L. Miller - Gilded Wings

“Let me” the words rolled from his tongue so softly. I wanted his touch so I nodded. His hands sunk into my wet hair massaging the shampoo into my scalp and throughout the lengths of my long brunette hair. His touch was firm but gentle. I couldn’t help but let out a moan as my body melted under his touch. His hands paused for a moment as I heard his breathing increase, he had felt it too. I imagined his motions playing out over various parts of my body. Firm enough to warrant mind blowing orgasms, but gentle enough to know he was caring for my body. A heavy pulsing sensation crept between my legs. My body was eager for him but my head knew I was with Henry.

“I’m going to get washed and then get out now”, I smiled hoping he would take the hint.

“I’ll wait outside for you.”

I stood up and reached for the soft newly laundered fluffy cream towel and wrapped it around my body. The scent of vanilla covering my damp skin. Looking into the mirror I saw my reflection, for once I wasn’t shocked by my reflection, something had changed. I looked happy. Intoxicated but happy. I was thinking about Connor. I wiped away my thoughts and slipped on a fresh night dress from the cupboard. As I walked out through the bathroom door I could see Connor standing there in the hall, back pressed firmly against the wall. Patiently awaiting me. His eyes widened and mouth parted as he looked over the silk and lace which hung from my body. The silky midnight blue fabric clung to my breasts finishing just below my buttocks, edged in delicate lace. I felt empowered by the reaction I was causing Connor to have. I glanced down and smirked as I saw a tent appear in his boxer shorts. He caught my gaze.

“Shit, sorry, um” he blushed and turned around muttering something to himself.

“It’s ok, don’t worry about it”. I smiled at him and touched his arm. The touch sent surges of intense lusting through me. I may have felt it but I would never indulge in it, I was not that kind of woman.

Connor followed me into my bedroom. As I slipped into my brass king size bed I saw Connor standing in the doorway. He looked deep in contemplation. The light flicked off.

Footsteps crept towards my bed and I felt Connor slip under the sheets and lie down next to me. I curled onto my side, my back to him. He pressed his body against mine, wrapping his arms around my waist pulling me tighter into him. Our fingers entwined. Our bodies as one.

“I’m here with you, don’t be scared just close your eyes and sleep.”

His soft lips met with the nape of my neck. “Goodnight Evie”.

My eyes fluttered and I drifted off into a peaceful sleep, he made me feel safe. This was my serenity.

I awoke to the sunlight breaking through the sheer silk of the bedroom curtains. The heat of the morning rays against my skin made it unbearable to lie here any longer. I felt the comfort of two strong arms holding me tightly. His warm skin pressed against mine. I glanced behind me and saw Connor peacefully asleep. I edged my way out of his arms trying cautiously not to wake him. As I slipped out of bed I ran to the bathroom.

Reality intrudes, crashing down around me. This is far beyond my rational way of thinking. I have a man in my bed, a man who is in any case not Henry. How the hell could I have done this? I ran the cold faucet and splashed cold water across my burning forehead trying in desperation to wake myself up from this dream of purgatory. I had to deal with the consequences of my unjustified, oestrogen fuelled, intoxicated state of despair ridden actions and remove Connor from my bed. Immediately.

“Mornin Evie.” He said in a half-asleep slur as I walked back into my bedroom.

“Hey.” I paused hesitantly, “look, thank you for last night and looking after me, but this really cannot happen. You shouldn’t be in my bed and that was wrong of me for letting you”.

“It’s ok Evie, I would never take advantage of you. I just wanted to look after you. Do you want to talk about your dream?”

“It’s nothing, honestly, just a few bad memories” I paused for a moment, “I need you to go”. I had a look of sincerity in my eyes, I needed him to know I was serious. That he couldn’t be here with me.

“Look Evie”,

I interrupted him. “No I am sorry, I really am, but my life is pretty fucked up as it is and I can’t have you here. I need you to go. Please”. I didn’t want him to go, but he had too. I couldn’t have this moral debate with myself. Rational reason had prevailed. Connor sleeping in my bed was wrong.

The hurt in his eyes pained me. I wanted to take back my words, but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t do this to Henry or myself.

