Perhaps I had caused this. Insecurity was compelling me to find reason for his desolate affair. Our sex life was near non-existent. Perhaps I did fuel his torrid fuck fest. Perhaps this was my fault. In a moment of utter stillness and dislocation from the world I allowed myself to grieve.

* * *

I awoke to the sound of the doorbell. I opened my eyes slowly as they gradually adjusted to take in my surroundings and realised I was still lying on the hallway floor. I clambered together standing in front of the huge mirror which hung from the ivory wall. Staring back at me was a broken mess of a person. My eyes were bloodshot. Dark rings circled them. My skin was pale and withdrawn. I had aged ten years in the last five hours.

“Evie, it’s me, I know you’re in there your car is on the drive, let me in.” Luce shouted out.

Shit. Not now. “Um, hang on, I’m um naked, I just ran down for some clothes”. I lied.

“Ok, just hurry your ass up otherwise I’ll be coming in naked or not”.

With one last brush of my hair I took in a deep breath and opened the door.

“Hey Luce, why are you here?”

She was beaming, “Well… I wanted to know what you are doing tonight?”

I knew this was going to be a trick question and would lead myself right into one of her ideas. “Nothing, why?”

“Well we are going out. Connor is having a fight and has asked us all to go, you wanna come?”

“I’m not sure Luce, I um, well Henry is back soon and I um”. Lucy interrupted me. She was never one to take any of my shit.

“You ARE coming to this fight, it will be fun, you know that thing that people do to be sociable and have a happy fulfilled life?”

“Well aren’t you just little Miss Sarcastic this afternoon”.

“You know me Evie, I just like to inform you of the facts”.

“Where is he fighting?”

“At Equinox. It’s meant to be a big deal fight. Connor has bagged us cage side seats, hell yeah, it’s gonna be epic Evie. I love a good fight”.

“You’re such a man at heart”, I couldn’t hold back my smile. Her enthusiasm always rubbed off on me. Of course it had nothing to do with Connor being there.

“That’s more like it. I like a fight and of course don’t mind ooogling the men fighting who happen to be impeccably toned, fit and sexy. Just a perk of the fight eh”. Lucy winked at me sending me into hysterical laughter.

“Ooogling? What kind of word is that!”

“It’s an ooogling kinda word, I’m just gonna grab my stuff from the car”.

“Stuff?”

Lucy glanced over her shoulder smiling at me.

She strolled in with a bag hitched over her shoulder and three shopping bags. “Well, I need stuff to get ready for tonight”.

“Just invite yourself over why don’t you!”

“I just have. Now where is the vino? Actually, don’t worry, I’ll find it”. Lucy headed into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of Bollinger, “This is all I could find?”

“Better crack it open then”.

She filled two large glasses to the rim, “You’re not trying to inhibilitate me are you Lucy Bertie?”

Pointing to her chest and dropping her hip she replied in a I’m-a-completely-innocent-girl voice. “Moi, never”.

She headed over to my stereo and clipped in her iPod. The sound of the black eyed peas filled the room. My eyes welled at the lyrics ‘no no no no, baby no no no no don’t lie’.

“Hey Luce can we change the song?”

“Yeah sure, what do you want on?” Her eyes looking at me quizzically.

“Something dancey? — We are getting ready for a night out and all”.

“That’s my girl. This any better?”

Jessie J’s voice sang through the speakers. Strong, Independent woman. That’s more like it.

* * *

“Come on Evie, the cab is waiting”.

I ran down the stairs and grabbed my clutch. Tonight we were going for the sexy yet casual look. I wore my khaki skinny jeans and a cream blouse which I had tucked into the waistband. I finished the look with a brown skinny belt and my nude stiletto pumps. I felt confident. Also very much looking forward to seeing Connor’s ripped physic all hot and sweaty. Mmmmhmm.

We pulled up to Equinox. The domed curve of the building against the night lit skyline was breathtaking. It was dove grey with strobe lighting crossing the starlit sky. The sound of the music from inside the building was intense. I could feel the vibration through my body. As we walked through the glass doors the size of the building became apparent. The ceilings were sky high and everywhere I looked bodies were packed tightly. This was unnerving. We clutched hands determined to make sure we arrive to the rest of the group together.

“Travie!” Lucy shouted. Her voice was lost in the noise of the room and the background music. Tugging my hand she walked us in the direction of the group. Travie was looking his usual rock some self. Lucy leaped onto him and wrapped her legs around his waist. He in turn wrapped his arms around her as they decided to publicly devour each other’s mouths.

