Even fully clothed, I contemplate dousing my dumb ass with freezing cold water to take the edge off my agitation. What the fuck was that? One minute I’m all smiles and happy thoughts, and the next I’m aggressive as hell. I remember my dad pulling shit like this. Blowing his lid over something like a bad grade or an unmade bed.

The murderous beat of my blood pounds in my head. I lean my forehead against the cold tile and wonder if head butting the shower wall will alleviate some of the tension.

“I get it.”

My eyes swivel in the direction of Jonah’s voice. He’s leaning up against the wall, arms crossed at his chest.

I turn around, slide my back down the wall, and sit.

He has no clue. His dad was Ward freakin’ Cleaver until the day he died. “No. You don’t.” I hold my head in my hands.

“You’re into her.”

I exhale hard and bury my fists in my eye sockets. Into her? Fuck. Yeah.

“I’d lose my shit at the thought of Raven going to Flesh.” I hear Jonah step toward me. “But it’s Layla’s job, man. She’s got a kid to feed. Good news is, she won’t be there alone. We’ll all be there. Make sure no one fucks with her.”

I nod into my hands, my heart rate slowing.

“But B, man, you owe that poor girl an apology. Had to be embarrassing, you nutting up on her like that in front of us.”

“Fuck, I know.” I want to ask him to knock me out. I’d do it myself if I could. “Something’s not right. I’m jumping out of my skin.”

He squats down to my eye level. “Dude, just admit it. You’re falling for a chick.”

“Fuck you.”

He laughs and shakes his head. “Suit yourself. She’s hot, sweet as hell. You deny this, you’re missin’ out.”

Not at all enjoying his reference to my woman being hot, I scowl. “You think you’re telling me something I don’t know? I don’t want to be a dick to her. It just keeps happening. I’m fucked up.”

He shrugs and shakes his head. “You’re holding back a monster by keeping in your feelings. That’d make any man go crazy.”

Maybe he’s right. Denying the pull could be what’s making me act like an ass. But allowing myself to feel what I’ve been pushing down deep means… fuck, I have no clue. What I do know is that being a part of Layla and Axelle’s life means responsibility. I won’t let myself give in to the possibility of what might be if I’m not committed to making it happen. And then there’s my past to wrestle with. The anger, the control, my secret. What if they walk away? Could I handle that kind of loss? That’s what I’ve got to figure out.

I look up from my huddled ball of shame. “You know where she is?”

He tosses a quick look over his shoulder. “Last I saw, she was outside with Rex and Caleb.”

“Fuck.” I push up from the ground. “I’ll make it right.”

He claps me on the shoulder as I pass by. “Good. And think about what I said.”

Yeah, yeah.

Walking through the locker room feels like a death march. The thought that Layla’s mad at me is enough to make me sick. But the idea that she may not forgive me is one too painful to consider.

I find her sitting in a chair just outside the locker room door. Rex and Caleb aren’t with her, and she doesn’t look like she’s been crying. Thank God.

She stands and moves toward me, concern etched into her gorgeous face. “Blake, what happened back there?”

I stop a foot away from her, making sure not to reach out and pull her to me until I know we’re okay. “I’m really sorry, Mouse. I have no excuse other than I’m an asshole.”

Her eyebrows drop low over her blinking lashes.

“I have this impulse to keep you and Axelle safe.” I run my hand over my head, hoping she doesn’t think I’m as pathetic as I sound. “I’m not saying it’s okay, I’m just trying to get you to understand.”

She nods over and over. Her eyes are wide and staring at me, or through me. Not a word is coming from her lips. Did I spook her? She’s still nodding.

“Mouse?”

Her eyes focus on me and shine with moisture.

“Ah, fuck. I’m sorry.” I reach for her and pull her in for a hug. My stomach jumps in surprise when her arms go around my waist and hug me tight. I hold her head against my chest and nuzzle her hair. “Don’t cry, sweetheart.”

As if timing is out to fuck me, Jonah comes strolling out of the locker room. He takes a second to study our position before a smile cuts through his serious expression. I glare at him, but can’t help a small grin from pulling at my lips.

Damn, I hate it when he’s right.

He shakes his head and walks away.

“Let me take you out tomorrow night,” I say into her hair.

“I can’t.” She pushes out of the hug, but I keep my arms around her. “I have plans tonight.”

“Plans?” The word vibrates from my chest. Adrenaline once again roars through my veins.

