“It was complicated.”

“How?”

“Because I felt like I deserved it.”

“For marrying him in the first place?”

“For everything I’d ever done wrong.” She struggled to articulate because she knew she was slurring her words. “Causing Scott Harris to get into that—” she winced “—that crash when we were in high school. Acting so spoiled and selfish all the time. Disappointing you by...by getting with Skip.”

“So you were letting him punish you.”

“Not only that, I couldn’t leave. I was afraid that if he ever got...got hold of me, I wouldn’t survive it. He said that if I told anyone or tried to leave him, I could kiss Alexa goodbye.” Just the thought of losing Alexa made her so sad, tears trickled down her cheeks. “So even if I did get away, I’d lose my daughter.”

When Ted swore under his breath, she rested an arm over her eyes so she wouldn’t have to look at him. She couldn’t tell if he was angry with her for not getting away, or for turning to alcohol. Or if he was angry with Skip. “At least he was gone most of the time.”

She’d already started to drift off when Ted spoke. “I brought you some turkey and other leftovers from dinner. Any chance I can talk you into eating?”

“Not right now, but thanks. I had cereal.” She lifted her arm to peer up at him. “Did you have a nice Thanksgiving?”

He hesitated.

“Did something go wrong?” she asked.

“No, it was fine.”

“And Eve? Did she like it?”

“I think so.”

“She’s a nice person. She knew about my drinking when you asked her that night in the Jacuzzi, but she didn’t tell you. I’ll always be grateful to her for that. She’s someone special. You’re lucky to have her.”

Pivoting, he came back toward her. “Since she’s so much better than you, you mean?”

Squinting, she struggled to bring him into focus. “Well, she does have her life in order while mine’s a complete mess, so...” She giggled, which wasn’t appropriate. On some level she knew that, so she forced herself to stop and when he didn’t respond, she rolled over onto her side. “Are you sorry you hired me?”

“No,” he said. “I’m not sorry.”

“Someone else would’ve been less hassle—and wouldn’t have passed out in your wine cellar.”

“Someone else wouldn’t have been facing your challenges. I know you’re doing the best you can, that you’re trying.”

“I’ll try again tomorrow,” she promised, and this somehow evoked a smile from him.

“I’m sure you will.”

“Did your mom like the pumpkin dessert?”

He cleared his throat. “You asked me that.”

She blinked at him, trying to remember his answer. “Did you tell me?”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “In case I didn’t, she loved it. Ate two pieces.”

That made her happy. It was the first thing today that had. “I’m glad,” she said. “That’s nice. I was thinking I’d take a piece to my mom, but...you know what happened to the car.”

“I know.”

“Principal Dixon really ate two pieces?”

“Go to sleep,” he told her and, she couldn’t be sure—maybe she just imagined it—but she thought he bent and kissed her forehead.

26

“Why didn’t you tell me she has a drinking problem?” Ted asked.

There was a brief silence on the other end of the line before Eve answered. “How’d you find out?”

“How do you think? She was here alone all day, on Thanksgiving. Her car was just repossessed and she was trying to cope with her psychotic mother. That doesn’t sound like a recipe for disaster to you?”

“Oh, no. I hope she’s okay....”

He remembered the moment he’d found her lying on the floor. He’d felt such a jolt of panic when he thought she might be injured—or worse. Suicide had crossed his mind, which was why he hadn’t been all that upset when he’d realized it was only alcohol. “She’s fine. She’s sleeping it off. But...I wish I’d known so I could’ve been more prepared.”

“And how would you have prepared?”

“By locking the wine cellar so it wouldn’t turn out to be a booby trap for her!”

“Ted, if she wanted to drink badly enough, she would’ve found a way to get some booze.”

“Without a car? I live five miles out of town. She would’ve had to want it pretty badly.”

“What else did she have to do today? You said she was home alone. She could’ve walked that far.” The tenor of her voice changed. “She might not have made it back, depending on whether she drank on the way home, but...”

He didn’t care to imagine it. At least she was safe. “You still haven’t answered my question.”

“There were a lot of reasons I didn’t tell you.”

