluga,’ Shoora said.

‘Obviously she told him to write care of her friend, so that your suspicions wouldn’t be aroused.’

‘What reason have you for thinking this?’ Nikolai asked sharply.

‘She’s been writing to him ever since she left Petersburg. She believes he’s really on our side, and hates Napoleon – she thinks he only wants peace for the world. Now I suppose she thinks he’s going away and she’ll never see him again, so she’s gone off to join him.’

‘That would be just the sort of hare-brained thing she’d think of,’ Vsevka said. ‘But Duvierge? I find it hard to believe she’d fall in love with a Frenchman.’

Nikolai was unconvinced. ‘I don’t believe it. You’ve no evidence for all this whatsoever.’

‘Where else could she have gone?’ Anne said. ‘She says she’s never coming back.’ His fingers were hurting her arm, and she sighed and touched them. ‘But she couldn’t have done it without help,’ she said.

‘That maid of hers was completely under her thumb,’ Shoora said.

Vsevka shook his head grimly. ‘I think there’s someone else who might know something about it. Shall we ask Kira?’

Kira had been hovering in the background all this time. She had edged towards the door at the beginning of the conversation, but couldn’t quite bring herself to miss what was being said. Now they all turned towards her, and she was trapped. She shrank back a little, and then lifted her pale face defiantly.

Nikolai released Anne’s arm and bore down on her. ‘Kira, what do you know about this? Is it as Anna says?’ Kira didn’t answer immediately, and he took her shoulders and shook her violently, startling her. ‘Tell me what you know! This is serious, you silly chit!’

‘Yes! Yes, she’s run away to join Andre!’ she cried out, and then burst into tears.

Nikolai removed his hands and turned away, looking so white that Anne thought he was going to be sick. She moved closer to him. Vsevka looked at his daughter incredulously.

‘If you knew about it, why didn’t you tell us? For God’s sake, Kira, why did you let her do such a crazy thing?’

‘It isn’t crazy,’ she sobbed. ‘Lolya loves him, and he loves her.’

‘Nonsense! He doesn’t care a jot for her. He was just trying to get information out of her,’ Anne said.

Kira turned a tearful, stricken face from one to the other. ‘She knew you wouldn’t understand. That’s why she made me promise not to tell. I helped her, and I was glad to! You don’t know, any of you, what it’s like to be in love! My Felix is dead! Lolya wanted to have her chance of happiness, but you’d have tried to stop her.’

Her sobs overcame her, and Shoora went automatically to put her arms round her and comfort her. Vsevka looked at his brother-in-law.