It’s quarter to nine and I’m sitting at a large circular table in the Bellagio restaurant, waiting for the others. My head is throbbing gently along with the background Muzak, and I feel a bit green. Which goes to show that room-service wine is just as potent as restaurant wine.

And so are room-service cocktails.

OK, OK. And room-service nightcaps.

It also didn’t help that Minnie woke us up at about three A.M., shrieking that her bed was “in the water.” It’s all the fault of those stupid gondolas. They should have health warnings.

I look up to see Luke returning to the table from the buffet, along with Minnie, who is clutching a bowl of cornflakes.

“Mummy, flakes!” she says, as though she’s discovered some rare delicacy. “I got flakes!”

“Amazing, darling! Yummy!” I turn to Luke. “She has the whole of the Bellagio buffet to choose from and she goes for cornflakes?”

“I tried to get her interested in the fresh shrimp-and-lobster platter,” says Luke with a grin. “Not so much.”

My stomach turns over at the sound of fresh shrimp and lobster. I mean, honestly, lobster for breakfast. What kind of madness is that?

“They have truffle omelets,” says Luke, as Minnie starts to munch her cornflakes.

“Great,” I say without enthusiasm.

“And there’s a chocolate fountain, and French toast, and—”

“Luke, stop,” I moan. “Don’t talk about food.”

“Are you suffering?” Luke grins.

“No,” I say with dignity. “I’m simply not very hungry.”

Maybe I should start the 5:2 diet, it occurs to me. Yes. And today could be the eat-nothing day.

A waiter comes to refresh my coffee cup, and I sip from it gingerly. A moment later a familiar sound catches my ear and I look up. Is that Mum’s voice? Oh my God, is that apparition Mum?

She’s standing at the greeter’s desk, her hair all messed up, her eyes smudged, and with some kind of glittery flower behind her ear.

“My daughter,” she’s saying. “My daughter, Becky. Can you find her, please? I really need a cup of coffee….” She clutches her disheveled hair. “Oh, my head…”

“Mum!” I wave frantically. “Over here!”

As Mum looks up, I can see that she’s wearing the same dress as last night. Has she not been to bed?

“Mum!” I exclaim again as I head across the restaurant to her. “Are you OK? Where have you been?”

“Wait,” she says. “Let me get the others. Girls! Here!”

She beckons to the restaurant entrance, and to my astonishment I see the figures of Elinor and Janice approaching. They’re walking arm in arm. No, they’re staggering.

Both look dreadful. Both are in the same clothes as last night. Janice is wearing a shiny sash which reads KARAOKE QUEEN, and Elinor has what look like burnt-out sparklers stuck into her hair.

Oh my God. I give a sudden snort of laughter and clap a hand over my mouth.

“So, it was a good night out?” I ask as they reach us. Janice looks up and murmurs weakly, “Oh, Becky love. Never let me drink Tia Maria again.”

“I am not well,” announces Elinor, who is white as a sheet. “My head…these symptoms…they are most alarming….” She closes her eyes, and I grab on to her to steady her.

“Did you get any sleep?” I look from face to face, feeling like I’m the parent. “Did you drink any water? Did you eat anything?”

“We dozed,” says Mum, after a moment’s thought. “At the Wynn, was it?”

“I am not at all well,” says Elinor again, her head drooping like a swan’s.

“You’ve got a hangover,” I say sympathetically. “Come and sit down. I’ll order some tea….”

As we move toward the table, Luke glances up from Minnie’s cornflakes and starts in horror. “Mother!” He leaps up. “Oh my God! Are you all right?”

“Don’t worry. She’s just got a hangover,” I say. “They all have. Elinor, have you ever had a hangover before?”

Elinor looks blank as I help her into a chair.

“Do you know what a hangover is?” I try again.

“I have heard the term,” she says, regaining some of her familiar snootiness.

“Well, welcome to your first ever hangover.” I pour her a large glass of water. “Drink this. Luke, do you have any Nurofen?”

For the next few minutes, Luke and I are the hangover doctors, as we administer cold fluids, cups of tea, and painkillers to Mum, Janice, and Elinor. I keep catching Luke’s eye and wanting to giggle, but Elinor looks so pained, I don’t like to.

“But you had a good time?” I say at last, when a little color has come back into her cheeks.

“I think so.” She looks baffled. “I barely remember.”

“That means you did,” says Luke.

“You guys!” Danny’s voice hails us and we all look around to see him approaching the table. He’s wearing a full-length sequined dress, and his face is made up with glittery purple eye shadow. I’m guessing he hasn’t been to bed either.

“Danny!” I exclaim. “What are you wearing?” But he ignores me.

