CUNNINGHAM’S

Rosewood Center

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W 3rd St.

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Los Angeles, CA 90048

Dear Mrs Brandon

Thank you for your letter. I’m glad you enjoyed your recent visit to our store.

Unfortunately, I cannot comment on whether the woman shopping at the M.A.C counter on Tuesday was ‘Uma Thurman wearing a long dark wig’. I therefore cannot tell you ‘exactly which lipstick she bought’, nor ‘whether she’s just as lovely in real life’, nor pass on your note ‘because she must want a friend to hang out with and I think we’d really get on’.

I wish you all the best for your forthcoming move to Los Angeles. However, in answer to your other query, we do not offer introductory discounts for new residents of LA to ‘make them feel welcome’.

Thank you for your interest.

Customer Services Department


INNER SANCTUM LIFESTYLE SPA

6540 HOLLOWAY DR. * WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA 90069

Dear Mrs Brandon

Thank you for your letter – I’m glad you enjoyed your recent visit to our spa.

Unfortunately, I cannot comment on whether the woman in the front row in your yoga class was Gwyneth Paltrow. I’m sorry that it was hard to tell because ‘she was always upside down’.

I therefore cannot pass on your query as to how she achieves ‘such a perfect headstand’ or whether she has ‘special weights in her T-shirt’; nor can I pass on your invitation to an organic tea with kale cakes.

I’m glad you enjoyed our gift-and-lifestyle shop. In answer to your further question, should I meet your husband in the street, rest assured I will not tell him about your ‘tiny splurge on organic underwear’.

Thank you for your interest.

Kyle Heiling

Achievement Manager (Eastern Arts)


Beauty on the Boulevard

9500 BEVERLY BOULEVARD

BEVERLY HILLS, LOS ANGELES CA 90210

Dear Mrs Brandon

Thank you for your letter.

Unfortunately, I cannot confirm whether the woman browsing at the La Mer stand was ‘Julie Andrews in dark glasses and a headscarf’.

I therefore cannot pass on your comments, ‘How hot was Captain von Trapp in real life?’ or ‘I’m sorry I sang “The Lonely Goatherd” at you, I was just very excited.’ Nor can I pass on your invitation to ‘come round for a fun sing-along with apple strudel’.

In answer to your further inquiry, we do not throw ‘Welcome to LA’ parties, nor offer free gifts to new arrivals; not even teeth-whitening kits to ‘help them fit in’. However, I wish you every success with your imminent move to LA.

Thank you for your interest.

Customer Services Consultant