Виктория Холт - Kirkland Revels

“I shall forbid her to see that … philanderer!” he said.

I did not answer; I had clasped my hands together and touched the ring which but a short time ago had seemed to have such a significance.

” Perhaps it would be useless to forbid her,” I suggested.

” She would have to obey me,” he retorted; and I saw the veins, prominent at his. temples. I had never known him so agitated before and that seemed to mark the depth of his affection for her. I warmed to him because such parental concern was exactly what I had so sadly missed during the absences of my real father.

“He is overbearing,” I said, and my own voice was very angry. ” I believe he would always find a way of getting what he wanted.”

” I am sorry,” said the doctor. ” I am forgetting you. You should be resting, I thought you had retired to do that. What made you come to the gallery?”

” I couldn’t sleep. ! was too excited, I suppose.”

” At least,” he said, ” this is a warning to us both.”

“What made you come to the gallery?” I asked-suddenly.

” I knew they were down there together.”

” I see. And you would frown on a match between them?”

“A match I He would not offer her marriage. The old lady has other plans for him. He’ll marry her choice and it won’t be my daughter. Besides … she is for Luke.”

” Is she? She did not seem to think so tonight.”

” Luke is devoted to her. If only they were older they would be married by now. It would be a tragedy if she were ruined by this…”

” You do not think very highly of his honour.”

“His honour! You have not been here long enough to know his reputation in the neighbourhood. But I am keeping you and it grows late. I shall be taking Damaris home immediately. Good night, Catherine.”

He took my hand. It was the one on which was the Redvers ring.

I went to my room. I was so upset that I forgot to lock my doors that night. But there were no midnight visitors, and I was alone with my emotions.

That night I learned the true nature of these emotions, and I blamed myself for allowing them to become so strong, disguised as they were by the semblance of dislike. I had been angry with him because I thought he did not esteem me enough. I had been hurt because I wanted that esteem.

That night I learned that hatred grows out of the strength of one’s own emotions; and that when a woman comes close to hating a man she should be watchful, for it means that her feelings are deeply engaged.

He is a cheat, I told myself, as I tried to shut out the echo of his voice talking to Damaris. He is a philanderer who amuses himself with any female who is handy. I happened to be at hand. What a fool I am.

And how we hate those who make us aware of our own folly. Hate and love. There are times when the two can run side by side.

I did not sleep well that night and it must have been nearly morning when I was awakened by Mary-Jane. It was dark and she was carrying a lighted candle.

“Mary-Jane!” I said.

“What is the time?”

” It’s six o’clock, madam.”

” But why … ?”

” I wanted to tell you yesterday, but with all the Christmas preparations I didn’t get a chance. I only found it yesterday. It was while we were getting the hall ready.”

I sat up in bed and cried: ” Mary-Jane, you have found the way out of the house?”

” I think so, madam. It is in the gallery … in the cupboard. There are two floorboards there with a gap between them, enough to get your fingers in. I thought there was something not usual about them so I put my fingers down and gripped one of the boards. It lifted up easy.

Then I saw the great black space below, so I got a candle and looked down. There are some stairs leading down. That’s all, madam. William was calling me then, so I let the board fall back and didn’t say anything . thinking I’d come straight to you to tell you. But then I had to go to the kitchens and help and I couldn’t get another chance, but I’ve been thinking about it all night. “

” Mary-Jane,” I said, ” we must look into this.”

” I thought you’d want to.”

” There’s no one up yet?”

” Only the servants, madam, and they’re not in this wing. They’ll be coming to do the hall in half an hour’s time though.”

” Well, we must move quickly,” I said. ” We’re going to have a look at those stairs now.”

” Shouldn’t you dress yourself first, madam?”

” No, I can’t wait,” I said. ” I’ll put on my cloak over my nightgown.”

So together Mary-Jane and I left my bedroom and quietly made our way to the minstrels’ gallery. I was afraid all the time that Luke would suddenly appear, but Mary-Jane was with me, and it would be difficult for him to do me any harm.

