Lucy Gordon - For The Sake Of His Child

‘He was having a nightmare. I don’t think I can go out after all. If he awakens-’

‘He must find you still here,’ she agreed at once, coming over to the bed.

Joey stirred again and Carson looked down into the child’s face. Gina drew a long, wondering breath at the expression on his face. This was the real Carson, the man who lived beneath the prickly exterior, a man whose love for his son was so profound and heartbreaking that it could barely be confessed, and then only to herself.

She’d come close to refusing him but now she saw that she’d nearly thrown away everything that made her life worth living. Their marriage might bring her sadness, but she loved this vulnerable man, and she could no more walk away from him than fly to the moon. Whatever the future held, she would face it.

She touched him gently on the shoulder and waited for him to look up.

‘I’ll marry you,’ she said.

She slept in Carson’s room that night, so that he could be with his son. Next morning, she knocked on their door early. She had something important to say.

‘Is Joey awake?’

‘Yes.’

‘Did he tell you what was the matter last night?’

‘He doesn’t even remember having a nightmare.’

‘Then you must have driven it right away. Carson, have you told him about us?’

‘No, I wanted you to be there to see his face.’

‘I don’t want to tell him just yet. Let’s wait until he’s been switched on. He’s got a lot on his plate.’

‘Maybe you’re right,’ Carson agreed reluctantly.

It was the last morning, and in the afternoon they would start the journey home. Their final visit to the funfair was marred by one painful incident. But Gina thought that if you looked at it the right way it was a kind of triumph.

Joey became absorbed in hooking ducks out of the water. There was another boy there, of about his own age, and it soon developed into a contest between them. The boy’s parents looked on, smiling.

But their smiles changed to frowns when the children began to talk. Joey ventured to try speaking a few words, which the other boy seemed to comprehend. But his parents looked uncomfortable, and the mother moved forward and took firm hold of her son’s arm.

‘Come along, darling. We’ve got to be getting on.’

‘Mum-’ the child tried to introduce his new friend ‘-this is Joey-’

‘Yes, dear, but we have to be going.’

‘But Mum-’

‘Come on!’ the mother snapped. ‘Leave him alone, dear. He isn’t like other children.’

She spoke slowly and emphatically, and Joey, watching her face, made out every word. Gina flinched at the look that washed over his face.

But she wasn’t the only one who’d seen it. Carson confronted the woman, barely containing his rage.

‘You’re right, madam,’ he said bitingly. ‘My son isn’t like other children. He has more brains, more courage and more sheer guts than most people will ever know.’

It was worth everything to see the change in Joey as he saw his father defending him. He understood everything, not just the words, but Carson’s attitude of fierce protectiveness, and the way he laid his hand on his shoulder.

The other couple gathered their son and scuttled away. Joey and Carson looked at each other.

‘Are you all right, son?’

Joey nodded, and slipped his hand confidingly into his father’s. There was a shining happiness about him, and it lasted all the way home.

ON THE day of Joey’s ‘switch-on’ Carson drove them to the hospital. Joey sat in the back of the car with Gina, attending while she silently explained that today he would see, not a doctor, but a hearing specialist called an aurologist and a speech therapist. By the time they entered the building he had the air of someone who understood that serious business was afoot.

Gina had feared that the exterior attachment and the process of switching on and testing the sound might be distressing to a child. But Joey was so eager to get on that he took it all in his stride. At last the aurologist had finished.

‘Now,’ he said, standing back, ‘let’s see what happens.’

Nothing.

Joey looked around him in bewilderment, as if asking what was supposed to happen next. Gina closed her eyes, praying hard. Carson’s face was deathly pale. He turned away and went to the window behind his son. When he looked back Joey was sitting with his head bent, as though crushed by defeat.

‘My God!’ he said, distraught. ‘Oh, my God!’

Joey swung around sharply to look at his father.

‘Carson,’ Gina said through tears of joy. ‘He heard you!’

‘Did you?’ Carson flung himself on his knees beside Joey. ‘Did you hear me?’

‘He can’t understand,’ Gina protested. ‘He’s not used to the sounds of the words.’

Carson took Joey’s face between his hands, looking at him steadily. ‘Joey,’ he said. ‘Joey.’

