Jessica Sankiewicz - If Only We

“It was rough working out the new routine at first, but it didn’t take long for us to get accustomed. The change of pace and lighter load made everything easier.” He is silent for a moment. “She may seem unyielding, but she is willing to meet you halfway if it makes sense.”

If she could find middle ground with my dad, I'm sure she and I can eventually. It feels nice to have an open dialogue going with somebody about this. “Thanks, Dad,” I say.

“You’re welcome, Adrienne.”

I head out as usual to go to Lyndsay’s on Monday. Only this time instead of staying the day over there, I load up my car with all my supplies—the sewing machine, the books, the material, and the thread. Why waste fuel and time to travel over there now that there's no need to hide it?

Lyndsay squeezes me tight before I leave. “It’s going to be weird not seeing you this week.”

“You barely saw me during the week anyway.”

“You know what I mean, dork.”

“Yes, I do.” I rest the side of my head against the door. “Am I kidding myself?”

“About what?”

“About this,” I say, holding up a bag of remnants. “I have barely gotten anywhere with this. How am I going to meet my mom halfway?”

She taps my chin with her fingertips. “Give it a little more time.”

“How much more time? I mean, how long will it take me to exhaust all my resources? What if this doesn’t work out?”

“What if it does?”

“No, what if it doesn’t? Look, I want to be optimistic but I also need to be realistic.”

She thinks for a few seconds before saying, “If it doesn’t, who cares?”

My eyes open wider. “‘Who cares?’” I repeat slowly.

She shrugs. “Yeah, who cares? You just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and do something else. I still don’t know what tomorrow is going to bring for me. Sure, I want to be a nurse but maybe ten years from now I’ll prefer to be behind a desk. At the very least, this is going to teach me a lot about the medical field, and those skills can help launch me into a number of other careers.”

I stare at her in disbelief. “Wow.”

“I know, right?” she says with a grin. “Mom and I were talking about my future and she started talking about her work experience. I pretty much knew the whole story already but I looked at it with new eyes and realized that the same applies to me. I’m just like her in many ways, and despite my worries, I can be just as strong as her and handle whatever life decides to hand me.” She appears relaxed as she tells me this. Like the weight of the world was lifted off her from one simple epiphany. It doesn’t mean everything is going to be perfect, it just means that her view of it is balanced.

It is truly inspirational.

I breathe a sigh of relief. “That’s a great way to view it.”

And that is exactly what I needed to hear.

* * *

I spend the rest of the day reorganizing my room. I rearrange the books on my shelves to move all the papers from my desk over. I find Coventry hiding behind where the papers were. I smile as I pick him up, then place the little kitty plush on my shelf next to my DVDs. I set the sewing machine on my desk and hook it up. After moving a few more things around, I have a nice little craft nook going in one corner of my room. I stand back and take it in for a moment.

“Whoa,” says a voice behind me. I turn and find Kaitlin standing in my doorway.

“Hey,” I say cheerfully. “I thought I’d bring it all back home instead of hiding out at Lyndsay’s again.”

She bounds to my bed and jumps on it. “What’s your next project going to be?”

“I won’t have enough money for what I need until next week.” There is an exquisite fabric I would like but it's quite expensive. The money from last week’s chores won't be enough. “But, I do have some bits and pieces I can use for something smaller. Like maybe…headbands.”

Kaitlin claps her hands together. “Cool.”

I grin. Her enthusiasm is contagious. “My thoughts exactly.” Just then, my phone rings. I glance down and see that it is Chevy. I flip it open. “Hey!”

“Hey! I just wanted to see how things were going.”

“It’s…okay. Mom’s still not talking to me.” My mom actually left the chore money on the counter in an envelope instead of handing it to me. It's the first time she has done that.

“That’s too bad. It is fresh though.”

“That’s what I keep reminding myself. How is your family?”

“All right. My dad is doing better but I have a feeling he fell off the wagon again.”

“Oh no.”

“I could be wrong though. It just felt like he was acting strange last night. Maybe it’s just because he’s craving it and getting edgy.”

“That could be it. It is a disease after all, not just a habit.”

