Jeff walks into the room an hour later, looking like a cat that just swallowed a canary.

“Can’t believe you bailed on me. It’s so dangerous leaving such a delicious morsel alone with me.” He makes himself comfortable on my bed, propping himself up on one of my overstuffed pillows.

“Oh, don’t flatter yourself. He’s so not into you. He’s so straight it’s sickening. Have you seen the thousands of women he’s scored with? He’s been in so many magazine tabloids and on all those sleazy celebrity news shows. I bet he’s even lost count of how many women he’s had.”

Why am I so angry?

“I think you’re wrong. I think it’s the women who have scored. Being seen with the great Drew would boost anyone’s status. I find it hard to believe he’s slept with every woman he’s been seen with. He’s just doesn’t seem like that kind of guy.”

“How would you know? Have you interviewed all of them?”

“Why so much interest? Could he possibly be on your radar? Could he be the one who cures your lack of penis problem? Your one-night stand perhaps?” I want to wipe the smirk off his face, but he moves quickly and pulls me down onto the bed with him.

“You love me, I know you do. Why would it be so hard for you to give him a chance?”

“Because I want a one-night stand with a stranger or a long-term relationship with someone who will give me great sex, love, and not cheat on me. And Drew is definitely not either of those people to me. I don’t want a pretty man. I want a normal-looking man who won’t cause women to trip over their own feet when they see him. I’m such a failure.” I bury my head in my hands, shaking my head.

“I believe he has a thing for you, and you know I’m usually right about this stuff.”

“Oh, please. Me? Short, little, red-haired, plain old me? Give me a break. According to Henry, I’m supposed to help Drew, not hump him. I help, that’s what I do. That’s why I’m becoming a therapist, isn’t it?”

“There are plenty of ways to help someone, and dating him could be what he needs help with.”

“Sometimes I think you’re on drugs with the words that come out of your mouth. Why don’t you go put in Bridget Jones’s Diary so I can see someone having problems like me, even if she’s only a fictional character?”

“Okay, but in the end, she gets her man. You know that always pisses you off.” He pulls my hair back from my face and smacks a kiss on my cheek.

“I hate being so predictable.” I throw a pillow at his retreating back and then snuggle up with another one, waiting for the movie to start.

“I love you, Dora. Please love me back.”

Colin’s pleading eyes break me down and I throw my arms around him. I can’t believe he loves me. He moves down on the bed with my body wrapped up in his as our lips meet in a passionate embrace. His tongue slowly pries open my lips and moves in to mate with mine. I caress his shoulders, and I’m frustrated because I long to feel his naked skin. I move my hands in between us, unbuttoning his shirt until my fingertips graze his solid, smooth chest. His kiss deepens, and I move so he’s flush against me and I can feel every delicious inch of him. It’s hard, all of it.

He moves ever-so-slightly, and without breaking our kiss, he removes his shirt. I watch as his muscles flex when he pushes himself up, and I suddenly feel abandoned by the lack of his warm lips upon mine. I soon forget the loss as he moves to the side and reciprocates by unbuttoning me while our mouths lock once more. He slides down my zipper, exposing the hot pink panties underneath. I lift my hips so he can peel my pants down my legs, touching every inch of my exposed flesh as he goes. I bite my lip as he circles my navel, and then he leans down to replace his finger with his tongue. I rise off the bed as tendrils of fiery heat shoot throughout me. I move my restless legs as his fingers inch their way to the top of my hips and skim over my silky underwear, missing the spot I want him to touch, caress, or anything else he can think of. He moves to the end of the bed and stands up, keeping his smoldering eyes glued to mine. He unbuttons his jeans and pushes them down along with his underwear. I close my eyes as I feel the heat building up in me. I open them as he climbs back onto the bed, and I look up.

It’s not Colin, it’s Drew. I would recognize that penis anywhere.

My eyes meet his, and my heart begins to pound so hard I feel like my chest won’t be able to contain it. The last thing I see is his wicked smile as he moves up the bed to hover over me.

“Dora. Honey, wakey, wakey.”

“What? Oh, Jeff, it’s you.”

“Who else would it be? So, what you were dreaming about? You did a lot of moving and moaning. It’s like the other time—”

“Shush, shut it, quiet, and don’t speak.”

