“Cat.” Rosa looks genuinely upset. “That’s terrible. You’re really talented.”

“Which Demeter never noticed,” says Sarah, and squeezes my arm. “Bitch.”

“How is Demeter?” I ask, trying to sound casual.

“Oh my God, you don’t know.” A flicker of triumph runs over Sarah’s face. “She’s been fired!”

“No!” I clap a hand over my mouth with a gasp—and, actually, I am a bit shocked. Because of course she hasn’t been fired, not properly, not yet. But obviously the story is that she’s gone.

“I know!” Sarah flashes her little white teeth again. “Isn’t it great? Everything’s going to change. Rosa’s going to run the department, like she should have done in the first place.” She puts an arm round Rosa and gives her a hug.

“Well.” Rosa gives a modest shrug. “We don’t know that. I’ll be running it while they decide what to do.”

“And then they’ll give it to you!” insists Sarah. “You should always have got that job. There’ll be a completely different atmosphere in the department. No more bloody drama.”

“So, why was Demeter fired?” I ask warily.

“Try everything.” Sarah rolls her eyes. “You know what she’s like. Finally Adrian was like, OK, I get it. She’s a demented cow. She has to go.”

“Hey.” Rosa has been quiet, thinking hard. “Cat. Did you know that Flora’s leaving?”

“Really?” I say in surprise. “No, I had no idea. We kind of lost touch. Where’s she going?”

“Traveling. She’s leaving in a month. So…” She looks expectantly at me.

“So?”

“So, how do you feel about applying for her job?”

I feel a bolt of disbelief. Apply for Flora’s job?

“Oh yes!” Sarah exclaims in delight. “Perfect idea! What a good thing you walked in here, Cat!”

“It would be a better salary than you had before,” says Rosa. “I know you’re up to it, Cat. I’ve seen your work. And I’ll tell you something: I’m not like Demeter. I want to help people develop. You have a great future, you know that?”

There’s a weird kind of humming in my head. Nothing feels quite real. A job. A better salary. A great future. I mean, if Demeter didn’t get her job back…if Rosa did want me to work for her…I have to give myself the best chance in life, don’t I?

I’m squirming inside. I feel like an octopus tied up in knots, being pulled in different directions.

The barman has placed three glasses and a bottle of champagne on the bar, and Rosa pays for it, then turns to me.

“Come on,” she says. “Have a drink with us. We always go in that little back room. Flora’s there already.”

“We don’t always have champagne on Wednesdays,” adds Sarah, with a twinkle. “But, ding-dong, the witch is dead!”

In my pocket, my phone begins to buzz. It feels as if Demeter is nudging me, and instantly my brain snaps into place with a tweak of guilt. What have I been thinking? There aren’t two options here, there’s only one: Do the right thing. I blink at Sarah and Rosa, trying to get my ideas straight, trying to find a way into the conversation.

“You must have found it so difficult, working for Demeter!” I say to Sarah. “Did you ever feel like…I don’t know…getting revenge in any tiny way?”

Sarah gives me a clear blue look. “What do you mean?”

My stomach flips at her expression. Has she guessed? No. She couldn’t have done. But I need to prove I’m on her side, quick.

“Well, you’ll never believe it…” I try to sound natural and chatty. “But Demeter turned up at my family’s farm on holiday. And I got my own back on her for everything! Look!”

I wince inwardly as I reach for my phone. Demeter would really not be happy if she knew I was sharing a photo of her, all spread-eagled and muddy in the swamp. But, on the other hand, I can’t think of a better way of gaining Sarah’s trust.

“No!” exclaims Sarah as she sees it. “That’s priceless! We have to hear all about it! Will you send that picture to me?”

“Of course I will!” I answer lightly. Never in a million years.

“You’re quite something, Cat!” says Sarah, as Rosa grabs the phone to have a look. “We could have done with your help.” She puts an arm around me and gives me a swift hug.

“Let’s go,” says Rosa, and motions to me to pick up the glasses. “Grab another one of those. Flora will be waiting.”

—

It’s one of those pubs with little rooms and passages and steps everywhere. We head down a shabby corridor painted dark red, with old prints of London views lining the walls. Then at the end Rosa opens a door into a small bare-boarded room with squashy sofas and bookshelves holding old paperbacks.

“Wooo!” Flora greets Rosa with a whoop and a fist pump. “Champagne! About bloody right!”

“And look who we found in the bar?” says Sarah, gesturing at me.

“Cat!” Flora squeals, and zooms over to wrap me in a hug. “I’ve missed you! This is so cool!”

