Everything is exactly the same as when Bam died, the limo, the brothers and sisters behind it, and all the chapter members behind them, making one endless stream of bikes. I breathe in deep, I can do this and I will.

The limo comes to a stop and I clutch my tissues in my hand, willing myself to get out. “It’s time.” G.T.’s deep voice bounces off the walls of the car. I nod pulling the door open. The warm air caresses my skin as I turn to look at all the bikes. I breathe in and out deep to stop the tears, but the ache in my heart is so strong, I fear it will bring me down.

Heat envelops my back and I inhale G.T. as his hand rests on my shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze. The kindness is almost too much to bear, but I take it, even if for a moment.

I spot Harlow right away. She parks her bike along with the rest of the club, grabs Cruz’s hand and makes her way to the limo. She eyes her brother behind me and I can feel the daggers in her penetrating stare. “You alright?”

I cough to clear the lump in my throat. “Yeah.”

“Come on.” She grabs my hand pulling it with her and Cruz. I keep my eyes straight not wanting to turn around and see G.T. standing there.

The service is long, which is to be expected and standing this entire time is beginning to wear on me. I glance over at G.T. who is only about ten feet from me, his head is bowed down and I want to go over and wrap my arms around him. Love just doesn’t disappear when you’re pissed at someone. It’s always on the forefront. Always looming.

And I know that Shaina’s words cut him deep.

I lace my hands together in front of me and stare at the man talking in front of this massive group. He’s the same man who talked at my father’s; when his eyes find mine he gives a slight nod in recognition. I let my head fall to my chest and don’t bother to stop the tears from trailing down my face. Thoughts of Bam, Mia and Diamond, swirl so fast in my head that everything begins to get hazy.

I register a hand on my arm, but it doesn’t stop the spinning in my head. “Casey,” is whispered in my ear but I can’t answer. My mouth is dry like I haven’t drunk anything for days. My body begins to feel light. “Casey.” The words are stronger now, but I still can’t answer. I feel the water leaking from my eyes, but none of it matters.

“Cruz, something’s wrong.” I hear. Harlow and I want to answer her and tell her I’m alright, but the words won’t come out. My knees buckle and slam into the dirt, but I don’t feel any pain. I only feel numb.


G.T..


Standing here, I feel a huge weight on my shoulders pushing me down to the ground. Shaina’s words still bounce around in my head. Deep down, I know I did everything I could to protect Diamond at that moment, but I can’t stop the guilt of not saving him.

I look to my left at the beautiful blonde standing next to my sister. I’m so fucking pissed, she didn’t tell me about the baby. I want to be rational and tell her I understand, but I can’t and it’s because of her. The thought of my child growing inside of her flips all these damn feelings inside and I like it, a lot.

I said some pretty shitty things to her. I knew she’d never abort the baby, but I said it anyway. I knew the baby was mine, I never had a doubt. But my damn anger kept shit falling out of my mouth.

Turning back to the ground, I stare at the same blade of grass and think about my life. I love my club. I will protect it and the people in it. She’s what’s missing. Casey my Angel. She is who I need.

A commotion from my left catches my eye. Harlow and Cruz are reaching out to grab a collapsing Casey, but they aren’t fast enough, her knees crash to the ground. My legs move quick, pushing my way through the crowd.

“What the fuck happened?” I growl at my sister who is helping Cruz get Casey up to a chair.

“Shit. I don’t know. She just started swaying back and forth. I called her name, but she didn’t respond and then went down for the count. I tried to catch her.” She bends down climbing in between Casey’s legs. Casey’s eyes are open, but they are glazed over. “Casey? Answer me dammit.” Harlow yells, snapping her fingers in front of her.

“It’s too much for her. Cruz, pick her up.” He does so and I sit in the chair as he places her in my lap. “It’s fine. Please continue on.” I grip Angel as tight as I can; her body lying limp across mine.

After the service is over, I announce, “I’m taking her back to the limo. We’ll ride in the processional back, and then I’m putting her to bed.” I try to rise from the chair, but my grip on Angel isn’t good with one arm. “Cruz, fucking help me.” Anger surges through me that I can’t fucking pick up my girl, but it’s not the place or time for this shit.

“You got it.” Cruz lifts her effortlessly and I can’t help the small bit of envy.

“Take care of her.” Princess says as she grabs my arm tight.