“Hey Jake”.

“Hey Evie, looking hot baby girl.”

“Uh, thanks Jake, where is Lex?”

“She has just gone over to the reception to find out where to pick up our tickets from. Can’t get in without a ticket”.

“I thought Luce said Connor had sorted the tickets?”

“I have”. I instinctively jumped at the sound of his deep voice caressing those two words.

“Hey Connor”. Jake called over.

“Evie you made it”. Lex squealed hugging me, exuding her enthusiasm for my presence.

“Hello again Evie”. His eyes staring into mine intently. Why was I acting so irrational? He was a man. A very handsome, sexy, perfect man. But a man none the less. Why did my body want surcome to his ability to debilitate me? Jake and Travie are both attractive men and yet I can talk to them. Yet Connor, Connor manages to send my body into overdrive. My heart rate quickens. My body urges me to touch him. My mind wanders, wanting to taste him, to feel him inside of me. He makes my body yearn for him.

“Hi Connor, thank you for the tickets. I’m looking forward to seeing you fight”.

He smiled, “Fight?” He lent down and whispered into my ear, “I was hoping you would say you were looking forward to seeing me half naked, hot and sweaty”.

My mouth dropped open and my body tightened everywhere. He leaned up and I could see the smile creep across his lips.

“See you after the fight Evie, here are the tickets”. He handed me five tickets and placed a kiss on my cheek.

“Oh my God, he is so fucking sexy.”

“He’s ok I suppose Lex.”

“Ok huh? — I suppose you wouldn’t mind if I asked him out then?”

Shock covered my face, “Wha, um, oh I um… . suppose not”.

“Gottcha, you like him Evie, just admit it”.

Oh yes I really fucking fancy him. I want him to rip my clothes off and fuck me until we are both hot and dripping wet. I thought best and settled simply with, “I’m with Henry”.

Our seats were amazing. We were practically twelve feet away from the octagonal cage. The cage was in the centre of the arena and seats wrapped around it with each level of seating being higher than the last. The atmosphere was sensational. Adrenaline ran high throughout the crowd. Testosterone was apparent, men arguing and staking their claim over who will be the winning fighter in tonight’s match. I had never seen Connor fight before but instinct told me he would win. He had to. The thought of him bloodied and crippled with pain was unbearable.

The surrounding lights dipped. Shadows cast over the faces of the adoring crowds. Bright light centred solely highlighting focus to the ring. In it standing two men, ready to fight to gain supremacy.

Connor looked delectable. His bare chest glistened against the lighting of the arena. His face looked fiercely dark, standing opposite his opponent. Their bodies shifted slightly, edging between feet, like a preliminary warning threat to one another. Connors frame was bold, wide and toned, he was six foot precisely, or so the guide informed me. But even though Connor was tall and toned he stood a few inches shy of the giant that was in front of him. My heart skipped in fear at the thought of Connor having to battle his way to victory against this huge monster of a man. Jake noticed my worried glances altering between the giant and Connor.

“Connor will be more nimble and have speed on his side against that big brute.” He offered.

I was not too sure whether Jakes reassurances were honest or a tactic to subdue my fear.

“Oh okay, I suppose he needs something on his side, that guy is huge.”

The ref talked into the microphone, amplifying his voice slightly. His voice was muffled and his words became lost into the noise of the crowd. Connor and his opponent, Santos, tapped fists and walked backwards from one another. Standing themselves opposite one another at either end of the cage.

Both men psyching themselves up and trying to intimidate the other. Springing from foot to foot. Tiny jumps made to enhance their size and form. Connor was immensely focused on Santos. His eyes never breaking contact. Not once looking fearful of his competitors size.

The ref called fight and Connor and Santos began to edge in towards one another. Fists raised just below their chins, ready to swing in the right instance.

Santos edged closer, prepared to make his advance. Connor goaded him, stepping back slightly allowing Santos to creep forward toward him. Santos continued to dance around Connor. His arms raised and fists clenched in a position to shield his face. Connor’s arms had relaxed, lowered to waist height, his confidence radiated from him. A small smirk crossed his lips as he prepared to make his move. Connor lightly jabbed out, nowhere near close enough to touch Santos and with minimal effort to ensure his energy levels were sustained whilst he played with his prey.