L. Miller - Gilded Wings

“Vivienne, it was lovely to see you, but none of those dresses are quite ‘me’, I am going to take my bridesmaids and confer wedding plans over a light lunch with lots of alcohol. Do excuse us”.

Vivienne looked like she was ready to gouge my eyes out. Her mouth tight and eyes staring straight into me. I took the opportunity to swiftly walk out of the bridal boutique with Lex and Lucy running behind me giggling like mindless school girls.

“Where to bridesmaids?”

“Let’s go back to mine, I have a bottle of wine and we can order in Chinese, who needs light lunches”. With that we walked to my car and headed to Lex’s.

“Sooooo, and don’t say nothing, as that is not going to cut it. How the hell did Connor end up back at yours?”

I nearly choked on my chow mein, “What, how? How did you know? Nothing happened.” I hastily added.

“Evie, we know nothing happened, we know you aren’t like that but you sure did something to Connor. Travie said he came home in a foul mood. What’s up Evie, what happened?” Evie and Alexis both looked at me with excitement in their eyes. Bloody gossips.

“He escorted me home because he thought it wasn’t safe for me to go alone.”

A unanimous “aaahh” came surging from both of them.

“I said he might as well stay because he had was going to walk back home. In the spare room of course. Then I woke up screaming…”

“Another Dream?”

“Yeah, I was shaking and crying. Connor came running in and calmed me. He ran me a bath and then held me for the rest of the night so I could sleep. I felt so safe. When we woke I panicked and told him he had to go, he looked so upset”.

“He is Evie, he told Travie that he doesn’t know why but you have got to him and he just wanted to be there for you”.

Alexis understood why I pushed him away; she was four years younger than me and understood the need to push away help. She had done it to me for years after our mother’s death.

“He really likes you,” Luce added with a wink, her look exuded filthy, filthy thoughts.

“I am getting married in four weeks, to the man I have been with for three years. I cannot even entertain the idea of having a wild sordid affair, or even leaving him for that matter. For what? Who else would want me this fucked up? I have no job, no career and no family, except you of course Lex.” I added. “Without him I have nothing.” I whispered, “I am nothing.”

Luce was furious, anger steamed from her face. “Don’t you ever say that, don’t you see it, he has you where he wants you, no job, no career, who does that to someone? Huh! He is a spineless prick. You know it and I know it. I love you Evie but this man is unhealthy”.

I fell into flood of tears. “Look I have to marry him, he is all I know and he is a good man, please just support me and be there for me.”

Lucy stood up abruptly and grabbed her bag, “you better be damn sure you know what you’re doing Evie. If you marry him that is your choice. I will always be your friend and I will support you through it but I am telling you, know you’re wrong to do this”.

She stormed past us and walked out of Lex’s apartment slamming the door behind her.

Lex wrapped her arms around me, “It’s ok honey, I will always be here for you, both of us will, she is just worried for you. She doesn’t want you to be un-happy, neither of us do”.

“I know”. I let out a sigh. Deep down I knew Lucy was right. I just didn’t have the strength to leave. I suppose part of me was doing it for selfish reasons as I knew I would have nothing if I walked away. The worst part was I worried that no one would ever want me. Connor may have had feelings for me, but I was not prepared to lose my life on a whim.

* * *

It was dark when I pulled into our drive. I opened the front door walked through to the lounge and collapsed onto the sofa. I turned on my laptop.

To: Everline Cross

From: Henry Webber

22nd September 2012

9.10pm

Everline,

I have just spoken with mother and I am furious with the tone that you took with her in the bridal boutique. You talk to her with nothing but respect. Do not under any circumstances embarrass me or her like that again. I am warning you Everline.

Henry

Bollocks, this is why I shouldn’t get brave with Henry or Vivienne. I find the bond they share a little too intense but she is his mother and I have to learn to live with that. I have to pacify him, I was completely and utterly wrong for disrespecting his mother.