She places her palms on my chest and tilts her head back to look at me. “I told you the other day. I’m going out with Raven.”

Oh, thank fuck. “Where’re you girls going?”

“We thought we’d grab some dinner, maybe go watch Ataxia. It won’t be a late night since I have to work Saturday at, um, you know.” A pink hue colors her cheeks.

The publicity party at Flesh. Like I could forget. “All right, Mouse.” I place a quick kiss on her head and release her from my hold. “Another time then.”

A flash of disappointment registers in her expression. I wrestle with the urge to grin like a kid.

She picks at the logo on my tee. “So I’ll see you tomorrow, right? At the—”

“Yeah, I’ll be there.” Watching over you and wishing like hell I could lock you away to keep you safe.

“Maybe we could, you know, go grab a bite after?”

Battle lost, I grin. “You askin’ me out?”

She smacks my chest, and the bell-like sound of her laughter trickles from her lips and straight to my gut. “You said you wanted to go out.”

I flatten her hand against my chest and hold her to me. “Oh, I do.” Cupping her jaw, I run my thumb along her bottom lip. So plump and kissable… fuck, I’d bite it if I could. “I’m just fuckin’ with you, Mouse.”

Her eyes dart to the side, like she’s looking to see who’s watching. “Blake—”

“Don’t worry, I won’t kiss you again unless you ask.”

The disappointment is back, but this time it lingers. My chest swells with satisfaction. She wants this.

And I’d be a lying fool if I said I didn’t want it too.

Fifteen

Layla

“He did what?” Raven slams down her glass, sending cranberry juice over the lip. “In front of Taylor?”

I take a quick look around the restaurant where we’ve been eating, drinking, and gabbing for the last hour. With an apologetic smile to the couple one table over, I sip my wine. “No, he’d left. But Jonah and the guys were all there.”

“Oh, I’m so having a talk with him.” She pulls out her cell phone.

I reach over and cover her dialing hand. “No, you can’t. We already talked about it.”

Her aquamarine eyes narrow at me. “Please tell me he apologized.”

“Yeah, he did.” I smile at the memory of him explaining himself. I’d never seen him look so vulnerable. “It was really sweet.”

Her pinched expression smoothes. “He means well. These guys aren’t used to feeling anything for a woman beyond sex.”

I run my fingertip along the stem of my wine glass. “You think Blake feels something for me?”

She snorts and looks at me like I’d just asked her if the sky is blue. “You’re kidding, right? He’s not the type who goes out of his way for just anyone.”

Memories from the night when Elle came home drunk infiltrate my thoughts. His quiet support when I spoke about my marriage, and his advice on how to deal with Elle. Which reminds me…

“I hope it’s okay, but Blake told me about your place. Raven’s Nest?”

She nods.

We talked earlier about what brought me to Vegas, and I gave her the Cliff’s Notes version of my old life.

“I’m sure you can imagine after our move and my divorce, Elle’s been having a hard time adjusting. Blake suggested that we check out your place, maybe get some counseling.”

She doesn’t say anything, and nerves have me rushing to fill the dead air between us. “I’m so afraid that if I don’t jump on getting help, it’ll be too late. It may already be too late, but I have to try.”

She stares at me, unmoving for a few seconds, and then blinks. “That’s a good idea. We have some great therapists on staff.” Phone in hand, she taps something onto the screen. “There. I sent you the contact info. Ask for Milena. That’s my mom.”

Her mom? “Great. Thank you. I know it’s probably weird me asking you for all this help, first my car, now this, but—”

“No.” She shakes her head. “I’m happy to do it. It’s nice to see a mom who cares enough about her relationship with her daughter to fight for it.” The sadness in her eyes is hard to look at. “I get it, Layla. Things haven’t always been good between my mom and me, but we’re working on repairing old wounds.”

“Are you sure that’s possible? I mean, some hurts run deep. What if the damage is too much?”

She stares out the window, her finger brushing absent-mindedly across her scarred eyebrow. I’ve heard whispers of her story at work, that her father kidnapped her before she was forced to kill him. It’s amazing to look at this young woman today. Despite all that she’s been through, here she is. Laughing, smiling, living. Moving on.

Shaking her head, she turns back to me. She smiles and takes a sip of her drink. “You know, I have to believe that forgiveness is possible for even the worst offenses. If not, then what’s the point in it all? Everything shapes who you are, who your daughter will become. And even the bad can be used for good.”