He was thoughtful.

“You don’t mean you think we should wait a year?”

“Not as long as that, no. But shouldn’t we see how things go?”

“I long to get away,” he said.

“Darling, where shall we go?”

“Anywhere will do.”

“Away from this place … all the speculations … all the memories of it. I want to think of us and nothing else.”

“It sounds blissful.”

Again I had that idea that he was trying to reach out to me, to tell me what was on his mind. A terrible fear came to me and it would not go away. What part had he played in this murder? I kept asking myself.

Why did he not tell me what was on his mind? Could it be that he dared not?

I thought how happy I could be if we could be together and there was nothing between us and our happiness, if I could think of the future with hope and confidence. But I could not rid myself of images of that body in the shrubbery and the gun which had been taken from the gunroom at St. Aubyn’s.

Crispin continued to talk of our honeymoon. Italy was always a favourite place. Was it not one of the most beautiful countries in the world? So much of the past still survived there. Florence, Venice, Rome. Austria was inviting. We could go to Salzburg, Mozart’s birthplace. France? The chateaux of the Loire. He had always wanted to see Chateau Gaillard with its memories of Richard Coeur-de-Lion.

But while we discussed them all I could not stop thinking: There is something. He cannot entirely hide it. I can see it in his eyes.

Why will he not tell me? I can’t ask him because he does not admit to its being there. But, knowing him, loving him, I am aware of it.

Lily was proud of me.

The big house, eh? Mistress of all that! My word, you’ll be too grand to come and see us at The Rowans. “

We laughed at her.

“You don’t think that. Lily, you know very well,” I retorted.

“Well, of course not. You’ll always be our little Miss Freddie, won’t she. Miss Sophie?”

“Yes, she will. When we are doddering old ladies and she herself a mature matron, she will always be our little Miss Freddie.”

Aunt Sophie often talked about the past.

“I remember Crispin as a boy,” she said.

“A nice lad. And the way he looks after those Lanes … that’s a credit to him. I used to see him now and then. His parents were hardly ever here. They were always gadding up to London or the Continent, letting the place go to rack and ruin. It was a mercy they had a good manager. And when Crispin took over, that was the best thing that could have happened to the place. That was when he was married. That brought him out of the university and got him into the estate. It was time, too. It’s a funny thing, but there is always good in something. That marriage of his brought him home and the estate has prospered ever since.”

“You must have seen his wife often.”

“Oh yes, I saw her. My goodness, what a shock it was! Disaster from the start. I just wondered how he could have done it. Folly of youth, I suppose. She seemed a lot older than he was … more than she’d admit to, I reckon.”

“Was she very beautiful?”

“Not to my mind. All rouge and powder and hair too gold to be natural.

As soon as I set eyes on her I knew it wouldn’t last long. “

“I want to know about it, Aunt Sophie.”

“You’ve nothing to fear from her, my dear. Sometimes in these second marriages the second wife gets fancies about the first. Thinks the husband is hankering after the past. That’s something you’ll be spared. He was glad to be rid of her. Everyone knows that.”

“What was it like at St. Aubyn’s when she was there?”

“She wanted parties and that sort of thing.”

“Like Crispin’s parents.”

“They were abroad most of the time and it wasn’t like that with her at all. The parents’ kind were elegant affairs. These were noisy, rowdy.

Lots of musical-hall people, I think. People in the neighbourhood didn’t like it much. There was quarrelling too. Poor Crispin. He soon saw what he’d let himself in for. Then she got bored with it all and went off. Soon after that there was the crash and she was killed.

Happy release, people said, for Crispin. “

“I think all that had a great effect on him.”

“Bound to. He seemed to shut himself away. Thought of nothing but the estate. One or two people had their eyes on him.”

“You mean like Lady Fiona?”

“Perhaps. There were others. He didn’t seem to want any of them. Not until he fell in love with you. Oh, Freddie, I believe everything is going to be wonderful for you. He’s changed a lot. He’s losing that haunted look. That proud sort of arrogance. It’s a defiance against fate. He seemed to have come to the conclusion that he was a fool to have got caught as he did. He despised himself and all that self-assurance was a shield to hide behind.”

