“Alright.” He took my hand and guided me through the crowded room. I put on a pair of sunglasses as we entered the lobby, the lights too bright for my dilated eyes. The bus was deserted when we boarded. War’s mouth immediately descended, his tongue delving deep into mine while his hands groped my ass in a way that was just short of being painful. War was an aggressive lover, a trait I knew from experience was magnified whenever he was high.

He tossed his sunglasses aside, and walked me backward without breaking the kiss. My own shades slid through my fingers as he pushed the button to open the door to the sleeping section.

He hefted me up. “Wrap those beautiful legs around me, babe.”

I did as he asked, folding my legs around him as he stalked us to the back bedroom. He set me down on the window ledge and leaned back to look at me. My pink dress was hiked up around my hips, giving him an eyeful.

“Damn,” he whispered voice thick, eyes dark. “I need more of that mouth of yours.” He plunged his hands into my hair. My head banged against the cold glass as his warm lips covered my own.

My heart hammered against my ribs. I took in short shallow breaths through my nose as his tongue speared repeatedly, possessively into my mouth. Threading my fingers into his silky caramel locks, I scraped my nails against his scalp the way I remembered he’d always liked.

He groaned into my mouth breaking the embrace just long enough to reach back between his shoulder blades to tug off his shirt.

My eyes trailed over his lean smooth torso. He was just as sexy as he’d ever been, the irreverent black heart inked over the spot where his real heart lay. But my mind conjured up a vision of another.

“Gotta see you,” War growled as he pulled my head forward yanking down the zipper of the dress and unclasping my bra. Cold air hit my skin as both parted open. War peeled the dress down my shoulders and off my arms. As he stared at my bared breasts, my nipples tightened. “Feed me, baby.” His voice was low and demanding.

I cupped my breasts in my hands while he spread my legs wide enough to step between them. His fingers dug deep into my upper thighs. He rocked his arousal against me before lowering his head to trace my breasts with his tongue, in and around my splayed fingers.

I moaned and my head started to loll back when I heard a sound. I turned. Bryan was standing beside his bunk, his eyes dark and hooded as he returned my gaze. At first, my cheeks flushed with embarrassment. But then my eyes narrowed at him in defiance.

Go ahead and look. You might not have wanted me but War sure as hell does.

Bryan’s gaze slid to the side. “Shut the door next time, asshole,” he growled before leaning forward to slap his hand against the door switch.

“Sorry babe,” War’s lust glazed eyes went from the closed door and then back to me.

I dipped my head in acknowledgement but wasn’t interested at all after that. War didn’t seem to notice. When he was finished, he moved away and I was left feeling used and shaky inside. I climbed down from the window ledge and readjusted my dress.

They’re just looking to get laid.

“I’m going to get cleaned up,” I said softly, tiny tremors shaking my hands as I grabbed my toiletry bag from the tiny closet.

Oblivious to my distress, War grunted a response and flopped back on the bed with a magazine.

I padded out the door on tiptoes. King and Sager were laughing at something in the front lounge. I saw their faces glowing from the reflection of the television. Hopefully Bryan had already closed his curtain and gone to bed. I risked a peek at his bunk.

He was awake. His hands were clasped behind his head, his earbuds were in, and his piercing grey green eyes captured me in their glittering gaze.

I’d only thought he looked dangerous up on stage the other night. That was just an act. This was real. I could feel the dark energy radiating off him in waves. Anger, disappointment, and something else I couldn’t pinpoint flickered across his face, before his lids lowered and he shut me out.

Released, I shuffled into the tiny bathroom and locked myself inside. Free from his unsettling perusal, I leaned back against the door, and the breath that I’d been holding came out in a rush. I slid to the floor and put my hand over my mouth, trying not to be sick.

What was his problem? What right did he have to look at me like that? I shouldn’t let him get to me, but he did. It seemed I was always a hot tangled mess of emotions wherever he was concerned.

Damn him, I thought, turning on the shower. I should never have slept with him. I gambled and lost everything that night, including my closest friend. And having sex tonight with War while Bryan watched just brought the all too stark contrasts between the two men into sharp focus. The deep emotional connection, the heart melting tenderness, the intense pleasure I’d experienced in just the one night of lovemaking with Bryan was something I’d never come close to duplicating with War. And no matter how many times I reminded myself how badly hurt I’d been afterward or tried to convince myself that the passage of time had exaggerated the experience, it didn’t stop me from wanting to be with him again.

After a brief shower, I wrapped my kimono around myself and exited, relieved to see the curtain to Bryan’s bunk was closed. I reentered the bedroom and found War beside the nightstand, his belt to use as a tourniquet, a spoon, some cotton, a glass of water, and a couple of syringes lying on top of it like an illicit banquet.

My gaze met his.

“I know you said you were trying to cut back, babe. But it’s been a couple of days and I figured you might need a little something. It’s just a small dose. I know my heart’s still racing from the lines we did earlier.”

He was right. I’d never sleep tonight without it. This was who I was now. This was what I needed. Sinking down on the edge of the mattress, I nodded, held out my arm, and let him do me up.

9

The bus was parked when I finally rejoined the land of the living. War snored softly sprawled out on his stomach in the bed beside me. Sunlight seeped in through the heavily tinted windows. I sat up slowly, groggy and more than a little nauseated. I put my head in my hands, tears I swore never to shed burning behind my eyelids.

I was such a failure.

I couldn’t make it more than a few days without needing another hit.