Francine Rivers - Her Mother’s Hope

He stepped back. “I thought I should do something of use before asking a favor, Fräulein Schneider.”

“What favor?” She picked up the dishes.

“I must learn English. I understand enough to do my job, but not enough to carry on a conversation with the other boarders. Would you be willing to teach me? I would pay you for your time, of course.”

The thought of spending time with him pleased her greatly, though she hoped it didn’t show too much. “Of course, and you needn’t pay me. People helped me learn and asked nothing for it. When would you like to start?”

“This evening?”

“I’ll come to the parlor when I’ve finished the dishes.”

“I’ll be waiting.”

Marta stood in the kitchen doorway and watched him leave the room.

It took an hour to wash the pots, pans, and dishes and put everything away. She wondered if Niclas Waltert had given up and gone upstairs. She heard the men talking over cards as she came down the hall. When she entered the parlor, Niclas stood and set his book aside. When she came closer, she saw it was a Bible, with Niclas Bernhard Waltert engraved in gold on the black leather cover. “You are a religious man, Herr Waltert?”

He smiled slightly. “My father intended me for the church, but I learned early I was not suited to the life of a minister. Please.” He stretched out his hand, inviting her to sit. Marta realized he would not take his seat until she was comfortably settled in hers. No man had ever treated her so respectfully.

“How are you not suited?”

“A minister’s life belongs to his flock.”

“Our lives belong to God whether we’re in church or outside it, Herr Waltert, or so my mother taught me.”

“Some are called to greater sacrifice, and some things I was unwilling to give up.”

“Such as?”

“A wife, Fräulein, and children.”

Her heart raced. “It is a Catholic priest who can’t marry, not a Lutheran minister.”

“Yes, but the family forfeits for the sake of others.”

He fell silent. When she met his gaze, she was frightened by the feelings he stirred in her. Is this what Rosie felt when she looked at Arik? or what Lady Daisy felt for her Clive? Marta glanced away, lifted her chin, and looked back at him. “Shall we begin our lessons?”

“Anytime you wish, Fräulein.”

Marta found Niclas waiting for her in the parlor every evening after dinner. While the other Canadian bachelors played cards, she taught Niclas English.

“Mr. Waltert seems quite taken with you,” Carleen said one day while gathering the sheets for washing.

“He asked me to teach him English.”

She laughed as she piled the sheets in her arms. “Well, that was a handy excuse.”

“As soon as Herr Waltert learns enough to carry on a conversation, he’ll be playing cards with the other men.”

“Not if the way he looks at you tells me anything.”

“He doesn’t look at me in that way, Carleen.”

“You’re saying you don’t like him?”

Embarrassed, Marta gathered the rest of the sheets and stuffed them into a basket. “I like him as well as any of my other boarders.”

Carleen grinned. “You never blushed when Davy Michaelson looked at you.”

* * *

“I don’t have your gift of languages, Fräulein. I’m not sure I will ever learn.”

“No German, remember,” Marta insisted. “English only.”

“English is a difficult language.”

“Anything worth learning is difficult.”

“Why can’t we just talk in German for a while?”

“Because you won’t learn English that way.”

“I want… learn more… you,” Niclas said in faltering English.

Clearly frustrated, he switched to German. “I want to find out if we are suited to one another.”

He could not have said anything more shocking. She opened her mouth and closed it again.

“I can see I’ve surprised you. Let’s dispense with English for now so I can speak clearly. I want to court you.”

Marta raised her hands to cover her burning cheeks. Davy Michaelson looked toward them while the others spoke in low voices. Quickly regaining her composure, Marta lowered her hands and clenched them in her lap. “Why would a man like you want to court someone like me?”

Niclas looked astonished. “Why? Because you’re an extraordinary young woman. Because I admire you. Because…” His gaze caressed her face and drifted down over the rest of her in a way that made her body go hot all over. “I like everything I see and know about you.”

Was this what love did to a person? Turned her inside out and upside down? “I’m your landlord.”

His mouth tipped. “Do I have to move out to court you?”

“No.” She spoke so quickly she felt the heat flood her face. “I mean…” She couldn’t think of anything coherent to say.

“Will you attend church with me this Sunday, Marta?”

