“You’re kidding?”

“No, read it for yourself.” I handed her the note.

As she read, I opened the box and fumbled through the books Bob had left me. There were a few old paperbacks I didn’t recognize and then I got to Possession and The English Patient and A Room with a View. Perhaps it was a whisper.

When Christina was through reading, she folded the paper and handed it back to me. “I didn’t expect that.”

“Right?”

She pulled me along into the building and said, “Come on, let’s thank him and pay our respects.”

We took a familiar path. “Where are we going?” I started to get a very strange feeling.

“It’s just around this corner.” Soon, we were facing the spot where Rose’s placard finally had been placed.

I looked up to the wall. Gleaming two rows above was a placard with the name ROBERT CONNOR and the dates of his birth and recent death. Bob and Rose were on the same wall. Another whisper. It was a coincidence, but it brought back so much emotion. The dream with Rose flashed through my mind, as well as Bob’s words. Those two lonely souls were reaching out to me in death and urging me to open my heart. I put my hand over Rose’s name and then reached up with my other arm and touched Bob’s placard. “Take care of each other,” I said very quietly.

“I’ve got to go, Kate.” Christina had been silent while we stood there facing the wall.

I turned toward her. “Thank you so much for holding on to this. It means a lot that he wanted to share his feelings with me. I only wish I could show him my gratitude now.”

“You can—by taking his advice.” She pointed to the note.

“Yeah.” I smiled sincerely, but taking his advice at this point would open up the wound all over again.

Walking to the L, I held my head up and let the cold wind chafe my face. I needed, more than anything, to make a concerted effort to put things behind me and look forward. If I let myself be open to another relationship, I had to get over Jamie completely. Step one in that process would be addressing the suitcase.

I entered the open door of Jerry’s office at the Chicago Crier. “Hey, kid.” He removed his bifocals and stood up from behind his desk. “What do you say we get sandwiches and hit up Millennium Park?”

“It’s freezing out.”

“All right. Shedd Aquarium, then?” Clearly, Jerry needed a distraction, which wasn’t usually hard for him. Maybe he knew I needed one, too.

“That sounds good.”

“Should we pick up sushi and freak out all the animals?”

“No, that’s terrible.” He was such a kid at heart, albeit a weird one, but a kid through and through. “Let’s get grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup from Ma’s.”

“Comfort food it is.”

I slurped my soup from the bench facing the dolphin aquarium. “Did you know dolphins have sex for pleasure?” Jerry said through a mouth full of grilled cheese.

“Yeah, I’ve heard that.”

“They’re the only animals besides people that do it for pleasure. Do you think they’re capable of love, too?”

I huffed. “Do we have to talk about this?”

“I was just wondering what you thought.”

“Well, I guess you would have to define love for me to answer that question.”

He popped the last of his sandwich into his mouth and looked around contemplatively while he chewed. “Love is a thing that you can’t take out of you. Once it’s there, it doesn’t go away, no matter what. Love can morph into hate and resentment, but it will always be there, buried under the bad feelings.”

“Hmm, very poetic, Jerry, but I think love is just a feeling.”

“That’s lust. That’s why dolphins have sex.”

I choked on my soup. “You’re funny.”

“I’m serious. Love isn’t just a feeling, otherwise it would come and go much easier.”

“I guess what I had with Jamie was lust.”

“Maybe so.” He continued looking forward but elbowed me in the arm. “I guess that’s why it’s been so easy for you both to let go, huh?”

I faced him with a scrutinizing look. “Do you think I’m being unreasonable?”

“Yeah, I do. Not just to Jamie, but to yourself, too.”

“He lied to me.”

“He tried to tell you.”

“How do you know?”

“Well, he’s called me about three hundred times since your little article faux pas.”

“About what?”

“Lots of different things. He wanted me to know that he was sorry for hurting you. He also wanted to make sure that you were okay, since you haven’t returned any of his calls.” I shrugged. “You know, Kate, I find him fascinating. Who would have thought young Ryan Lawson would grow up to be this kind of person? He was such a geeky kid. He’s still brilliant, don’t get me wrong, but he’s really a guy’s guy, you know?”

