Ooh, Lassie!

From: Laird, Nick

To: Brandon, Rebecca

Subject: Re: Hi Melanie, how are you?!

Dear Mrs Brandon

I am replying to your email to Melanie Young. I’m sure that Melanie does remember you from her shopping appointments at Barneys and am glad you still recall ‘how fab she looked in that Moschino pencil skirt’.

Unfortunately Melanie has recently given up producing, moved to a commune in Arkansas and, according to her farewell speech, ‘never wants to hear the word “movie” again’. She will therefore be unable to help you launch yourself as a celebrity stylist, nor introduce you to Sarah Jessica Parker.

I wish you every luck with your endeavors in Hollywood.

Nick Laird

Head of Development

ABJ Pictures

From: Quinn, Sandi

To: Brandon, Rebecca

Subject: Re: Hi Rosaline, how are you?!

Dear Mrs Brandon

I am replying to your email on behalf of Rosaline DuFoy, in my role as Rosaline’s counsellor.

Rosaline does indeed remember you from her shopping appointments at Barneys and recalls well the ‘amazingly slimming pant suit’ you found for her sister’s wedding.

Unfortunately, during the toast at that wedding, her husband came out as gay. Rosaline has always – rightly or wrongly – blamed her ‘androgynous clothes’ for his switch in sexuality and is currently penning an autobiography entitled ‘If only I’d worn a f***ing dress’. As the memories are still raw and painful, she would rather not meet with you.

However, I wish you every success in Hollywood.

Best,

Sandi Quinn

Director

Quinn Clinic for Marital Therapy


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