I was excited, for this was the proof I needed. The only person in this house whom I could trust was Mary-Jane, and we were together in this.

The house was very quiet, and for that reason even my slippered tread seemed noisy. But we reached the gallery and no one appeared.

Mary-Jane very gently shut the door, and I held the candle while she opened the cupboard and showed me the floorboards. She knelt and lifted one of these up and, as she had explained, it came up easily; evidently it had been cunningly made to act as a trapdoor.

I leaned over the aperture, holding the candle. I could see the flight of steps which she had told me about. I longed to go down there, but it would be necessary to take a short leap on to the top step and I dared not trust myself to do that.

But Mary-Jane was lithe and slim. I turned to her.

” You get through,” I said. ” And I’ll hand you the candle. Just look round and tell me what you see down there.”

She had turned a little pale, but she was the sort who would despise what she would call the gormless; and after that second’s hesitation she lowered herself through the aperture and when she was standing on the steps I handed her the candle.

She said: ” It seems like a big room down there. It’s very cold.”

“Just have a quick look round,” I ordered.

“Then we’D try to find the way in from the Abbey side.”

There was silence for a while. I peered down. I could see her gingerly descending the stairs, and sharply I warned her to be careful.

” Oh aye,” she assured me. ” I’m safe on me feet, madam.”

I heard her voice again when she had descended the steps. ” I can see a light in the distance. That must be the way out. I’ll just have a quick look.”

My heart was beating madly. I wanted to be down there with her, but I dared not risk slipping on those stone steps. I glanced over my shoulder. I could not rid myself of the feeling that someone was watching us. But there was no one there; there was no sound at all in that silent house.

I heard a sudden call from Mary-Jane. ” I’ve found some thing, madam.”

” I can’t see you now.” I called. ” Where are you?”

Her voice sounded faint. ” The candle nearly went out, madam.”

” Come back now, Mary-Jane. Bring what you’ve found if you can carry it.”

” But, madam …”

” Come back,” I said authoritatively.

Then I saw the candle again and breathed more freely.

Mary-Jane appeared on the steps; she was holding the candle in one hand and something under her arm. She handed the bundle up to me and I knew at once that it was I the monk’s robe. I took the candle from her and in a second or so Mary-Jane had scrambled through the aperture and was safe in the gallery.

” I was alarmed when you disappeared from sight.” I said.

” I wasn’t all that brave me self madam, down there, Qwf. me. the shivers.”

” Why, you are cold, Mary Jane

” It’s cold down there, madam. I found the robe though.”

” Let’s go along to my room. We don’t want anyone to find us here.”

We let down me floorboard of the cupboard and satisfied ourselves that it showed no signs of having been disturbed; and taking the robe with us we went back to my room.

When we were there Mary-Jane put the robe about her and I shuddered.

“Take it off,” I said.

“We must guard this. If anyone dare say that I’ve seen visions because my mind is disturbed, we can prove that it was not visions I saw.”

” Shouldn’t we tell someone? Shouldn’t we show them the robe?”

The day before I should have said: “Yes. We will tell Mr. Redvers.”

But I could no longer say that. I no longer trusted Simon, and if I could not trust Simon I trusted nobody.

” We will say nothing of this for the moment, Mary Jane t said. ” We have the evidence here. I will put it in my wardrobe and the door shall be locked so that no one can steal it. “

” And then, madam.”

I looked at the clock over the fireplace and saw that it was seven o’clock.

” You will be missed, if you stay here much longer. I will go back to bed. You will bring my breakfast in the ordinary way. I shall want very little to eat. Bring my hot water earlier. I want to think what I ought to do next.”

” Yes, madam,” she said.

And she left me.

Ruth came to my room to see how I was.

” You look exhausted,” she said. ” Yesterday was too much for you.”

” I do feel tired,” I admitted.

” I should stay in your room all day. I’ll keep them away. Then perhaps you’ll feel well enough to join us this evening There will only be the family; and Simon and Hagar will be leaving early to-morrow morning. The carriage always comes for them sharp at nine-thirty on the day after Boxing Day.”