Pulling away, “I might let you watch next time.” I smirked patting his broad chest as I turned to the door.

It didn’t take, but a minute for Cruz to be seen in the diner. Many guys coming up to him, shaking his hand and doing that man hug thing. He didn’t introduce me, which either meant he didn’t want anyone to know who I was, or I was insignificant. I was hoping it wasn’t the latter.

Instead of Cruz taking his seat across from me in the booth, he pulled himself right in beside me, pushing me all the way against the wall with his broad body. “You know you can sit on the other side,” I said, wiggling to make room.

“Then I couldn’t do this…” Cruz leaned down placing the sweetest, softest kiss on my lips causing my insides to flutter.

“What can I getcha?” I heard the waitress’s voice, but couldn’t pull myself out of the shock of the gentleness that I just witnessed. This rough man, who has shown me this hard, demanding side of him, has an unbelievably soft side, too, who’d have known.

A sharp squeeze of my hand sent pain through my arm causing me to snap out of it. “What?”

Cruz chuckled, “What do you want to eat, Baby?”

Shit. Shaking my head, I smiled at the waitress, but it instantly fell. Her eyes were totally focused on Cruz sending a surge of fire throughout me. As if sensing it, Cruz’s hand came up under my chin, pulling me towards his face. My eyes locked on his just as he placed another kiss on my lips.

“Order what ya want.” He winked.

Without looking back at her, I ordered, as did Cruz, sending her away. “You don’t like her looking at me, Babe?”

I didn’t give him the satisfaction of an answer, because I didn’t fully understand it myself. “So, you were in the Marines?”

His body stiffened, “Yep.”

“You don’t like talking about it?” I asked as the waitress placed our drinks on the table, and I reached for mine.

“Nah…”

I knew better than anyone about not wanting to talk about shit. So I changed the subject. “Why’d you join Ravage?”

A smirk claimed the corner of his mouth. “I realized this is where I belong. This is my family.”

His answer was utterly diplomatic and really didn’t give me a lot to go on, but deep down I understood. The brotherhood wasn’t something that most men talked about. Even if I grew up here and knew the life, he steered away.

“Do you have a family outside of Ravage?”

“Nah, Mom died when I got out of the service. She was all I had.”

“Didn’t know your dad?” I instantly regretted the question when his voice spoke.

“He left when I was young. Loved some other woman; crushed my mom. It wasn’t pretty.”

My insides churned for this man. I couldn’t imagine Pops ever leaving me, abandoning me. He’s taught me so much throughout the years. Reaching over, I clasped his hand and squeezed as his eyes locked on mine. As I tried to release him, he held tighter, and I began to relax into him. He absently began rubbing circles with this thumb, sending shocks throughout my body with each swipe. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. It’s who I am, but enough about me. What about you?” I didn’t know what to say. These past two years, all I did was survive. What do I say to that question? He must have sensed my apprehension. “Growing up.”

“This has been my life. Hanging out at the clubhouse, and the brothers are really all I’ve known. They’ve taught me how to be me.”

“Must have been weird growing up around all those guys.”

“No. Not actually. They were all Pops’ brothers, and they treated me very well. I always respected them, and they did me.” Not saying they didn’t try to fuck me as I got older, but I thought I’d leave that part out.

“You ever want to get away from here?”

His question caught me off guard, but I answered immediately. “No. This is my home. You wanna tell me about Mel?” I asked, really not wanting to know, but thinking I should.

“No. She’s inconsequential.” There were questions there, but I could tell the subject was closed. “You wanna tell me about your time inside?”

No. I didn’t, but I would. “Boring. Same shit different day. I kept to myself as much as possible. My only goal was to get out alive.”

“Understandable. Heard you had your own space.”

“Yeah. Pops and Diamond worked something out, and I owe them.” I did. I knew it. That’s why when they asked me to take care of a couple of things for them I didn’t balk one bit.

He didn’t respond. As I looked around the diner, eyes were focused on us. It was the same as it was when I was out with Pops and G.T. The Ravage patch held great honor and respect around here, not to mention curiosity. They all probably wanted to know everything that was Cruz’s life. The thought made me snicker because no one would ask… not that they would be told anyway.

As our food came, and we settled into small conversation, I felt happy, something I hadn’t felt in a long time.