Conner stepped out of my bed and walked to the spare room. I heard him dress and walk back along the hall, the footsteps stopped outside my bedroom door.

“I’m here if you need me Evie”, then he left.

I heard the front door close and I knew that was it. He was gone.

I walked downstairs into the lounge and flipped open my laptop.

1 new email:

To: Everline Cross

From: Henry Webber

21st September 2012

11.58pm

Hey Baby,

Just to let you know I got arrived here well. I have arranged the booking of the wedding. It will be on October 18th at Botleys Mansion, Mother has contacts. While I am away why not go dress shopping and organise the bridesmaid dresses. Mother is sorting the caterers and flowers, you just need the dresses.

Love You

Henry

He means next month, four weeks until we get married, is he kidding me.

To: Henry Webber

From: Everline Cross

22nd September 2012

8.38am

Hi Henry,

Are you referring to our wedding being next month? In 4 weeks? It’s a little fast wouldn’t you say? Can we do it perhaps next year?

Where are you staying?

Love me

He must have got it wrong, he must mean next year. There is no way that could be right. Surely?

I wandered into the kitchen and flicked on the kettle, as it boiled I poured some cereal and began munching on my juvenile chocolaty pops. I strolled into the front room with my freshly made hot cup of tea and flicked on the television. Day time tv, urgh, nothing worse. Chat shows discussing who is doing who, who hates who or who’s the daddy…. My laptop alerted me to a mew message.

To: Everline Cross

From: Henry Webber

22nd September 2012

9.06am

Yes next month, what is the point of waiting? Mother informs me you have an appointment at the bridal shop on Wellington Street at 11am, Lucy and Alexis will meet you there, it has all been arranged If you feel it is too soon then perhaps you don’t want to marry me, do you Everline?

Staying in Goa

Love You

Henry

To: Henry Webber

From: Everline Cross

22nd September 2011

9.10am

Hi Henry,

Sorry of course I want to marry you. I was just more aware of the time restraints, as wedding’s can take years to plan.

Love me

I bet ‘mother’ has arranged everything, interfering old hag.

* * *

I walked along Wellington Street until I arrived at the bridal shop Henry’s mother had organised to meet me at. As I stood in front of the boutique I wanted to turn and run in response. It was a ghastly, over the top designer wedding dress shop. Goudy white mock pillars adorned the entrance. A line up of meringue style dresses lined the full length glass windows. The only thing that would keep me sane today is the company of Lucy and Alexis.

As I walked inside I was greeted by the pretentious ‘Susie’ as her name tag clearly displayed.

“Hi I’m Suzie, darhling, Henry and Vivienne said that you need a ready to wear dress for next month. Vivienne has whittled down her choices, if you got through to the changing room you can start trying them on.”

I walked through to the changing room, confused as to how ‘mother’ was picking out my wedding dress.

I slipped on the first dress. Slipped was to polite a word. It was in reality, rustle, squeeze and manoeuvre the twenty layers of tulle and organza over my slight frame. When I saw my reflection in the mirror I couldn’t contain myself. Laughter spilled from my lungs. I look absolutely ridiculous. 1980’s toilet roll cover, had nothing on this dress. All I needed was a poodle perm and I would be ready. It was huge, tacky and covered in little crystals, everywhere.

“Everything alright in there Evie?” I heard Lucy call, “What’s so funny?”

As I stepped out of the changing room into the viewing area a surge of laughter filled the room. Lex and Luce were quite literally in fits of gut wrenching laughter at the sight of me. I couldn’t help it but I surcame to their behaviour and started poking fun at the horrendous dress. ‘Mother’ was not impressed, she was clearly livid with our behaviour and Suzie, the shop keeper, seemed to share her thoughts.

“Why don’t you try on something else darhling.” Susie interjected, trying to diffuse the ridicule of laughter. I glanced through the rails of dresses. They were not me. They were not too far from hideous. I couldn’t bear to fight into another of these dresses.

I walked back into the changing room and pulled the layers of fabric from my skin as quickly as humanly possible. Slipping back into my clothes and walked out of the changing room.