Eagerly she double-clicked it. She gasped when she realised it was a massively long letter from Harry Noble. She scrolled down all of it, her eyes frantically scanning odd phrases here and there. We got on well at first. You are terrifying. Matt Jenkins knows ...

She didn't know what to read first. With a supreme effort of self-control, she scrolled to the beginning and began to read.


To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Sorry

Jasmin

Don't panic. This is not a begging letter. I can't quite believe I tried what I tried on Saturday and I'm really sorry for both of us that I did it.

Excuse the e-mail, but I just felt I had to have my say and I couldn't think of a better way to talk to you without risking a broken jaw. I actually got this idea from Darcy, when he wrote a letter to Elizabeth. Remember? (Some say I take on the roles I play too wholeheartedly. But I don't think Darcy's such a bad example to follow, do you?)

The truth is, Jasmin, you laid some rather serious accusations at my door and I can't help but want to put the record straight. I hope none of what I tell you hurts you but I'm sorry if it does.

First things first, your accusation that I lied out of pure malice and ruined William Whitby's Hollywood career. If it were true, that would have been a completely outrageous thing to do. But I didn't lie. I hate to be the one to break the bad news to you, but William Whitby is not what he appears to be. And I should know.

A long time ago now, I was in a production of Waiting for Godot with William. We got on well at first. He's a good actor and - as I'm sure you know - he has a very endearing way with him. My younger sister agreed with me. You probably know Carrie, she's the costume designer with us and she's been to a couple of rehearsals. Long red hair? Very quiet? Well anyway, within a few weeks they were going out together and she was completely besotted with him. I was really happy for her, as she's shy and a lot of men don't even notice she's there.

For a while everything was fine. Then at one rehearsal I noticed she was wearing shades. When I asked her why, she acted really suspiciously. I knew something was up but didn't want to pursue it. Carrie can be very stubborn. It wasn't until two months later when I was giving her a lift back from a family do that I found out. She told me that whenever William got drunk - which was pretty often - he became violent. He had hit her several times. I couldn't believe it. He seemed so genuinely kind. When I expressed doubt at her word, she almost got hysterical. If I didn't believe her, how would anyone else? I tried to convince her to stop going out with him but she wouldn't. She told me he was always so sorry afterwards and so gentle and loving. It actually seemed to make her feel more special and between you and me, I think it made her feel she was involved in a very passionate affair. She'd always wanted passion in her life and now she was getting it.

I was distraught. They kept going out with each other all the way through the rehearsals and even the production. I detested him by now but he was always a real pro with me. I assumed he had no idea she'd told me. But not so. When I alluded to it once in conversation - sick to the pit of my stomach at his chummy act with me - he actually winked at me and said (I'll never forget it): "Sometimes it's the only way to get some peace and quiet."

He seemed to take offence when I stopped going to the pub with him, but apart from that you'd never have guessed from him that there was any tension between us. I watched him with my sister and I could see that he fed off her insecurity. Carrie's never been hugely secure - I guess it's part of being from a largely acting family and choosing not to be an actress. She thinks everyone's disappointed in her which couldn't be further from the truth. But her weakness was his strength.

Even worse, whenever Carrie wasn't needed at rehearsal, William would flirt outrageously with the props woman, who obviously had a crush on him. I think they even went out a couple of times - who knows what went on? By now I thoroughly despised the man. I didn't know what to do. Should I tell Carrie that he might be having a fling with someone else -which would break her heart, and anyway she probably wouldn't believe me - or should I watch him going on abusing my sister?

The problem was solved when I got a phone call from her in the middle of the night. She was almost hysterical; I could hardly understand what she was saying. I went round there immediately and discovered her lying in a pool of blood. I phoned for an ambulance and she was rushed into an emergency operation. Four hours later, a doctor came out and told me the baby had died and Carrie would probably never be able to have any more children. You can imagine how I felt. I'd had no idea she was even pregnant. I was by her bed when she woke up and she immediately broke down and confessed everything to me. When she'd told William that she was pregnant, he'd gone out, got drunk, come home and, in a drunken rage -during which he accused her of trying to trap him - he punched her in the stomach and then walked out on her. Even then she needed some persuading to break it off with him.

I had to enlist the help of Matt Jenkins. He was working as producer on the play and I ended up turning to him for some support. It was he who convinced me to talk to the director, Alan Mellis, who got rid of William as soon as he had found a replacement. And it was Matt who finally convinced Carrie to finish with William. Maybe she found him more neutral than me. Matt was wonderful - he still is. He visited Carrie in hospital and saw everything. If you think I would - or could - make up a story like this, please talk to him.

He knows that I've told you this. We're very close and I'd trust him with my life.

When the Hollywood agent Howard Fleaback asked me what I thought of William, I told him the truth. What William doesn't know is that I also told him that he's a fine actor. And I really believe that. He is acting all the time.

It might seem odd to you that I would give him a part in another play. It is odd. I regret it bitterly, but Carrie convinced me to do it. She has undergone lengthy therapy since finishing with William and for some strange reason she now feels she needs to see him to get him out of her system. Otherwise she's always hearing about him through other actors and it makes her feel he's somehow got a hold over her.  At first I was very dubious about this, but it seems to be working. She told me last week that she can't now understand what she saw in him, which as you can imagine, was a massive relief to me.

I've been watching him too, and saw with no great surprise that he immediately picked you out as a favourite. I desperately wanted to warn you - not just for my own selfish reasons but for your own safety. However, it soon became obvious to me that you wouldn't be such an easy target as my sister was. And I think it soon became obvious to William too. Maybe you've noticed that he hasn't been troubling himself to get seriously involved with you, despite the meaningless flirting. I think it's because he can see that you've got too big a personality to be controlled like Carrie and so I suppose you've lost much of your appeal for him. Thank God! And he's right - you would never let yourself be beaten by a man. I now know from personal experience that in a one-to-one, you can be terrifying.

And now for your second accusation - that I have single-handedly broken your sister's heart.

How can I put this without hurting you? I'm not sure I can. Anyway, here goes.

Before I met your sister, I had heard about her. I know lots of actors and - how can I put this delicately?  your sister had, at one time or another, known most of them too.

In fact, I don't know of any play she's ever been in when she's not got involved with a fellow actor. I'm not judging or blaming, it's just a fact. There are actors who are just like that. And in all fairness, exactly the same can be said of Jack. He can't go to an audition without falling passionately in love with whoever playing opposite him. I suppose you could say they're two of a kind. Jack is always on at me to guide him and show him how to focus himself in his work - he's much more ambitious than he appears -and I want to help him. I love Jack like a brother. So I told him: Stop the womanising. His career could be fantastic if he would only apply himself. There will be lots of important casting agents in the audience for this production. If Jack is emotionally or physically drained and totally unfocused (like he is in most of his performances), he will get overlooked yet again.

Believe me, he has the potential to be great and I find it bloody frustrating that he wastes his time on one-minute wonders. And from watching your sister with him, that is all I thought she was.

And, in fairness, that's all I thought he was to her. You've got to admit, she's hardly been swooning hopelessly around him, has she?

I suppose you know your sister better than I do so I can only say I'm sorry if I've been instrumental in hurting her. But if she's anything like Jack, she'll be up and bouncing again in no time. You know what actors are like. The minute they are cast to fall in love with someone else, they just can't help themselves. Maybe they just love having a script to work to. Believe me, I've seen it many times before.

So that's it. I just wanted to set the record straight. I would appreciate it if you delete this message. Some of your less principled colleagues might find some value in what I've written.