“You guys!” he says again, and I realize he’s addressing Mum, Janice, and Elinor. “You rocked last night! They did karaoke at the Mandalay Bay,” he turns to me. “Your mom can do a mean ‘Rolling in the Deep.’ And Elinor! What a class act!”

“Elinor did karaoke?” I stare at him.

“No,” says Luke, sounding absolutely poleaxed.

“Oh, yes.” Danny grins. “ ‘Something Stupid.’ Duet with Janice.”

“No,” says Luke again, and we all turn to survey Elinor, whose head is drooping on the table again. Poor Elinor. The first time you get drunk is always horrendous, and this is obviously her first time.

“You’ll be OK,” I say, and stroke her back. “Hang in there, Elinor.” I’m just pouring her some more water when I see Suze and Alicia out of the corner of my eye. Needless to say, they don’t look one bit hungover. Alicia’s got that burnished healthy glow which all the Golden Peace staffers have. (It comes from the Golden Peace bronzing serum, by the way, not healthy living.) Suze’s blond hair is freshly washed and she’s wearing a white long-sleeved top, which gives her an angelic air. As they draw near, I get a waft of some fresh, breezy scent, as if they’re both wearing the same perfume, which maybe they are, because they’re such best, best friends.

“Hello, you two!” I say, compelling myself to sound polite. “Did you have a good evening?”

“We had an early night,” says Alicia. “And this morning we found a tai chi class.”

“Great!” I force a smile. “Lovely. Can I pour you some water? Have you seen Danny’s here?”

As the two sit down, Danny approaches from the buffet. He’s holding a plate piled high with lobster and grapes and nothing else.

“Suze! Darling.” He blows her a kiss. “I’m here for you. I mean, literally. I. Am here.” He points at himself. “For you. Just tell me what I can do.”

“Danny!” says Suze with a ferocious glare. “What the hell do you think you’ve been doing?”

“I flew here as soon as I could,” says Danny proudly. “My assistants and I are at your disposal. Tell me what we can do.”

“I’ll tell you what you can not do!” says Suze. She pulls out one of Danny’s fliers and brandishes it at him. “You can not plaster my husband’s face all over Las Vegas so I get a million people wanting to ‘hook up’ with him! Do you know the kind of calls and texts I’ve been getting?”

“No!” says Danny in delight. “What did they say?” Then he notices Suze’s expression and draws himself up defensively. “I was only trying to help, Suze. Excuse me for deploying my resources to aid you. Next time I won’t bother.”

I can see Suze quivering, trying to get a grip on herself, and after a few moments she says, “I’m sorry, Danny. I know you were trying to help. But honestly.”

“They’re great pictures, though, aren’t they?” says Danny, looking lovingly at Tarkie’s moody gaze.

“I hate them,” says Suze with fervor.

“I know, but they’re still great. You have to admit it, Suze. You’re an artist. You have an eye. Hey, I have a coat from my new collection that’s perfect for you. It has, like, this mammoth ruff neckline? Like Elizabeth the First? You would totally pull it off. Peace offering?”

No one can stay cross with Danny for long. I can see Suze unbending and rolling her eyes at him, and eventually she leans back with a huffing sigh and turns to Alicia. “Alicia, you’ve met Danny Kovitz, haven’t you?” she says. “Danny, Alicia Merrelle.”

“I remember you from Becky’s wedding,” says Danny blandly to Alicia. “You made quite the entrance.”

I can see a flash of something pass across Alicia’s face—anger? remorse?—but she doesn’t reply. Suze has poured out two glasses of water, and the two of them start sipping delicately.

“Where did you go last night?” says Danny to Suze, who shakes her head.

“We didn’t. We stayed in all night. Shall we go to the buffet, Alicia?”

As the two of them get up, Danny leans across the table to me.

“Well, that’s a lie,” he murmurs quietly.

“What’s a lie?”

“Alicia wasn’t in all evening. I saw her in the lobby of the Four Seasons, about midnight, talking to some guy.”

“You’re kidding!” I say, agog.

“You’re kidding!” mimics Minnie at once.

“What was she doing? And why would she lie about it?”

Danny shrugs and stuffs about six grapes into his mouth at once.

“I need ice water,” he says fretfully. “This water isn’t chill enough. Where’s Kasey?”

He starts to text, and I lean back in my chair, watching Alicia as she selects pieces of grapefruit. I knew she was up to something. What was she doing in the Four Seasons lobby at midnight? It sounds totally suspicious, if you ask me. I’m about to ask Danny for more details, when I suddenly notice that Elinor has fallen asleep on the table. Her face is squashed up and her hair is skewiff and I can hear a gentle snoring.