‘Aaaah-’ the child said. And suddenly, a light came into his face. He had heard his own voice.

‘Joey,’ Carson repeated, hardly daring to believe the miracle

‘Aaaah!’ Joey repeated the sound, his astonishment and delight wonderful to see. ‘Aaaahh!’ he yelled jubilantly, while everyone in the room smiled and covered their ears.

‘He did it,’ Carson said in triumph. ‘He can hear!’

The aurologist was smiling but cautious. ‘Now the real work begins,’ he said. ‘The mapping is going to take time.’

‘Mapping?’ Carson echoed.

‘Programming the device so that Joey gets the best results. The levels and the tuning vary from person to person. You’ll need to bring him back every week, then every two weeks, then every month, every two months, three months, six, then once a year. And each time we’ll adjust the sound, building on his experience.’

He and Joey set to work, testing noises, constantly adjusting until they found the level where Joey was comfortable.

After a while Gina looked around and realised that Carson was missing. She slipped out into the corridor and found him there, standing, leaning against the wall, his eyes closed. He looked almost more like a man crushed by misfortune than one who’d seen the dawn of hope, but she knew him now, and understood the violence of the emotion that racked him.

She went to his side and touched him. At once his arms went tightly about her, and they stood together in the quiet corridor while his shoulders heaved with sobs.

Gina made Joey’s birthday cake herself and lovingly adorned it with eight candles.

She put the finishing touches to it early in the morning before Joey was up. Carson too came down early and found her in the kitchen. She was carefully adjusting the last candle, and he slipped his arms around her from behind, kissing the back of her neck in a way that distracted her and sent the candle toppling to the floor.

‘Now look what you’ve done,’ she told him severely.

‘You’ve got plenty more candles. You can spare me a moment, can’t you?’

She emerged from his arms a few minutes later, breathless and somewhat dishevelled.

‘No more waiting,’ he said. ‘I want to tell Joey about us today. We can be married by the end of next month. Say yes.’

‘Yes,’ she said happily. To be his wife in a few weeks. What more could she ask?

The sound of footsteps alerted them. Gina hastily whisked the cake out of sight, and a moment later Joey burst in gleefully. After that it was a pandemonium of laughter and presents.

The three of them spent the day in the park. It was the merriest birthday Joey had ever known. The world was a wonderland of new sounds. Some of them confused him, and he couldn’t cope with too many at once. But he was learning all the time.

In the late afternoon they returned home and Gina set up the table for tea. The cake was a triumphant success as she carried it in with the candles alight.

‘Blow!’ she said.

Joey took a huge breath and blew all eight candles out at once, while the other two clapped. When they had all eaten a slice Carson gave her a questioning look, which she answered with a nod. The child looked from one to the other.

‘Joey,’ Carson said, ‘you know how important Gina has become to us?’ Joey nodded. ‘Well, what would you say if-?’

He was interrupted by a sharp rap on the window behind them. Outside was a beautiful young woman with blonde hair, knocking with one hand and waving with the other. Through the net curtains Gina couldn’t see her clearly at first.

But then she did. And, with horror, she recognised her.

Angelica Duvaine.

Suddenly everything seemed to be in slow motion: Carson, following her appalled gaze, growing tense and still; Joey, his eyes riveted on the window, his mouth silently forming the word ‘Mummy’.

Carson rose like a man in a dream. He seemed to find it hard to move. Gina was watching his face, but all it contained was disbelief.

Joey was the first to come to life. He jumped to his feet and raced to the door, pulling it open to throw himself into the wide open arms of the woman. Carson seemed to recover the power of movement and went after him. Gina followed and was just in time to see Angelica put her arms about him, kissing him lingeringly on the mouth, while Joey bounced with excitement, and a dozen photographers snapped away eagerly.

Angelica Duvaine had brought the press with her.

‘Damn you, get out of here!’ Carson roared at them.

‘Don’t be angry, darling,’ Angelica cooed in a seductive voice. ‘I just had to share our happiness with the world.’

She turned from him quickly and hugged Joey again, the picture of motherly delight, but with her face always carefully turned towards the cameras.

A man wielding a microphone pushed forward. ‘Do you have a statement for us, Miss Duvaine?’