“Maybe you should date him, Jerry.”

“I’m surprised, that’s all. I don’t think any of us would have suspected Jamie. I should have given you more time to research before I sent you out there.”

“Maybe. Probably. They definitely didn’t expect that Jamie and I would . . .”

“Fall in love?”

I face-planted into both of my hands and leaned over my knees. “I was going to say hook up. Enough with the love stuff.”

He stood and brushed the crumbs from his clothes, seemingly unaffected by my dramatics. “You’ll figure it out, kid.”

Jerry drove me back to the office, where I collected my suitcase. I wheeled it past the closest L station, which was closed due to construction. I let myself absorb the cold again. I glanced at my watch. It was four thirty. I had a little time to get back to my apartment before I would have to disappear again so Dylan and Ashley could have their date. I was thoroughly freezing when I reached the second closest L station. I waited at the platform with the toes of my shoes peeking over the yellow line. It was starting to get dark out. I heard the train coming, so I leaned out to look down the track. To my absolute joy and wonder, pink lights were reflecting onto the shiny tracks just before the train came into view. Even though I had never seen it before, I knew, as if it were the absolute truth of the world, that the holiday train was coming my way.

I started giggling uncontrollably. Some schmuck next to me in a beige trench coat said, “Dammit, the holiday train again. This is the second time this week for me. The damn thing is slower than molasses.”

“Oh, bah humbug, you asshole!” I wheeled my suitcase over his polished dress shoes and began running down the length of the train to where I could see an open train car. On the outside of each car were painted twinkle lights and holiday scenes. The sounds of “(It Must’ve Been Ol’) Santa Claus” by Harry Connick Jr. started pumping through the speakers. I was running past the lights, smiling exuberantly, like I was in a Hallmark Christmas movie, about to be reunited with my love. Seasons Greetings flashed in bright white lights on the last car before I reached Santa’s sled.

Just as I got to the end, a transit worker jumped down from the train and the lights and music went off. “What’s going on?”

“She’s broken down. That’s it for the holiday train tonight.”

“What?” My voice was at its highest pitch, piercing the silence. The rest of the train riders were walking past me to the stairs to exit the platform.

“You have to be kidding me!” I shouted.

“I’m sorry, honey, we’re having some trouble on the tracks. You’ll have to catch her the next time around. Maybe tomorrow when she’s up and running. We have engineers working on her right now, but we got to let Santa have a break.”

I looked back at Santa’s sled and he was already gone.

“I can’t believe it,” I kept saying. “I’ve waited years for this, years!” Fucking bullshit.

I walked all the way back to my apartment, cursing at the sky and rolling my suitcase behind me. I spotted a large Dumpster in a dark alley near my building. To hell with it. I took the box that Just Bob had given me out of my suitcase. I lifted my five-hundred-dollar luggage into the air and heaved it over the Dumpster wall with surprising ease and then headed toward my apartment without looking back. I freshened up and headed out with Just Bob’s copy of A Room with a View.

There was an old café on the corner of my street called the Living Room. It was one of those coffee houses with big cozy armchairs and the smell of roasting beans wafting through the air. Before I reached the door, I could hear Miles Davis coming from the outdoor speaker. It was “Someday My Prince Will Come.”

Ha! I laughed out loud as I entered the café. Several people looked up from their newspapers and laptops. Smiling really widely, I pointed up and shook my finger at the speaker. “Love this!” I saw a few smiles before everyone went back to their business. I plopped into a giant purple chair with an ottoman and kicked my feet up.

“Can I get you a coffee?” a waitress asked, hovering over me.

“A cappuccino, please.”

“You got it.”

Minutes later, she brought my coffee back. I wrapped my hands around the warm mug and took a sip. It was divine. Closing my eyes and inhaling, I took another sip and said, “Mmm,” very quietly.

“You enjoying that?” A man’s voice. I opened my eyes to see a young guy in an identical armchair across the table.

I coughed, clearing my throat. “Yes.” He was good-looking in a preppy way. He reminded me of Kevin McDonald, my first boyfriend in high school who taught me how to drive. I smiled.

“Whatcha reading?” he asked, nodding toward the book on my lap.

“A Room with a View.”