I look down at my sister, “Always.” A smile adorns her face as she lets go.

The ride back to the clubhouse is quiet. Angel’s head rests on my lap and her eyes have now shut. I don’t believe for a minute she is sleeping though and when she speaks, I know she’s been awake the whole time. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make a spectacle.”

My hand sweeps in and out of her hair, feeling the silkiness brush through my fingers. “You didn’t. I knew it was too much for you. I should have been by your side.”

“You don’t need to be anywhere you don’t want to be.”

“You’re always where I want to be, darlin.’”

“I’m so sorry. I should have told you.” I swipe my thumb across the tear that escapes the corner of her eye.

“Yeah, you should have and I shouldn’t have lied about shit either. We both fucked up.” She opens her eyes and stares at me, the lines around her eyes laced with worry. “It’s gonna be alright.”

“You don’t know that. I don’t think it will ever be alright.” No, I didn’t but I’d do my damnedest to make it that way.

“We’ll get through it together.” Her eyes widened and she gaped. When she tries to move, I lock her down with my arm. “Stay.”

Her body stays down, but the tension inside of it is strung tight. “You don’t mean that.” She sighs and looks away.

“Look at me.” Her eyes slowly come to mine. “I was angry when I said that shit. I didn’t mean it. You’re my girl, Angel. You’ve been for a long fucking time and I’m done with all this other bull shit. From this moment on, we figure this shit out together. Got me?”

She stares at me and blinks her eyes. “Are you able to forgive me for not telling you about Mia sooner?”

I can’t lie. “I want to, but right now it’s too raw. We gotta work through that shit. And it’s the same with you and what I did. But Angel, this time I’m not walking away, I’m not making up some bullshit excuse, and I’m not giving you up. You’re with me; the rest of it will find its way.”

“You really believe that?”

“Fuck yeah. I lost you once, it won’t happen again.” Angel’s body shivered

We were the first ones in the clubhouse as I pull Angel through to my room. After slowly taking her clothes off and putting her into one of my t-shirts, I lay her down on the bed and cover her up. I kick off my shoes and pants, climbing in behind her. “Sleep.” I tell her and brush her hair softly until her breathing evens out.

I slide slowly out of bed. I don’t want to leave her, but there is a big party in Diamond’s honor that I can’t miss.


Casey 

Waking up with a start, I quickly look around the room. G.T.’s. I sigh and feel the sheets next to me, they are ice cold. He’s more than likely at the party for Diamond and that’s where he should be. I get up and get my purse off the desk. I open it pulling out three black and white pictures. The only pictures I have of Mia and look at each one, each only a small peanut on the paper.

“I love you, baby girl.” I whisper, but this time I don’t feel the twinge of tears that threaten every time I’ve look at them. Instead, a smile graces my lips remembering the feeling of having her grow inside of me.

The door opens and I jump. I look into the blue eyes of the man who has captivated me for most of my life. “You scared me.” I say quietly.

“Whatcha got there?” He points to my hands.

“Pictures of Mia.” His face twists as he steps closer.

“Can I see them?”

I smile. “Of course.” I hand them to him, his eyes graze the paper.

“She’s a little peanut.” I chuckle.

“That’s what I called her.” He hands the pictures back to me and sits on the bed. “What are we doing here?”

“Not exactly sure, never done it before. But I meant what I said in the limo, I’m not letting you go.”

My body pulsates with his words. So long I’ve waited to hear them. “I’m supposed to leave tomorrow.” I say quietly.

“I know, but you can’t. It’s too dangerous. Not right now. I know how important school is to you. We’ll get you set up with shit online or something. You will graduate, I promise you that, but you can’t be up there by yourself.”

“I don’t want to go back.” I whisper. “It’s where Mia was. That apartment is where I lost her.”

“Come here.” His arm splays open and I wrap my arms around his waist and hold on.

“Then you don’t go back.” He says matter-of-factly.

“I wish everything could be that simple.”

“Look at me.” I raise my head resting my chin on his hard chest. “It is that simple. We will figure out a way for you to get your degree and keep you safe. And because I’m selfish, keep you here with me.”

I smile up at him. “Selfish, huh?”

“Damn right.” I lift up on my tiptoes and bring my lips directly in line with his. His breath hitches and my hands snake down his thighs. “You want this?” he growls.