“Mom can get a job as a teacher, we hope, and Dad is gonna try to get on down at the co-op. He knows people there. But it’s like, most of the jobs don’t pay well.”

“It’s a good thing Will went to college instead of staying home to take over the farm,” I whisper, and Rory nods.

“This is all the more reason for me to go,” Rory says. “My dad doesn’t have a degree, so he doesn’t have many job opportunities, not like my mom does. I mean, Mr. Goodwin would probably hire my dad but it would embarrass him bad…”

I grasp his hand. “I’m here for you. It’ll be okay.”

He nods with a sad smile.

“Now let me see that query letter.”

* * *

Later that night, I’m still thinking about what would happen if someone else in my family got sick and I had no money to help them to get better. Before Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer, we didn’t have health insurance.

I’ve been basing everything on working as an exercise rider or a jockey. I thought this was the ticket to finding a better life. But what if the opportunity to be one dries up? I fell off Star after he got spooked by those raccoons, even though I was being safe as can be. The Goodwins wouldn’t let me race at Keeneland. I love riding horses, but even horsemen don’t bet all their money on one race.

I find that out firsthand when I eavesdrop on Cindy telling Dad, Paula, and Yvonne what she overheard while serving dinner to the Goodwins.

“Mr. Goodwin told the family that Mr. Winchester didn’t accept his initial bid on Paradise Park, and if he wants to stay in the running, he’s gonna have to come up with another million dollars.”

A million dollars!

“Was it because of Master Jack not liking George Winchester’s daughter?” Yvonne asks.

“No,” Cindy replies. “Someone else bid more money apparently.”

Then why did Mr. Winchester blabber on and on about honor and family? It all came down to money?

I wrap my arms around myself, hating that Jack gave up what we had to help his father. Hearing that the Paradise Park deal is all about cold, hard cash makes me feel cold and hard all over. Mr. Whitfield thought he didn’t have to go to college because his farm had existed for over a hundred years. What if, in forty years, I’m dirt poor and living in a shack because I put all my chips in horseracing?

* * *

Monday morning, Jack isn’t in first period Life Lessons—he must’ve decided to skip, but I see him in the hallway after. He’s standing with Kelsey Painter, talking quietly to her. She’s rubbing his elbow and he seems upset. When he glances up and sees me, he turns and goes the other way. Kelsey gives me a questioning look, as if she’s trying to figure me out. That’s when she walks up.

“Is he okay?” I ask, staring past her.

She clutches her books against her chest. “You really care about him, huh?”

“I did.” I still do, but I’m not gonna admit that to her.

“That sucks,” she says. She doesn’t sound bitchy or anything; she sounds sad. Is she in Rory’s drama class or something? Because she’s a good actress.

“He really likes you,” Kelsey says.

“Did he tell you that?”

“No…he’s my friend…I can just tell. You should give him another chance.” She looks down the hallway toward where Jack just disappeared. “If I could go back in time, I’d fight harder to keep someone who was important to me—”

She suddenly turns and walks down the hall, meeting up with Colton and Vanessa before heading into English class. What was that all about? Am I supposed to feel sorry for the most popular girl at school? It’s crazy that she feels insecure at her level.

I decide to skip second period and go to the guidance counselor’s office. I swallow as I push open the door, walk up to the assistant, and ask to see Miss Brady about college options. I take a seat and doodle pictures of horses and horseshoes in my notebook as I wait.

Twenty minutes later, she invites me into her office. Along with the inspirational posters, she has loads of pictures of cats wearing clothes…?

I shudder, not sure what freaks me out more: CONFIDENCE or a kitten wearing a plaid beret and matching vest.

“Savannah Barrow?” she says, opening a file folder as she sits down behind her desk. I take the seat in front of her and grasp my knees.

“Why are you interested in college?” she asks, chewing on a pen.

For a lot of reasons, I think. To have lots of paths to choose from. To have the ability to back out of something if it’s not quite what I want. Two roads diverged in a yellow wood…and I want to take the one less traveled by.

But what I tell her is: “It’s something I have to do.”

She looks at my file, twisting a lock of her hair. “Your grades aren’t bad, but I’m not sure if you’ll have much of an opportunity for scholarships…maybe we could look into some grants and federal aid. And you need to take the SAT or the ACT.”