“That’s what I keep reminding myself.” He sighs. “I’m glad I’ve got someone who understands.”

“Likewise.”

When we hang up, Kaitlin looks over at me. “Who was that?”

“Chevy. He wanted to see how I was doing.”

She tilts her head. “Really?” She draws the vowels in the word out.

“Yes, really,” I say with a chuckle.

“You like him.”

I blink twice. Is it that obvious? Maybe Kaitlin is just that smart. I cover my face with one hand and peek out. “You’re very observant.”

“Does he like you?”

I am sure the answer to that question is yes, based on the way he acts with me, but I still have my doubts. “I hope so.”

“I bet he does.”

“What makes you say that?”

“How could he not like you?”

I reach over and pull her in for the biggest hug I have ever given her.

I have become weary from making headbands. My eyes are beginning to cross and my patience is dwindling like the light from the sun as it sets. I keep wishing for it to be September so that I can go back to Hidden Treasures and see what kind of commission I got. I'd go there now just to see how things are going but I don’t want to jinx anything.

I talk to Chevy on the phone for a few minutes about it but he has to get back to work. I put my projects away for the day and find something else to occupy my mind. I go to the kitchen and make cupcakes with Kaitlin. After they cool, I start to frost them and Kaitlin goes to the living room to set up our next disc. A minute later, Kaitlin yells, “Somebody just pulled into the driveway!”

“They’re probably just turning around.”

“Nope, they’re getting out of the car.”

I set down the last cupcake and join her at the window. Sure enough, somebody is here.

And it’s Chevy.

I run to the door and open it up before he gets to it. “I thought you had to get back to work.”

He grins. “Well, I did but there really aren’t many jobs pressing at the moment, so I asked if I could leave early.”

“Why would you do that?” I narrow my eyes at him.

“To cheer up a friend,” he says, gesturing to me.

“I don’t need cheering up.”

“Yes, you do,” Kaitlin says from behind me. I turn to her and make a face.

“See? She agrees with me,” Chevy says with a smirk. “I just want to take you somewhere for a little bit.”

“I don’t want to leave Kaitlin alone.”

“Why not?” she asks. “I was home alone when you were at Lyndsay’s all summer.”

I start to say, “But—”

“Go ahead. I have a book I want to finish anyway.” I know what she's doing. She's attempting to act all innocent, but I know.

“I’d listen to her if I were you. She’s wise beyond her years.” Chevy winks at Kaitlin and she smiles bashfully.

“She is.” I smile at her, and then turn to Chevy. “Okay. Let’s go.”

He takes me to The Caffeine Café and tells me, “Get whatever you want. My treat.”

I can’t decide. He may say it's his treat but I'm not greedy. “I’ll just get a toffee iced coffee,” I finally say.

“Just get a…” He sighs. “I’m serious, get anything you want. Like…” He reaches over and grabs one of the giant brownies from the basket. “Do you want one of these?”

I purse my lips. “Maybe.”

He places it on the counter. “And how about one of these?” He points to the cookies.

“Maybe.” I chuckle a little.

He says to the girl behind the counter, “She’ll have one of each kind.”

“What?” I exclaim as I grab his arm. “You don’t need to get me all of this.”

He laughs. “Don’t worry, we’ll be sharing.”

His kindness hits me in a way it never has before. There's something different about the way he is treating me. I begin to wonder if something more is happening between us. I have been standing by, waiting for him to get to the point that he needs to. Letting him deal with the issues at home. Allowing him to get to know himself. Patiently waiting for the day when he finally tells me how he feels.

Has he reached that point?

After we sit down, I need to find out. “Why are you doing this?”

He stirs his coffee slowly and then looks up at me. “Because you have a lot on your mind that has been getting you down. I want to make it better.”

“You do?”

“It’s the chaos theory all over again.” He smirks and takes a bite out of the peanut butter cookie.

“So taking me out for coffee-flavored drinks and baked goods is supposed to make it better?” I ask, raising my eyebrows.

“If I’ve been taught anything, it’s that cookies and chocolate make everything better.”