“You’re not drunk. Those drinks were mainly ice, and you spilled every time you poured. If you want to walk away from me, just come out and say so.”

His lips tightened. The drunken swagger faded, and his speech rang clear as a bell. “All right. I want to walk away.”

She gritted her teeth. “You have no idea what you want.”

“Who says?”

“I do. And right now I seem to be the only one of us even remotely in touch with our feelings.”

“Did you open your eyes in there?” He jabbed his hand toward the doorway, and his words shot out like bullets. “That’s my real life. This time in Italy has been a vacation. Don’t you get it?”

“That’s not your real life. It might have been at one time, but not now. Not for a while. That’s what you want me to believe is your real life.”

“I live in freakin’ L.A.! Women tuck their panties in my pockets when I go to clubs. I have too much money. I’m shallow and egotistical. I’d sell my fucking grandmother for a Vanity Fair cover.”

“You also have a potty mouth. But nobody’s perfect. I can be starchy.”

“Starchy?” He looked like he was going to erupt. He took a step toward her, gritting his teeth. “You listen to me, Isabel. You think you know everything. Well, try this on for size. Suppose what you’re saying is true? Suppose I invited them here-went through all this-just to show you it’s over. Don’t you get it? The bottom line stays exactly the same. I’m trying to get rid of you.”

“Obviously.” She couldn’t quite keep the quiver out of her voice. “The question is, why put yourself through all this to do it?Why not just give me a ‘hasta la vista, baby’? You know what I think? I think you’re scared. Well, so am I. Do you think I’m comfortable with this relationship?”

“How the hell should I know what you think? I don’t understand anything about you. But I do know this: When you put a saint and a sinner together, you’re asking for trouble.”

“A saint?” She couldn’t take it anymore. “Is that really what you think I am? A saint?”

“Compared to me, you sure as hell are. You’re a woman who needs to have all her ducks in a row. You don’t even like having your hair messed up. Look at me. I’m chaos! Everything about my life is insane. And I like it that way.”

“You’re not that bad.”

“Well, I’m no walk in the park, sister.”

She hugged herself. “We care about each other, Ren. You can try all you want to deny it, but we really care.” Her feelings weren’t shameful, and she wouldn’t treat them as if they were. Still, she had to take a deep breath before she could go on. “I more than care. I’ve fallen in love with you. And I’m definitely not happy about it.”

He didn’t bat so much as an eyelash. “Come on, Isabel, you’re smart enough to know what’s going on. It’s not really love. You’re a woman who has ‘savior’ plastered all over you. You see me as a big rescue project.”

“Is that so? Well, what exactly am I supposed to rescue? You’re talented and competent. You’re one of the most intelligent men I’ve ever known. Despite that little soap opera you wanted me to believe, you’re not a womanizer, you don’t do drugs, and I’ve never seen you drunk. You’re great with children in your own bizarre way. You have steady employment and the respect of your peers. Even your ex-wife likes you. Other than a weakness for nicotine and a foul mouth, I don’t get what’s so terrible about you.”

“You wouldn’t. You’re so blind to people’s faults it’s a wonder you’re still allowed outside without a leash.”

“The fact is, you’re afraid of what’s happening between us, but instead of trying to work through it, you decided to behave like an idiot. And as soon as you get inside, you’d better scrub your mouth and brush your teeth to get rid of that woman’s germs. You also need to apologize to her. She’s a very unhappy woman, and it wasn’t right to use her the way you were.”

He shut his eyes and spoke in a whisper: “God, Isabel…”

The moon slithered from under a cloud, casting angular shadows over his face. He looked tortured and somehow defeated. “The scene in there. It isn’t all that much of an exaggeration.”

She resisted the urge to touch him. She couldn’t solve this for him. He had to work it through, either his own way or not at all. “I’m sorry. I know how sick you are of living like that.”

He made a soft, almost inaudible sound and pulled her hard against him, but she barely felt the heat of his body before he released her.

“I have to go to Rome tomorrow,” he said.

“Rome?”

“Howard Jenks is there now finalizing locations.” He patted his hip, searching for a missing cigarette pack. “Oliver Craig is flying in-the Brit who’s playing Nathan-and Jenks wants us to read together. We’ve got costume fittings, some makeup tests. I promised to do a couple of interviews. I’ll be back in time for the feast.”