He had never used her given name before. Flustered, she let out a soft breath. “We’re in church together every week.”

His expression softened. “I go. You go. We don’t go together. I want you to walk with me. I want you to sit beside me.”

Feeling entirely too vulnerable, she looked for escape. She knew if she said no, he would never ask again. She would end up like Miss Millicent, living in regret for the rest of her life. Hadn’t she come to Canada on the slim chance she might find a suitable husband? Niclas Waltert was far more than suitable.

He searched her eyes. “What troubles you?”

That he would find her unworthy, that after a while he would see she wasn’t suitable at all. She hadn’t even gone to high school-and he was an engineer. He was handsome. She was plain. He was cultured. She was the daughter of a tailor.

She searched her mind frantically and blurted out the first excuse that came to mind. “I don’t even know how old you are.”

“Thirty-seven. Not too old for you, I hope.”

She stared at the pulse beating rapidly in his throat. “No. No, you aren’t too old.” When she raised her eyes, she saw light come into his as he smiled.

“Then you will come with me this Sunday? Ja?”

“Yes.” She gave a prim nod. She glanced at the mantel clock. “It’s getting late. I think we can dispense with our English lessons.”

Niclas stood and held out his hand. As she stood, her hand in his, she knew she would go anywhere with him, even a bedouin tent in the middle of the Sahara.

1913

Dear Rosie,

I am married!

I never thought anyone would want me, and certainly never a man like Niclas Bernhard Waltert. He came to Canada a year before I did and is an engineer for the Baldwin Locomotive Works. He is tall and very handsome.

We were married on Easter Sunday in the German Lutheran Church. I made a blue skirt to wear with my Sunday-best white shirtwaist. I saw no reason to waste money on a wedding gown I would never wear again. My boarders came, even Davy Michaelson, and some of the neighbors on Union Street and members of the congregation.

I thought I was happy when I bought my boardinghouse, but I have never been as truly happy as this. It makes me afraid sometimes. We only courted for three months. I know little about Niclas’s life in Germany or what brought him to Canada. But I dare not ask because there are things I have not told him. I haven’t told him I turned a whorehouse into a boardinghouse. I haven’t told him a woman was murdered in the bedroom we now share. Nor will he ever know I had a sister who committed suicide.

* * *

1914

Niclas never said much about his work, but Marta heard the other four men talk about layoffs and difficult times at the locomotive works. Niclas got up early every morning and went into the parlor to read his Bible. He said grace before everyone ate breakfast. He set his dish on the end of the table when he finished and left for work. When it neared time for him to come home, she would stand in the parlor and watch for him. He looked weary and unhappy when he walked up the street, but always had a bright smile when he found her waiting. After dinner, he would go into the parlor with the other men. While they played cards, he read his Bible. She would pause in the doorway before she went to bed. He always gave her a few minutes to change into her nightgown and slip between the covers before he joined her.

One night, he didn’t come until almost midnight. She lay awake in a fever of worry. She heard the whisper of his belt. He folded his clothes onto the chair before he came to bed. He slid his arm around her and pulled her back into the curve of his body. “I know you’re not asleep.”

“I see how unhappy you are.” She didn’t want to cry. “Are you sorry you married me, Niclas?”

“No.” He rolled her onto her back. “No! You’re the best thing in my life.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

“They’re closing the locomotive works.”

She felt a wave of relief. Combing her fingers through his hair, she drew his head down. “You’ll find another job.”

“Rumors of war keep coming, Marta. Kaiser Wilhelm keeps ratcheting up the German Imperial Navy to take naval supremacy from Britain. I’m German. That’s enough to rouse hostility right now.”

“Do you think there will be a war?”

“It won’t take much to start one, not with an arms race spreading over the continent. And now the political maneuverings of the Russians are turning the Kingdom of Serbia into a powder keg in Europe.”

As the days passed, she saw the toll the talk of war took on Niclas as he went out every day looking for work and came home with nothing but bad news.

She was afraid to tell him hers.

“You can help me with the boardinghouse.”

His eyes flashed in anger. “A man is supposed to support his wife! And what is there for me to do here? You have everything working like a finely tuned Swiss watch!”