“Yes,” I said.

“I am sure you are right, but I think there is something between us, though something which prevents my getting as close to him as I should like.”

“That’s it, dear. It will take some time for him to break completely from the past. But he’s on the way and I am so happy about this. I am sure it’s right for you and your happiness is more important to me than anything.”

“Dearest Aunt Sophie, I don’t know how to begin to thank you for all you have done for me. Ever since I came to you here you have been wonderful to me.”

I saw the brightness of tears glistening in her eyes.

“Dearest child, you are my own niece and …”

“And my father’s daughter? Tell me, have you written to him?”

“I have told him of your engagement.”

“Will he be interested? After all, he doesn’t know anything about Crispin. He doesn’t really know me.”

“He knows you well from my letters. He is always anxious to know about you. He has now gone right away to an island on the other side of the world.”

“I thought he was in Egypt.”

“He left some time ago. It’s a remote sort of place called Casker’s Island. It seems to have been discovered by a man called Casker some years ago. Few people have ever heard of it. I searched the map in vain. But I did find it in one atlas. Just a little black dot on the sea. I suppose it is too insignificant to be mentioned in most.”

“What is he doing there?”

“He’s with someone called Karla. Polynesian, I think. He mentions her now and then. I can’t think why he left Egypt. I suppose there is some reason but he hasn’t told me.”

“I think it is wonderful that you have kept in touch all these years.”

“We were great friends. Still are, and I suppose always will be,” she replied.

Crispin and I were together almost every day. He took me round the estate and we were greeted with congratulations. everywhere we went.

He was anxious for me to learn more about it. My spell in the office had taught me a good deal and I was already quite knowledgeable. It was his life and he was eager for me to share it. And I fervently wanted to.

We were very happy during those days. Crispin had changed subtly. I was discovering new facets in his characj ter and they delighted me.

He had a great capacity for? enjoyment which had previously been suppressed, Life seemed now to be full of amusement; we were constantly laughing and it was the laughter of happiness.

I thought: Everything will be all right now.

We called at Grindle’s Farm. Rachel was delighted to see us and Danielle was produced to be admired. I had a few moments alone with Rachel and she told me how happy she was for me.

“And you are not worried any more?” I asked.

“Only occasionally it comes back. I suppose that is inevitable. I wish they could find out who killed Gaston and settle it once and for all.

I don’t think we shall be entirely at ease until they do. The police don’t seem to be so interested any more. “

“I expect they will call it one of those unsolved crimes. There are many of them, I am sure.”

“Yes. They just fade out of people’s memories in spite of the fact that they were so interested in them at the time. That’s how it will be. But how I wish it could all be settled.”

“So do we all.”

Crispin and I rode off together.

They were such happy days until I noticed the change in him. I knew him so well now and it was hard for him to deceive me. I fancied there was a false note in his laughter and I caught an anxious expression in his eyes now and then. He was preoccupied with some problem, though making an effort to pretend all was well.

“Is anything wrong?” I asked.

“No. Nothing. What should be?”

How I wished he would tell me everything! That vague uneasy feeling was back with me. I thought it had gone for ever.

I wanted to say: There must be complete trust between us. Tell me what it is that is bothering you. Let us share it.

There were times when he cast off this anxiety. Then I asked myself if I had imagined it.

It was some days later when he said he had to go to Salisbury on business and would be away for the day. I wished that I could go with him but he said he would be engaged with various people during the day and I should be left alone.

“It’s only for a day,” he added.

But when we said goodbye that evening he held me tightly to him as though he were very reluctant to let me go.

“I shall see you the day after tomorrow,” I said.

“Yes,” he said, still holding me tightly.

“You don’t seem to want to let me go,” I said lightly. He replied fervently: “I shall never let you go.”

That morning Aunt Sophie said to me: “I am going into Devizes this afternoon. Why don’t you come with me?”