To: Henry Webber

From: Everline Cross

22nd September 2012

10.09pm

Sorry Henry, I am so so sorry, please forgive me. The dresses were simply not to my taste but I could of course have composed myself in a more respectful manner. I will make sure in future I am nothing but polite to your mother and will of course apologise to her for my outburst. Would it be possible if I could pick out my dress with my bridesmaids alone, it seems to be the only thing I can of course get to choose.

Yours

Evie

To: Everline Cross

From: Henry Webber

22nd September 2012

10.11pm

Yes, I will inform Mother.

Henry

The next week flew by in no time at all and I found myself wishing I had just a few more days left of being me. I spent my days creating in my studio or seeing Lex and Luce. Today I was unexpectedly excited. I was going to the new Jenny Packham boutique and their dresses depicted everything I loved about Wedding’s.

Focusing my energy on the wedding gave my life some sort of purpose for the moment so I was allowing myself to enjoy this momentary bliss. After apologising to Vivienne, Henry had allowed me to have more input towards the flower choice and table linens. It was so rewarding to have input into the finer details of our wedding.

* * *

I pulled up outside Lucy’s and beeped the horn. Lucy opened her door a kissed a half naked Travie goodbye. Lucy had a fabulous apartment in the on trend borough of Fulham. She had worked ridiculously hard have the luxury of owning it. Lucy ran her own Graphic design company, they were filled to the brim with corporate clientele begging to use her company’s services. She was the best in London and everyone knew it. She was featured in numerous magazines being the born and breed London business woman of the year. The best quality Lucy exuded was her humbleness. She was not start struck, pretentious or anything other than the girl I had known since school. The successes of her company lead her to having a studio full of designers ready to meet demand allowing her to spread her wings and fly for her twelve month Globe trotting expedition.

“Things are going well then”, I said as she climbed into the passenger seat.

“Mmmmhmmm, too well, I am wondering where the catch is”.

“I am sure there isn’t one”.

Travie was in an indie rock band, he was the lead vocal and had such a sensual raspy voice. We were going to one of his more intimate gigs tonight at The Scene. I was really excited to see them play. First thing was first though, Wedding dress.

* * *

The door was held open for us as we walked through the modern glass fronted building. I looked around the showroom full of beautifully hand crafted gowns.

“My name is Claire, how may I help you today?” The pretty assistant smiled over. She was warm and considerate and exuded confidence.

“I get married in three weeks and need a dress, is that going to be possible?”

“Although we cannot have a custom made dress for you ready in time we do have a few readymade ones which you can choose from. I am guessing you are a size eight?”

“Yes”, I was quite impressed with her observation.

“Can I ask your name?”

“Oh, of course, I’m Evie.”

“Thank you. Evie if you follow me into the changing rooms I will bring out the selection we have in a size eight for you”.

“Thank you”. Wow this was amazing.

Claire led me through the boutique and Lucy trailed behind me, we were both in awe of the chandeliers, pastel damask wallpaper and soft plush furnishings. Claire indicated to a velvet pink chair for Lucy to sit on.

“I won’t be a moment.”

Claire disappeared through the deep plum crushed velvet curtains which disguised a doorway at the back of the couture boutique. Less than two minutes later she had arrived with a selection of three beautifully detailed dresses. As she hung them on the silver rail above me my eyes clung to one dress in particular, it was perfect, it was me.

“Can I try this one on first?” I couldn’t quite shade the eagerness from my voice.

Claire smiled at my enthusiasm, reached over and unhooked it from the cream satin hanger. As I stepped into the centre of the dress Claire helped lift it up over my hips and across my bust. I turned to look in the mirror as she buttoned the tiny silk buttons on the back of the dress. I let out a relieved sigh. This was it, this was ‘the one’. I traced my hands over the soft beaded lace and across the finely finished sweetheart neckline. It was beautifully vintage in design and was everything I had ever imagined my wedding dress to be. I imagined myself walking down the aisle, my dress flowing behind me. Gazing outwards at all of the guests. Seeing their smiling faces. As I walk to the end of the aisle I would stop just inches away from my groom, Connor.