“Ding-dong, the witch is dead!” exclaims Sarah again, popping open the bottle of champagne. “At last!”

“Here’s to that,” says Flora fervently.

“And look what Cat has been getting up to!” Sarah grabs my phone and shows Flora the picture of Demeter in the mud. “You didn’t tell me you’d recruited a country branch of DA!”

“Oh my God.” Flora’s eyes widen, and she bursts into peals of laughter. “Oh my God! Cat, you’re a genius!”

“DA?” I echo lightly. “What’s that?”

“DA,” says Sarah, sounding puzzled. “You know.”

“Cat never knew,” says Flora, handing me a champagne glass.

“You never knew?” Sarah looks astonished. “But Flora said you were in.”

“Of course Cat was in!” says Flora impatiently. “She was totally in. Only I never told her exactly what was going on.” She turns to me. “And then you got the push. That evil cow. Have you been OK? You haven’t replied to my texts!”

“I’ve been fine, really. So…what exactly has been going on? What’s DA?”

I meet Sarah’s eyes and I can see her guard has dropped with me.

“Demeter Anonymous, of course,” she says with a laugh. “We share our terrible Demeter stories and help one another.”

“What did you think we were doing every Wednesday?” Flora gulps her champagne. “Honestly, we’ve needed this; otherwise we’d go insane.”

“The worst time was when she made Sarah cook those gross Chinese herbs.” Rosa screws up her nose. “D’you remember? The smell. I think that was before your time, Cat.”

“No!” Flora bats the air, her mouth full of champagne, then swallows and turns to me. “Dyeing the roots!”

“Oh my God, the roots.” Sarah claps a hand over her mouth.

“The roots!” Rosa explodes. “I’d forgotten about the roots. Cat, you win! Worst Demeter story ever.” She clinks her glass against mine and I grin back as widely as I can, even though my mind is working frenetically. While Rosa is refreshing glasses, I take out my phone as though to check for texts, press RECORD, and slip the phone back into my pocket.

“So what happened?” I say innocently. “How did Demeter get herself fired?”

All three of them exchange conspiratorial, triumphant looks.

“Go on,” says Flora to Sarah. “Tell her. Sarah’s brilliant,” she adds to me. “She got Demeter fired.” Flora clinks her glass against Sarah’s. “Sarah’s the star.”

“It was all of us,” rejoins Sarah modestly. “It was teamwork. And it’s been a long time coming. Hasn’t it, Rosa?”

“Too long,” says Rosa wryly.

“Wow!” I open my eyes wide. “But how on earth could you…I mean, what happened? I think I heard about some muddle with Allersons….”

“Sarah’s so clever,” says Flora proudly. “She sent Demeter all this wrong information so she wouldn’t pursue the project. And then she made sure the Allersons people never got to speak to Demeter on the phone; otherwise it would have come out. See? Brilliant.”

“I sent them the wrong mobile number.” Sarah gives me an angelic smile. “And I always answer Demeter’s phone in the office, so. It was easy.”

“But the way you juggled all the emails,” says Rosa. “I still don’t know how you did that.”

“Oh, Demeter’s such a technological shambles,” says Sarah. “It’s pathetically easy to fool her.” There’s such a contemptuous flick to her voice that I’m quite shocked.

“Sending The Email to Forest Food, though,” says Flora. “That was genius.”

“Well, it was in her drafts folder,” says Sarah, with a wicked little grin. “I just helped it along.”

“D’you remember that, Cat?” Flora turns to me. “The Email?”

“Just about!” I force a grin back. “So what actually happened?”

“Well, Demeter typed out this furious email—you know, letting off steam—and put it in ‘Drafts.’ So Sarah went to her computer and pressed SEND.” Flora collapses into giggles. “It took, like, ten seconds. Demeter never even questioned whether she’d sent it or not.”

“Always know what’s in your boss’s drafts folder,” says Sarah, with that one-cornered smile I remember.

I try to smile back—but I’m remembering Demeter’s face at the time of The Email. Her white, panicky desperation. And here they all are, assuming that she doesn’t have any feelings at all, toasting her misery in champagne.

They’ve turned her into a monster. I think they have literally forgotten that she’s a human being.

“And did you mess with her calendar?” I say, forcing another bright smile. “Because she used to get so confused….”

“Oh, all the time!” Sarah picks up her phone and imitates Demeter, right down to the swivelly-eyed look. “Shit. Shit. I know that meeting was on Friday…how has this happened? How has this happened?”