“I’m going to talk to someone. I think you should too.” I say wanting to suggest it but not step over bounds.

“Princess said the same thing. I’m not sure what to do right now. I’ll figure it out though. You do not worry about me. The only thing I ask of you is that you keep in touch with me. I need to know that you are okay.”

I am stunned by her words. If anything, I thought she’d want to hightail it away from the club and never look back. Not want to keep in contact with me and certainly not to make sure that I am okay. If anything it should be me voicing my worry for her. “Of course. But you have to do the same.”

“Absolutely. I’m going to go to my mom’s cabin for a while. It’s quiet up there and I need time to figure this out.”

“You sure being alone is a good thing?”

“For me. Yes.”

I nod my head trying to understand, but I’m not her and I don’t make choices for others.

“Keep in touch. Okay?”

“Okay.” I rise from the chair and hug her tight. A small bit of weight lifts off of my shoulders but worry still encases me. I hope the doctor will be able to help.

* * *

“How’d it go, Angel?” G.T. asks as we walk out of Dr. Anderson’s office. He wanted to come inside with me, but I needed to do it on my own. To be honest, I’m glad I did. Dr. Anderson is a slender woman with dark brown hair that is cut in a pixie cut. She has the glasses that scream doctor. But what I really like about her is when I walked in, she oozed comfort. There is something about her that makes me feel like I can talk to her and open up.

I surely didn’t think that would happen, but with her it did. And boy did I open up to her.

“It went well.” I smile. “She’s easy to talk to and I like her.”

“I’m glad you’re seeing a woman.” Like I didn’t already know this. Not only did I choose a woman for myself, I did it for him as well. I’m not stupid. “You want to talk about it?”

“I feel good G.T. I’m ready to move.” I say excited for the first time since it happened.

“Me too. Let’s get you home.” He smiles putting his hand on the small of my back and pressing me into my car.

For the first time in a while, warmth creeps through my body. Home. Something I haven’t felt in a long time. Now, I’ll have a home with G.T. Now if I can just shake all the rest.

* * *

“That’s the last of it.” G.T. says dropping the box to the ground with a thud.

“Thank you.” I say looking around at the space that G.T. wants to make ours. The term bachelor pad doesn’t seem right, but it’s the only thing that comes to mind. When we walked in, the house was so damn musty that it suffocated me until G.T. opened some windows and got the funk out.

Food boxes, beer bottles and clothes were strewn throughout the place and I did a quick clean just to move around. Furniture wise, there isn’t much, couch, chair and huge TV. I’ll need to pull some things out of storage soon.

The bedroom is the same, barren, with a bed and dresser. The first thing I did is grab the sheets and bedding and strip them off. G.T. laughed as I went straight out to the trash and chucked them into the can. I do not want to know who or what has been on those sheets and it will be the first order of business to get a new bed. If this is our new life, I’m not doing it on a bed that God knows what happened in.

“Angel, let’s go get a bed and some other shit you want. I want you to make this your place. But none of that pink shit.” He smirks and I damn well know that if I find a damn pink pillow, he’d suck it up and have it, at least for a while.

“Please. I want a place to sleep tonight.” I joke and he laughs.

* * *

After shopping and dinner, we lug everything back into the house and I mean lug about ten bags of new, clean things. The bed is being delivered in one hour and I’m tired. Really really tired. Sleep hasn’t been good for me these past few nights.

I yawn and lay on the couch, a feeling of calm washes over me. The sounds here are soft and I find myself relaxing. I fall into a deep sleep.

My eyes flutter open as G.T. picks me up and carries me in his strong arms down the hallway. I look in the bedroom we just walked into. The bed showed up while I was sleeping and G.T. made it with the new sheets we bought. “You set it up?” I whisper surprised.

“Anything for you, Angel. Sleep.” He lays me down softly pulling the blankets up over my body. The bed dips down and G.T. climbs in behind me wrapping his arms around me. I snuggle into his warmth, feel the soft sheets and close my eyes for the most peaceful rest I’ve had in a long time.


G.T.


I watch my Angel sleep, her breathing slow and deep. I’d do anything to take away her pain. I’d gladly put it on my shoulders and carry it for her. But unfortunately I can’t, and it makes me feel so damn helpless.

