Freedman exchanged those bits of information shortly after departure. Then Mr. Cohen pulled his hat forward and promptly fell asleep. Mrs. Freedman chattered amiably about her daughter and son-in-law, about her first grandchild, and about how dreadful it was for her only child to be living so far away. Eventually, she ran out of things to say and fell silent, her eyes falling closed and her double chin bobbing against her ample breasts. Rachel smiled at Gavin, then laid her head on his shoulder, thankful for the silence at last. She wondered, if they were alone, what they would find to talk about. What was it going to be like, married to this man? Would he discuss the business of ranching with her? Would he consider her opinions important? She decided she was grateful for the other occupants of the coach. There would be time enough later to feel their way into this new relationship. She would rather savor the memory of their two nights at the Overland Hotel. At least she knew what to expect from the physical side of marriage. Her smile increased as she closed her eyes and, like her coachmates, drifted off to sleep. They rented a horse and sleigh in Challis and headed for Killarney Hall to pick up the children. Rachel couldn’t get over the change that had overtaken the area during her absence. She had come to think of the land only in terms of white layers of snow, but in the six weeks since she’d left, a harbinger of spring had arrived in the form of Chinook winds, slowly melting away the worst evidence of a harsh winter.

“We haven’t seen the last of it yet,” Gavin said, reading Rachel’s mind.

“We’ll see snow in March and maybe in April too. But if it seems long here, it’s worse in the Stanley Basin. I don’t envy those miners in Sawtooth City and whatever other camps have popped up in the last year or two.” He chuckled.

“I have to admit, even I got spoiled by the warm weather down in Boise City.”

“It was nice, wasn’t it?” The sleigh crested the ridge, and Killarney Hall came into view. Rachel’s stomach did a sudden flip-flop.

“Do you suppose they’ll forgive me for leaving the way I did?” she asked, her voice quavering.

“They love you. They’ll forgive you.”

“I want to be a good mother to them.”

“You will be,” he assured her.

“Oh, Gavin, I’m so nervous.”

“Don’t be. It’ll be fine. You’ll see.” It seemed so easy for him to be self-assured. He wasn’t the one who had married the girls’ pa so soon after their mother’s death. He wasn’t the one who had up and left without so much as a good-bye. Why hadn’t it occurred to her sooner that they might not be as happy to see her as she was going to be to see them? But it was too late now. She would have to make the best of it. The sleigh sped down the gentle slope and hurried toward the large stone structure, Rachel’s anxiety growing with each passing minute. Gavin had just lifted her from the sleigh when the door opened and Patrick appeared on the veranda. Her mouth went dry as her eyes met his. He grinned and came down the steps to meet them.

“Sure and aren’t you a sight for sore eyes, my lovely.” He picked her up and hugged her.

“I never would’ve thought you’d be so much improved so soon. You look in the pink of health.”

“Careful how you manhandle my wife, O’Donnell,” Gavin said gravely.

“Your wife, is she?” Patrick set Rachel back on her feet and backed away from her.

“Then that’s what the spot o’ color is doin’ in those lovely cheeks.

“Tis the blush of happiness.” He thrust out his hand toward Gavin.

“Then ‘tis my congratulations you’ve got, Gavin Blake. I’m glad you had the sense to marry her. I’d not have given you another chance.”

“How are Brina and Pet?” Rachel asked, her face flushed with embarrassment.

“They’re fit and full of vinegar and anxious to have their father back. Wait ‘til they see you, Rachel. There’ll be no containin’ their joy then.” She wished she was as confident of her reception.

“Come in from the cold. I’ll send Crandal for the wee lasses. They’ll be playin’ in the schoolroom this time o’ day.” Gavin’s hand settled in the small of her back as they climbed the steps behind Patrick. A quick glance at Gavin’s face increased her uneasiness. It was set in hard, remote lines, a look she hadn’t seen in many days now. * Gavin’s gaze took in the opulence of the entry hall as they made their way to the salon. Everywhere he looked there was evidence of wealth and grandeur. What, he wondered, was Rachel thinking as she looked at her surroundings? Was she remembering that all this could have been hers? Was she sorry for her decision? Might she have married Patrick eventually if Gavin hadn’t followed her to Boise? He glanced at Patrick, who was grinning and still chattering as they waited for the children. Patrick’s love for Rachel was written all over the big man’s face. Would the day come when she wanted that love? I love you, Gavin, she’d whispered on their wedding night. He tried to comfort himself with the memory, only he was too aware that she hadn’t repeated those words in the days since. What if he wasn’t able to keep that love alive? He would kill the man who tried to steal Rachel from him. The realization struck him like a blow to the solar plexus, and he knew it was true. Unlike his father, who had given himself over to drink, Gavin would hold onto what was his. He had only to glance at Rachel to know he couldn’t face life without her.