Miss Brady passes me a pamphlet and I open it.

“These tests cost money,” I say slowly.

“Everything costs money.”

I clear my throat, thumbing through the pamphlet.

“Depending on your family’s income, we could apply for a fee waiver so you could take the ACT for free.”

“Okay,” I reply quietly, and we go silent for several moments.

“I encourage all kids to go to college, but if you wanted to take a year off or go to community college, you could do that too. Although one time, I read a statistic that said 80 percent of people who don’t go to college right after high school never go. They never find the time.”

I glance down at the Coca Cola T-shirt I bought at a yard sale. Think about my background. All of it is part of me that has led me to now, to this point. Miss Brady is right. If I don’t go now, I’ll never go.

I pull a deep breath. “I want to try,” I say, making the guidance counselor smile.

“Great! What do you want to study?”

The creeptastic motivational posters intimidate me. “I have no idea.”

“And that’s totally okay.”

She spends ten minutes loading me up with more pamphlets and handouts so I can learn about the different state and community colleges in Tennessee.

“Come back and see me next week,” Miss Brady says.

If I want anything in life, I need to take it one step at a time. And if I want to pay for these college application fees or tuition, then I need to do something for me. It might hurt what I can give my baby sister in the near term, but it could help us all in the future.

I walk out into the hallway where I find Jack sipping from the water fountain. He wipes the water from his lips and faces me. Looks down at the papers in my hand. A smile begins to stretch across his face. I return the smile and walk toward the gym.

Before PE, I meet up with Vanessa at her locker, and right then, Rory approaches us.

“Vanessa,” he says breathlessly. “I have an important question for you.”

But before she can react, music rings out in the hallway and random kids start dancing to Lady Gaga’s “Telephone.” It’s all choreographed. Wait. Are these kids from Rory’s drama class? Is this a flash mob?

Vanessa and I burst out giggling as the students keep dancing and then Rory joins in, holding up a sign asking Vanessa if she wants to go to Homecoming.

“Yes!” she says, and they start kissing, and the flash mob keeps grinding away around us. Colton whistles and Kelsey cheers, looking happy. Jack gazes over at me and grins, and I can’t help but smile back.

“Woooo!” I yell, cupping my mouth, my voice ringing out through the corridor.

After school, Vanessa gives me a lift home from school, and we totally take over the Hillcrest common room to eat candy, read magazines, and gossip. Ethan—Jodi’s son—has a friend over, and they keep peeking around the corner at us. Preteen pervs.

Vanessa bites into a Twizzler and turns the page in her magazine. “I was thinking a dress like this one.” She points at a short blue wispy thing.

“I love that! For Homecoming?”

“Yeah.” She flips the page and points at a white dress. “You should get something like this.”

“I like it…”

“Are you going with Alex? Did you invite him yet?”

I shake my head. “I might…there’s a big race that day in New Orleans at Fair Grounds. Gael has been saying that Jack might enter Star…but I’m not even sure if I’ll get to ride him.”

Vanessa pats my hand. “Don’t give up, okay? You know you can ride—it was just muddy before that race and Jack wanted to keep you safe. He told me so himself.”

I nod slowly, feeling heat spread across my cheeks. I’m kind of embarrassed how bratty I acted that day. I must’ve been channeling Star.

“If you decide to go to Homecoming, you and Alex should ride with me and Rory,” Vanessa says, and we dive into a discussion about the guys, talking about how far we’ve gone with them. “I only slept with Rory that one time after his brother’s wedding. We want to take things slower, you know?”

“I get that.”

“Have you done anything with Alex yet?”

“We’ve kissed…” The big difference between our situations is that I can tell how much she loves Rory already, and I haven’t felt that way about Alex yet. Maybe it just takes time?

Vanessa talks about how she and Rory were fooling around in his truck in the Whitfields’ garage, and his father caught them and made Rory go clean the manure collector again. “I think Rory thought it was worth it though.” She laughs, and Ethan and his friend gasp from the hallway.

“Get out of here, you little perverts!” I yell, throwing a couch pillow at the boys. Vanessa and I collapse onto the floor in a fit of giggles.