But her face was set, determined, as though she’d made a decision and nothing was about to deflect her. She felt his glance and met his gaze and smiled, but he knew the smile was an effort.

He was leaving for New York. He couldn’t help her. Even if he could, that’d mean getting involved-and he didn’t do involved.

Did he?

Lots of things had to be thought through, he mused, fighting confusion. But in the meantime there should be something he could do. There must be some way he could help her.

And suddenly there was. They were driving past a farm gate, and a sign, roughly scrawled on a piece of tin propped against the mailbox, made him take his foot off the accelerator. Then, as the idea took hold, he braked, pulled the car onto the verge and stopped.

‘Um, why are we stopping?’ she demanded.

‘We’ve forgotten something both you and Rusty need.’ He was backing into the driveway and finally she saw the sign.

Golden Retriever Puppies. Ten Weeks Old.

‘We don’t-’ she gasped.

‘Yes, you do,’ he said, and somehow he knew enough of this woman to realise his gut instinct was right. ‘You had four dogs. You and Rusty have had six months by yourselves, and that’s long enough. I have colleagues with dogs and I know how big a part of their lives they are. And I’ve met golden retrievers. They smile. You live in a place where pets are welcome-yes, I saw the sign-so why not?’

Then, as he saw her face, a mixture of distress and despair, he cut the engine, tilted her chin with his finger and said, ‘Tori, you need something warm and alive and new, something not scarred by what’s gone before. If Rusty hates it…if you hate it, then okay, but I do want you to think about it.’

She still looked distressed. He hesitated, unsure what to say, unsure what his feelings were. Last night this woman had moved him as no one had ever done. If he had longer… If it was possible, maybe she’d even penetrate the armour he’d built up around himself.

But for now, he couldn’t leave her like this. Despite the colour and the flowers, he couldn’t leave her in her strange little relocatable. Relocatable… Even the name seemed wrong.

This woman needed a home. Home was a strange concept for Jake, who’d always regarded home as where he could crash with least effort, but there was something about Tori that said home was much more.

‘Last night changed things,’ he said softly. ‘They say men can take sex as it comes, and maybe they’re right, most of the time, but they’re not talking about what we had last night. It’s bound me to you in some way I can’t begin to figure. It made me feel like part of you is part of me. Whether that’s dumb or not, that’s the way you make me feel. Our lives don’t connect. Not now. Not yet. But I can’t walk away and leave you and Rusty without something of me.’

He glanced again at the sign. Maybe this was a cop-out, he thought, but for now it was all he could do. Anything else scared him stupid. ‘So can I buy you and Rusty a puppy?’ he asked again. ‘From me to you.’

‘So we get to hug a puppy in the middle of the night instead of you,’ she whispered, in a voice that wasn’t quite steady.

‘Instead of nothing,’ he said, and he heard bleakness but he couldn’t help it. He hesitated, and then, because it seemed right, he kissed her, gently on the lips, and forced a smile. ‘Though you can pretend it’s me if you like. I hear golden retrievers make great tongue kissers.’

‘Eww!’

He grinned. The distress on her face faded and the tension between them lessened a little. The kiss seemed to have made things better. It had made them seem…friends as well as lovers?

Friends instead of lovers.

Tori was smiling a little now, but she was chewing her bottom lip, looking at the sign, looking at him, looking at the sign again. Focusing on a puppy.

It was no small thing, he thought, to lose three beloved dogs and then to move forwards.

‘Should I call him Jake?’ she asked, and he blinked.

‘Jake.’

‘Big and warm and a bit shaggy.’

‘Hey!’

‘It fits.’

‘I don’t believe I’m shaggy.’

‘You could be,’ she said. ‘If you loosened up a little. If you forgot to be a Manhattan millionaire.’

‘I’m not!’

‘Rob says you are.’

‘Rob talks too much. I’m just-’

‘A doctor doing his best,’ she said, laughter fading. ‘And your best has been wonderful. You saved Doreen’s life last night. In a way, you’ve saved Glenda’s. You’re wonderful.’

The depth of sincerity in her voice was unmistakable. You’re wonderful. He’d never been given such a compliment-by such a woman. And suddenly the light kiss he’d just given her was no longer enough. He desperately wanted to kiss her again-only this time deeply and long-but she was looking at the sign again, and there was a furrow between her eyes that told him her focus was no longer on him.

He had to back off.

‘I guess…’ she said slowly. ‘I’m not working yet. It’d be a good time to get a pup. And it could really help Rusty.’