* * *

From going to sleep on a mattress that felt like a board in prison, to being wrapped up in Cruz’s arms in a soft bed, was a huge change. I’ve had to admit his arms were beginning to be one of my favorite places to be. Prison was so stark, and Cruz was colorful and bright… life.

“You gonna tell me your real name?” I asked him, running my fingers up and down his washboard abs to chest and back again.

“Cruz,” he answered lying there with is arm resting over his eyes.

“Okay, Cruz what?”

Removing his arm, he looked down at me. “Donavan Cruz, but no one calls me that except for the cops. I love to ride, so Cruz stuck.”

“Donavan, huh? I’m gonna start calling you that.”

“Bull-fucking-shit you are. It’s Cruz. That’s it. Got it?” I nodded, hiding my smile. Since I grew up in the club, I never called any of the brothers by their real name. My brother G.T. has been called that since he was a baby. No one ever uses his real name, except when I’m really pissed. I might throw it out there a couple of times to get under his skin. It’s the same as my name. No one calls me Harlow around here, even though I think it’s a pretty kick ass name. I’m always Princess.

“Got it. How about Stud? Can I call you that?” I smirked, looking up into his blue eyes that engulf me every time; my head rested on his chest.

“Babe, you can call me that whenever you damn well want.” I smiled, climbing up to him, kissing him on the lips.

Yawning, I mumbled, “I’m beat.” I curled up alongside Cruz as he absently began rubbing circles on my shoulder as I drifted off to sleep.

* * *

No… I don’t want to… it hurts. I wanted to whine, but I knew better. It wouldn’t help what was about to happen. ‘Shut the fuck up. You want this you dirty little whore.’ He pushed my stomach down onto the hard bed as my arms tried to pull myself up; he pushed harder, his fat beer belly pushing the small of my back. ‘I know you need what I’ve got. Lay there and take it… or fight. I don’t give a shit which you choose.’ Everything in me wanted to fight, wanted to put this asshole on his ass, but I knew I couldn’t do it. I knew I needed what he had for me. I had to do it for the brothers. As he tore into me, I cringed from the pain, biting down on my lip so hard I tasted blood. He was never gentle, but he always brought lube. I think it was more for him than for me. ‘You fucking little whore. Doing this for daddy, huh?’ Every time he came to me, he repeated those same fucking words. And the sad thing was they were true. My body was on fire as each time he thrust into me; it would tear me more and more… I couldn’t breathe… I was suffocating…


“Princess!” My name being called startled me awake. As I turned to the voice, Cruz was sitting up on the bed towering over me as if he’d been working really hard at something. “Are you okay?”

I rubbed my eyes trying to wake myself up. “Yeah. Why?”

He rubbed his hands over my face. I could feel the sweat as he glided his fingers across. Fuck. The dream. Everything came flooding back, but there was no way in hell I was talking to Cruz about it. Not for a single fucking second. “Really. I’m okay.”

“You were mumbling and thrashing your arms around. It didn’t feel like nothing.”

“Really. I’m good. I just need sleep.” I didn’t know how, but by pure luck he let it go, wrapping me in his arms and kissing the top of my head. “I’m just really tired.”

“You will tell me what that shit was about.” His voice was firm and absolute, but I wouldn’t be telling him. Ever.

* * *

“Cooper!” I called looking for the little guy. One thing I would fully admit was that little man warms my heart in ways I never thought possible. The more time I spent with him, the more I wanted to spend time with him.

“Pin… ess!” I hear before I saw him as he barreled down the hall, Ma following close behind.

“Hey, Buddy.” Picking him up, I squeezed him in my arms. “You ready to go outside?”

“Yes!” He jumped in my arms excitedly.

“Hey Ma, he okay for ya?” When I needed to go to X, Ma would watch Cooper when Cruz couldn’t, and lately, that’s been quite a bit, club business and all. Ma’s been a life-saver. I admit, becoming an instant caretaker, has been a bit of a challenge. But it’s one that I actually didn’t mind.

“Yeah. I gotta get back to the shop.” Her brilliant smile appeared as she took off out the clubhouse doors.

“Thanks…” Squeezing Cooper, we went outside to enjoy the day. The guys built this whole playground contraption that would make old Ronald blush. It had slides, swings, monkey bars, a small clubhouse, teeter totter, rock climbing wall, tire swing, and so much more. It also had a huge sandbox with lots of big trucks and toy motorcycles, of course. This was Cooper’s favorite place, and who could blame him, it was a toddler’s dream.