v

• 157 •


JuliE CaNNoN

Caroline had intentionally kept an eye out for Shannon in the airport, hotel lobby, and here in Canberra. She knew she couldn’t avoid her for long, but the longer she did delayed the inevitable.

She felt like a fool, or an idiot. She wasn’t sure which. How stupid of her to think that Shannon wanted something from her other than a quickie trip down memory lane. The sex between them had always been more than unbelievable.

The scene with Shannon and her father two mornings ago was still fresh in her mind. She needed to put it in its proper place and devote her full concentration on preparing for this race. The races in this series had been won and lost in tenths of a second. This race would be determined by much more than that.

v

Shannon finally cornered Caroline three days later. She had knocked on Caroline’s hotel door until her knuckles bled, staked out the practice runs, and roamed the park grounds desperately searching for her. It was as if she had not arrived, but Shannon knew better. The Bellow trailer was there and showed signs of constant activity. But no matter what she did, or where she went, she was never able to connect with Caroline.

She wanted to see Caroline again. Needed to see her again. Shannon had to reinforce the connection they shared because it didn’t seem real.

She thought she didn’t have any residual feelings for Caroline, but one touch, one kiss, and she knew she had been lying to herself all these years. The feelings intensified as she finally saw Caroline walking across the expo grounds.

Shannon slipped behind the giant tent to cut off Caroline’s access to her sponsor trailer. She stepped out from behind a stack of boxes and gently grabbed Caroline’s hand and pulled her back into the area away from the prying eyes of others. Before Caroline had a chance to react, Shannon covered her mouth in a searing kiss. Shannon’s head spun from the contact and she was left hanging when Caroline pushed her away.

“Don’t touch me.” Caroline’s voice was harsh.

• 158 •


Descent

“What?” Shannon was dizzy from the kiss and Caroline’s rejection.

She hadn’t expected this reaction.

“You heard me.” Her voice was like ice.

“What are you talking about?”

“You know damn good and well what I’m talking about. If you think for one minute I’m going to stand for that, to be treated like another one of your biker babes, you have another think coming. Get out of my way.”

Caroline started to brush by but Shannon grabbed her arm and stopped her. She had no idea what Caroline was talking about and was not going to let her walk away again. Before she had the chance to say anything else, Caroline slapped her. Hard.

“I said don’t touch me.” Shannon had never seen such flames of anger in Caroline’s eyes. “Not after her. Now get out of my way.”

Caroline enunciated each word. Shannon was too stunned to do anything but let her walk away.

Frowning, Shannon shook her head trying to clear it. What in the hell just happened? What was Caroline talking about? Her who? Those and several other questions pounded in her head as she walked back in the direction she had just come. With each step Shannon relived every moment after their night together searching for something, anything, that would give her a clue to what Caroline was talking about.

Shannon stopped suddenly and her stomach lurched, pushing bile into her throat. Nikki. It had to be. Somehow, Caroline must have seen Nikki with her and assumed the worst. It couldn’t be anything other than that. She had barely spoken to anyone after the race, and certainly not in a way that would lead Caroline to believe she had been with anyone else. She pivoted and ran after Caroline.

“Caroline, wait. It’s not what you’re thinking,” Shannon shouted when she was still yards away from her retreating form. “Caroline, let me explain,” she added finally alongside, hurrying to keep up with Caroline.

Caroline didn’t respond or even acknowledge that she knew Shannon was at her elbow. “Caroline, please.” She was not above begging. Caroline stopped so suddenly Shannon ended three steps ahead of her.

• 159 •


JuliE CaNNoN

“Let me make this perfectly clear. Leave me alone. Don’t talk to me, try to see me, or even look at me. That night was a mistake. A very bad mistake. And it will never happen again.” Caroline walked away leaving Shannon breathless with fear.

• 160 •


Descent

ChaPTER TwENTy-oNE

But this time she did something about it. Caroline hadn’t gone five yards before Shannon caught up with her and blocked her retreat.