I throw off the cover and enter the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. The mirror shows a flushed face, one that looks like she’s been thoroughly caught up in a sex dream. Except there wasn’t any sex. At least I could have dreamed that. And what the hell? Again it starts out with Colin and when the deed is about to happen, it turns to Drew and his winking penis.

I’m losing my mind. Jeff will not let me live this down. He’ll tease me mercilessly at least for the next twenty-four hours.

“Dora, I need to pee. Like, really need to,” Jeff whines through the door.

I pull it open and avoid eye contact, moving into my closet and shutting the door. Juvenile, but I need more time to analyze my dream. It’s all Jeff’s fault, putting the idea into my head. Yes, that’s it. It’s not what I subconsciously want, it’s because he planted the seed and I allowed it to grow. It’s time I forget about anything sexual and just concentrate on graduating school and getting on with my life. I will only stay in the loft until I graduate, and then I’ll find another place.

Of course, I could always become a nun, and that would take care of a place to live and make it easier to forget about sex. Oh hell, I’m going to hell for that thought, and I’m sure Henry won’t be able to help me.

“Is there a reason you’re hiding in your closet?” Jeff asks through the door, “or is this some new thing you’re trying out? I want to go and hit the after Christmas sales, so hurry your cute little butt up and let’s go fight the hordes. We have money to spend.”

I quickly get dressed, and we’re out the door in roughly fifteen minutes. We have money to spend, and I’m good at that. Heck, I could use the distraction anyway.

19

New Year’s Eve is usually both a sad and happy time for me. Saying goodbye to the old year and starting out with a clean slate. New resolutions—okay, so technically not new … but the old ones I didn’t follow through on, redirected to the New Year. This year, I will stick with them until completion.

The first one is to lose the ten frickin’ pounds I gained this year. Okay, so it was the year before, but it’s a new resolution this year. Next, get grow a backbone and start telling people no. No to overtime, no to Sunday dinner when I don’t want to go, and no to boyfriends who cheat. Okay, so that’s a new one because last year I was still with The Jackass, and was completely oblivious to the fact he was cheating on me.

Another new resolution is to get financially sound so I can live by myself. So save, save, and save some more for me because I don’t want roommates. I want to live by myself just in case I find the perfect man, with a job, and who’s completely devoted to me, that I can have sex in every room without having to worry about being interrupted.

Colin and Liam are returning today, and except for the text Drew received on Christmas from Liam saying his family was relieved that he finally revealed his secret, we hadn’t heard much from either of them. As for Liam’s “secret,” it wasn’t a secret. Apparently, the whole town knew. They were waiting for him to tell them. I can’t wait to talk to him. He told Drew to tell me that he couldn’t wait to hug me when he gets back. Yeah, hug. For me, from Liam. Life is good.

Jeff is also waiting patiently—not—to see him again. I so hope there’s a connection on Liam’s part because I think Jeff really wants this to happen. Then, three of my best friends will be in committed relationships and I’ll be poor Dora who gets invited to things as an awkward third, fifth, or even seventh wheel. I can’t believe I’m a spinster at twenty-two. I guess there’s no hope for me. All I have to look forward to in the future romance department are probably a few one-night stands, but nothing more.

Great, now I’ve totally bummed myself out on a day that’s supposed to herald new beginnings. Out with the old and in with the new. Yeah, right. Whoever started this brilliant idea?

“What are you wearing to the party tonight?” Jeff asks, looking over his shoulder at me.

“I don’t want to go.”

“You can’t avoid it. After all, it’s going to be right here, so you kind of have to attend.” Jeff’s head swivels back to the football game he’s been watching.

“I still don’t have to go. I can just lock my door and no one will miss me.”

“Julie, Kevin, Drew, Colin, Liam, and me, we’ll miss you. So, get in that closet and find something hot and sexy,” he says, not bothering to turn around.

“Hot and sexy? The place will be filled with hot and sexy. I’ll just come as plain and boring. No one will notice.”

“Quit fishing for compliments. You know you’re beautiful, so quit feeling sorry for yourself. You can hang with those skinny sticks any old day.”

He won’t give up, so I guess I’d better find something to wear. There’s the little black dress, but I’ve worn that so many times. Nothing else seems New Yearish in my wardrobe.