“Pa!”

“Pa!” He swung around and knelt in time to catch the girls, one in each arm, as they hurled themselves at him.

“Look at the two of you. Lord almighty, I’ve missed you.”

“We missed you, too, Pa,” Sabrina said, hugging his neck.

“Look, Pa,” Petula interrupted.

“My arm’s all better.” She bent and straightened it several times just to prove it. Then, in unison, the girls wriggled free of his embrace, turning their eyes on Rachel.

“Have you come back to stay, Miss Harris?” Sabrina asked in the blunt manner of a nine-year-old. Gavin rose and went to stand beside Rachel,

placing his arm around her back.

“We have a surprise for you, girls, and we hope you’ll be happy about it. Rachel and I were married last week.” There was a pregnant silence. Finally, Petula asked, “Does that make you our ma now?” He felt a slight tremor pass through Rachel before she knelt, facing the youngest girl at eye level.

“I would like very much to be your mother, Pet, but I don’t mean to take your ma’s place. I know I couldn’t do that, even if I wanted to. We all loved her too much. Perhaps you could call me Mother instead of Ma.” Another lengthy silence followed.

“I don’t know if I could ever explain why I left the way I did,” Rachel continued, “but I want you to know it had nothing to do with you children. I love you very much, and leaving you was the hardest thing I ever did.”

“Was it ‘cause you couldn’t marry Mr. O’Donnell?” Sabrina asked.

“Is that why you left?” Rachel inhaled.

“Yes. That was part of it.”

“Do you love our pa?” She sighed as a tiny smile curved the corners of her mouth.

“Yes, Brina. I love your pa. Very much.” Gavin wasn’t sure what kind of reaction he’d expected from the children, but his chest swelled with pride as he heard Rachel telling them how much she loved him. Moments later, the two girls were giving Rachel a hug and kissing her cheek.

“We’re glad to have you back … Mother,” he heard Petula whisper. Life seemed pretty good to Gavin Blake. She was home. Truly home. It surprised Rachel how right it felt, walking in the door of the ranch house at the Lucky Strike and knowing this was her home. It suddenly seemed to her that she’d only been visiting Maggie for a few weeks, and now she was back where she belonged. She watched as the men carried her trunks through the main room and into Gavin’s bedroom. Their bedroom. Again, it had a feeling of rightness. On his way back out of the bedroom, Stubs winked at her. She smiled in return, grateful for his silent approval. Stubs and Jess stayed in the house for a while, updating Gavin on things that had happened while he was away. The girls slipped off to their bedroom, unpacking their valises from their stay at Killarney Hall. As Rachel listened to the sound of the men’s deep voices, she wandered into Gavin’s bedroom. Our bedroom, she reminded herself again. She looked at the large four-poster with its heavy patchwork quilt. Except for summers in the basin, this would be where she spent her nights for the rest of her life. She would conceive babies, God willing, in this bed, and she would give birth to them here as well. This would be where she would lie in her husband’s arms and they would plan out their future. She ran her fingers over the smooth wood of one of the posts, then leaned her forehead against it. Everything would be complete if only he would tell her he loved her, she thought, hating the stab of sadness that marred the perfection of this moment.

“Rachel?” She turned, still holding onto the post. Gavin closed the door.

“You all right?” He moved a step closer. She nodded. He must have read something in her expression.

“You don’t mind that this was Dru’s room, do you?” She hadn’t even thought of it until he mentioned it.

“It was her bedroom. Not ours. We shared the room but not…” He paused.

“Our marriage … well, it was just a technicality so I could adopt Brina and Pet.” It was a moment before Rachel realized what he was saying. He was telling her she was his only true wife. She was glad for the knowledge. But it wasn’t enough to take the thin edge of pain away. Only his love could do that. Somehow, she had to break through the barrier to his heart. Somehow… Chapter Thirty-Seven

Days flowed into weeks and weeks into first one month and then two. It was a magical time for Rachel. Life on the Lucky Strike hadn’t changed in her absence. The work was always there, waiting to be done, and much of it was hard and back-breaking. She’d done it all before, but now it was her home, and somehow that made it different. Gavin often caught her humming as she scrubbed floors or bent over the big tubs on washdays or cooked meals for a hungry family. Nights were even more magical. They made love often, and she found that he hadn’t lied to her. It did get better. She became more confident in her response to him. She slowly learned the unique power she wielded as a woman and secretly reveled in it.