Okay, forget the kiss. Concentrate on what was important. ‘It’d be a great time to get a pup, and I’d love to buy one for you.’

‘I’d pay,’ she said quickly.

‘No,’ he said, and he tugged her round to face him again. ‘Manhattan millionaire, Tori. My gift.’

She smiled, a little bit wobbly but a smile for all that. ‘If he’s from a Manhattan millionaire, then he should have a diamond-studded collar.’

‘He’d think it was girlie.’

‘Then,’ she said, her smile widening as she climbed out of the car, ‘let’s see if they have a girl. Jake might need to become Jackie. A golden retriever who doesn’t sniff at diamonds. Jake or Jackie. Let’s see what they have.’


She didn’t choose a Jake. She chose a female and she chose a runt. Or Rusty chose a runt and Tori agreed.

He might have known. There were six pups as big as one another, as energetic as one another, as healthy as one another. There was one bigger than the rest, a male who obviously spent his life trying to round up his litter mates, growing more and more exasperated as his siblings didn’t do what he wanted. And then there was a tiny female who tried gamely to join into the family romp and got knocked over every time. Rusty went straight to her, nose to tail, tail to nose, and they started, tentatively, to play.

‘We nearly put her down,’ the breeder told them, as Tori scooped up the pup in one hand and Rusty in another. ‘My husband wanted to-she’s such a runt-only she kept on fighting for her place at a teat and she has such courage that I couldn’t bear to. But she’s not right,’ she confessed as Tori snuggled her under her chin. ‘Her left ear is weird. It sort of sticks up when it’s supposed to flop. And her tail’s supposed to be long and feathery and I can tell already that it’s not. The older she’s getting the worse it’s looking. If you want her, she’s cheap.’

Neither of them was thinking of money. Jake watched Tori snuggle the little girl to her; he watched her with two dogs in her arms, and he felt great. This was going to work.

Then he got distracted. The biggest pup had been tearing round in circles. He had his litter mates rounded up, but then one of his sisters made a break for it. He darted after her, the others scattered and he had to start the whole process again. He practically beamed as he proceeded to bounce around the circle again.

He didn’t know dogs. His mother had hated them, and now he spent his life at work. A dog was out of the question. But he watched Tori cuddle her two and he thought… He thought…

‘Would you like two pups?’ he asked her. ‘I think the round-up guy’s great.’

Tori’s arms were full of wriggly dog. For a runt the little one had plenty of bounce, and Rusty was wriggling, too. They were practically turning inside out to reach each other.

‘Two,’ Tori gasped. ‘Are you trying to drown me?’ She sank onto the floor and was pounced on by a sea of pups. ‘Oh, Jake, I shouldn’t even think about one.’

She was half laughing, half crying. This was a huge thing for her, Jake thought, as he watched her hug armloads of pups. She’d lost three dogs in the most dreadful of circumstances, and she’d lost so much more. For her now to move on… To learn to love again…

‘It feels like a betrayal,’ she whispered but she hugged her runt closer.

‘Grief has to let you go sometime,’ Jake said softly. ‘What did Auden say? Stop all the clocks? They did stop for you, Tori, but now they need to start again. Nothing is worth stopping the clocks for the rest of your life. And if that means loving again…’

‘Says the man who doesn’t do loving.’

‘How did-’

‘I can guess,’ she whispered, smiling up at him through tears. ‘I’m guessing your parents stuffed you so badly you’ve never got over it. So why don’t you get a pup?’

‘I work fourteen hours a day,’ he said shortly. ‘I can hardly leave one of these guys in a corner of the operating room while I work.’

‘I guess you can’t,’ she said sadly, but then a tiny smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. ‘As opposed to me. I’m a vet. I could take these guys to work. I could manage two dogs.’

‘Not three?’ He was still eyeing the round-up king, circler extraordinaire.

‘Can you imagine that guy in my shoebox?’ she demanded, following his gaze. ‘My yard’s the size of a pocket handkerchief. Even one’s stupid. Maybe I shouldn’t…’

Okay, he needed to focus. Forget the round-up king, he told himself, and he crouched among the puppies so he was right in front of her.

‘It would be my pleasure to buy one of these pups for you,’ he said. ‘Please let me.’

Her gaze met his. Her eyes were glimmering with unshed tears, but she was trying to smile.

‘A birthday gift?’

‘When’s your birthday?’ he demanded, stunned.