The feast was a week away. “I’m sure Anna will appreciate that.”

“In there”-he tilted his head toward the house-“you didn’t deserve that. I just… You needed to understand, that’s all. I’m sorry.”

And so was she. More than he could imagine.

22

Tracy’s eyes filled with hormone-driven tears. “Have I said thank you for giving Harry back to me?” “Several times.”

“If it hadn’t been for you…”

“The two of you would have worked it out. All I did was speed up the process.”

She wiped her eyes. “I don’t know. Until you came along, we weren’t having a lot of luck. Connor, keep the ball away from the flowers.”

Connor looked up from the soccer ball he was rolling around in the tiny garden behind the Briggs house in Casalleone and grinned at them. One side of the yard sloped toward a row of houses on the street beneath, the other toward a section of the old Roman wall that used to surround the town.

“Ren left for Rome today,” Isabel said, the hollow place inside her aching. “He wants to get rid of me.”

Tracy set aside the ratty pink child’s denim jacket she’d been mending. “Tell me what’s happening.”

Isabel filled her in on last night’s party. When she was finished, she said, “I haven’t seen him since. Anna told me that he and Larry drove off around noon.”

“What about the L.A. parasites?”

“They left for Venice. Pamela’s nice.”

“If you say so.” Tracy rubbed her abdomen. “He has a pattern of taking the easy way out, which is why he married me. The only place he tolerates emotional messiness is on the screen.”

“It doesn’t get much more emotionally messy than being involved with me.” Isabel attempted a smile, but it wouldn’t quite take shape.

“Not true.”

“You’re just saying that to be nice. He thinks I’m judging him, which I am, but only about his work. I tried not to show it, because I know it’s not fair, especially since I have so many of my own flaws to deal with. The only reason I challenge him is that I care so much about him. Most of the time he comes out so high on my private rating scale that it shocks me.”

“Are you sure lust hasn’t clouded your judgment?”

“You’ve known him for so long that you don’t see the amazing man he’s grown into.”

“Shit.” Tracy sagged back in her chair. “You really are in love with him.”

“I didn’t think it was a secret.” Certainly not from Ren after she’d thrown her heart at him last night.

“I knew you were attracted to him. What red-blooded woman wouldn’t be? And every look he throws at you is X-rated. But you’re so wise about people. I thought you understood that any relationship with Ren has to stay at an animal level. The only thing he’s ever really serious about is his work.”

Isabel felt a pathetic need to defend him. “He’s serious about a lot of things.”

“Name one.”

“Food.”

“There you go,” Tracy drawled.

“I mean everything about food. He likes cooking it, creating with it, serving it. Food means community to him, and you know better than anyone how little of that he grew up with. He loves Italy. He adores your children, whether he’ll admit it or not. He’s interested in history, and he knows art and music. And he’s serious about me.” She took a deep breath, and her voice lost its assurance. “Just not as serious as I am about him. He’s got this maddening thing about how wicked he is and how saintly I am.”

“Ren lives in an alternate universe, and maybe it has made him wicked. Women throw themselves at him. Studio executives practically beg him to take their money. People can’t say yes fast enough. It gives him a distorted view of his place in the world.”

Isabel started to say that she found Ren’s view of his place in the world fairly clearheaded, if a little cynical, but Tracy wasn’t finished.

“He doesn’t like hurting women, but somehow he always ends up doing exactly that. Please, Isabel… don’t let yourself get sucked in.”

Good advice, but it had come too late.

Isabel tried to stay busy, only to find herself staring off into space or washing the same dish over and over. When she realized she was hanging around the farmhouse in case the phone rang, she was so angry with herself that she grabbed her datebook and began planning every minute. She visited Tracy, played with the children, and spent hours at the villa helping get ready for the festa. Her affection for Anna grew as the older woman told her stories about the history of the villa and the people of Casalleone.

Three days passed, and she didn’t hear a word from Ren. She felt rudderless, heartsick, and increasingly despondent about the course her life was taking. Not only had she failed to find a new direction, but she’d made the old one even more difficult.

Vittorio and Giulia took her to Siena, but despite the beauty of the old city, the trip wasn’t a success. Whenever they passed a child, Giulia’s sadness became almost palpable. Although she put up a good front, their failure to find the statue had devastated her. Vittorio did his best to cheer them up, but the tension had begun to take its toll on him, too.