It kills me that she couldn’t talk to me about what happened to her. Like I’d ever think less of her if he actually did touch her. But who knows what the hell goes on in a woman’s head. I’m just glad that this doctor is someone she feels that she can talk to. I shouldn’t be hurt that it’s not me, but fuck I can’t help that shit. All I do know for sure is I’m glad she picked a woman to talk to. It was hard enough waiting for her to get through her session. If I’d had to wait while she was in with another man behind closed doors, I would have lost my shit.

I keep in the back of my head all the time to be careful with her. I will not push her. I will show her every damn day that I want her and will always find her beautiful no matter how she feels about what happened.

The memories of that day are etched into my brain and I’d do anything to bleach them out. There are nights that I wake up with a jolt, visions of her hanging by her arms, but I mask that shit quickly, not wanting to scare my girl. She’s been doing so damn good. She’s so fucking strong and I love her more and more each day.

When she wanted to see Shaina, I wanted to flat out refuse. There was no fucking way I wanted her to relive that shit and seeing Shaina would definitely do that. It was selfish, I fully admit. But I had the best intentions at heart. I just want to shield her and protect her as much as I can. Several times I’ve thought of locking her in a room and never letting her leave. But I know she’d never let that fly. I chuckle to myself at the thought.

It’d actually be nice to see that fire. She’s been so mellow. Strong, but subdued.

All I know is that I love her and I will do anything and everything I can to help her get through this.


Chapter 19—Casey

One month later

“G.T.! Stop it!” I laugh and try to put the potato salad in a big bowl to serve, slopping it all over the place. “They’re all due here any minute.” I screech as his hand wraps around my waist and travels up my shirt gripping my breast. I drop the spoon not wanting to make a bigger mess.

“They can wait.” He growls in my neck. After talking with Dr. Anderson several times a week, I feel much better. More like my old self. She is helping me work through my grief for Mia, even though I’ll never get over her loss. I’m also beginning to release what happened with Jace and Paine. It’s amazing what a month can do. After leaving the clubhouse, sleep got so much better. It comes easily, not that I still don’t have the occasional nightmare, but they are becoming few and far between.

I went back to work at the garage and I think that helped me a lot. Being under the hood of a car always soothes me. I’ve managed to keep up with my classes and actually do pretty well with this online thing. G.T. set up the spare room as an office with a desk for me to study. G.T.’s house feels like our home.

When I initiated sex for the first time after the incident, G.T. pounced and he has not let up a moment since. I thought I would have more of an issue with sex, but talking to the doctor has helped. One day, I just decided I wanted it and it helps me feel closer to G.T. which is something I desperately crave.

“Quick.” I answer turning in his arms and connect our lips.

* * *

“You’re here!” I grab on to Blaze pulling her into the house. I didn’t think she would come, even though I invite her to everything. But she’s here and I’m grateful. The brothers and their ol’ ladies have been here for two hours and the booze and food is flowing. I have come to realize that I love throwing parties.

“I’m here.” She says wrapping her arms around me. I do the same, squeezing her soft body.

“Come in and eat.” I pull her into the kitchen and everyone’s eyes in the room land on her. She is very beautiful and the men and women alike can appreciate her beauty. She squares her shoulders and gives small smiles and waves hi with confidence. Even though she has seen the brothers at the club, she doesn’t interact with them often.

“I’m not really hungry and I can’t stay too long.”

“Bull. You stay, eat and have some fun. You need to stop hiding out all the time.” She gives a small smirk but doesn’t respond.

“Beer Pong!” Bubbles, Becs ol’ lady, yells out. I roll my eyes slightly.

“What are you eighteen?” Harlow chastises. “Oh shit… What the hell.” She throws her arms up and stumbles over to the cabinet pulling out a stack of red and yellow Solo cups. She fills twelve of them partially full. “You got a ping pong ball woman?”

“Hell if I know!” I say going to find G.T., who is now sitting outside on the deck with his brothers, Cruz, Becs, Dagger, Rhys and Zed, who all smirk when I walk out. G.T. full out smiles, his eyes locking with mine. “Hey babe. You got a ping pong ball.”