“I don’t know what in the hell you think you saw, but you’re going to listen to what I have to say.” Her feet were planted firmly in front of Caroline and there was no way she was getting around her. When Caroline tried, Shannon shuffled her feet to maintain her position.

“I don’t give a shit what you have to say,” Caroline growled.

“And I don’t care what you think,” Shannon shot back. This did little to deflate Caroline’s anger and she crossed her arms in front of her in typical defensive body language, her face devoid of any emotion.

Shannon was not going to be deterred.

“I ran away from you once before, and it’s not your turn to do it to me. Not like this. There is nothing going on between me and Nikki Striker. There never has been and there never will be. She’s been after me forever, but I am not interested and I’ve told her that on more than one occasion. What you saw was just another attempt to get me…her way of trying to convince me…to get me to change my mind…” Shannon was flustered, unable to find the right words. The right words were important. She needed to convince Caroline that Nikki was nothing, never was, and never would be.

“You don’t expect me to believe that you turned her down? She’s just your type.”

Caroline’s words stung, but then again the truth sometimes did.

• 161 •


JuliE CaNNoN

With her reputation, why should Caroline believe her? She had to make her believe it.

“Yes, Caroline, I do expect you to believe me.” Caroline’s amused expression said it all. “And let me tell you why. First, I’ve never lied to you. Never. Well, there was that one time when you found that locket in my drawer and I told you it was for my mother,” Shannon said trying a little humor to deflect her nerves. It didn’t work.

“Seriously, Caroline. I didn’t lie to you when we were together, and I’m not lying to you now. If I’d slept with half the women I’ve been rumored to, I wouldn’t be here. You know what it takes to compete at this level.”

Caroline’s body had not relaxed but she wasn’t trying to sidestep her anymore either.

“I’ve missed you. I didn’t realize how much until the other night.

And no, it’s not about sex,” she added hastily lest Caroline think it was all about the sex. “I miss talking to you, holding you, watching you move, listening to you breathe, seeing the sparkle in your eyes when you’re excited, the fire when you’re angry. I miss arguing with you, debating with you, agreeing with you.”

Shannon took a chance that Caroline wouldn’t run and stepped away a foot or two. She needed to move, to help herself think. The words were pouring through her and threatened to spill out of her mouth unchecked.

“I’m sorry I left you all those years ago. I was a stupid kid who didn’t know any better. I was afraid. Afraid of my feelings for you.

Scared to death of your father. Dean Phillips held my future in her hands. Without you I didn’t have anybody to lean on, nobody to help me get through it. My parents were only concerned with themselves.

They had no clue how to be parents. I let you go and spent years trying to find your replacement. But I never did because no one can ever take your place in my heart, in my life. I never should have let you go without tracking you down to the ends of the earth.” Shannon took a breath, her courage building.

“I’ve done some things in my life I’m not terribly proud of.

Especially after…well, after high school. I’m not going to make any excuses or try to pretend they didn’t happen. I was ugly and mistreated people and I can’t begin to say how sorry I am. If I could make it up in

• 162 •


Descent

some way, I would. But all I can do right now is accept it, learn from it, and try to be a better person because of it.”

Shannon was suddenly very tired, like she’d been carrying a heavy wet blanket around her shoulders for the past ten years. She was weary and worn out, fatigue pulling down her limbs and her spirit. She had one more thing to say and she had to get it right. She might never have another opportunity.

“I wish I could do it all over again, that day. I’d tell your father that I loved you and I wanted us to be together for the rest of our lives. I’d tell him that he might be able to keep us apart until we were eighteen but after that, we’d be adults and would be together regardless of what he said. I’d tell him that I’d take care of you, in sickness and in health, for better or worse, and all the other words people in love say when they make a commitment to each other. And I would forsake all others.

I’d say all that, Caroline, because I loved you.”

Shannon stopped pacing and stood directly in front of Caroline.

Risking painful rejection, she grasped Caroline’s hands in hers. She felt them shaking. “And I’d say it all again today because I still love you.