“Like...”

“I’d promised her I wouldn’t tell anyone. I didn’t feel it would be fair to break that confidence just because you and I started seeing each other.”

He remembered Alexa’s reaction not too long ago when he’d gone down to the kitchen for a glass of wine—and finally understood it. “We’re not talking about spreading random gossip. She’s my housekeeper! You don’t think I had a right to know that my wine cellar might cause her some serious problems?”

“Last I heard, alcohol addiction isn’t something people are required to reveal on a job application. I figured it didn’t matter as long as it wasn’t affecting her work. She’s had it hard enough since Skip died without me going around blabbing about her personal problems—especially to her employer who didn’t really want to hire her in the first place. From what she told me, alcohol was her only escape. Skip controlled every aspect of her life, wouldn’t even let her have a job. So I wasn’t feeling particularly judgmental. And you can be a very exacting person.”

He sat up. “What’s that supposed to mean? I’m judgmental?”

“You’re capable of so much, and you expect others to live up to your standards.”

“I don’t understand what Sophia’s addiction has to do with that.”

“Besides the job issue, and whether or not you’d be willing to hire her, I thought that learning she was an alcoholic might change the way you look at her—and at me. I didn’t want that to be the deciding factor in our relationship, didn’t want you to choose me over her just because I’ve never been to rehab. I hoped you’d fall head over heels in love with me just like you once did with her. We all know how you used to feel about her, Ted. How much she meant to you and how long it took you to get over her. If you were going to date me, I wanted it to be because of who I am instead of what she isn’t. Does that make sense?”

“Not entirely,” he grumbled, but it did. He was just hesitant to acknowledge the legitimacy of her concerns. He wasn’t sure that, in the past four weeks, he’d been able to come very close to the target she’d painted for him.

Was he falling in love with her? It didn’t feel like it. He kept telling himself that he had to give their relationship more time, try harder, be more dedicated, stop thinking of Sophia. But he couldn’t order his heart to love one person instead of another. Despite the hurt she’d caused him, it was still Sophia who took his breath away.

“When it comes to me, to us, I don’t want you to rely on some...checklist that has more to do with your head than your heart,” Eve explained. “No girl wants to be a consolation prize.”

“I appreciate what you’re saying,” he told her, but he feared her expectations were set too high. If she hoped to own his heart the way Sophia once had—he couldn’t deliver that.

“You appreciate it?” she said. “That’s your response?”

She’d given him an opportunity to reassure her, and he’d blown it. They’d been sleeping together for a month. He could see how, after that much time, she might be curious as to where he stood on the relationship. But how could he convince her they were heading toward marriage when he felt no closer to it today than the morning after they’d first made love? Just a few minutes ago, it had been all he could do not to carry Sophia to his bed. If she hadn’t been drunk, there was even a chance he might have succumbed.... “I care about you—”

“You cared about me a month ago, Ted.” She paused and he waited, tense, for her to continue. “Is that all you’ve got?”

Think how easy your life will be if you stick with Eve. Don’t be Rhett Butler! “I don’t know what to say.” He scratched his head, hard, as if that would somehow set his brain straight. “I want to feel the way you want me to.”

“But it’s not there. That’s the rest of the sentence, isn’t it?”

Shit. He could hear the disappointment in her voice. He was hurting her even though he’d promised himself he’d never do that. “Maybe not yet, but...that doesn’t mean what we have can’t develop into whatever we want it to be. I won’t give up. Not as long as you’re interested in trying.”

“How flattering. You’re asking me to rely on the power of your will. Your determination.”

He’d said the wrong thing, been too honest. “It’s not just determination. It’s knowing that you’re...that you’re everything I should want in a wife.”

“So I get a better score on your checklist.”

“I don’t have a checklist!”

“Never mind. I think a month of giving it all we’ve got is enough, don’t you?”

“A month isn’t that long, Eve. We’ve barely gotten started. And we have a...a good relationship. We never fight. We enjoy each other. We trust each other.”

“There we go. That’s it. You trust me, but you don’t trust Sophia.”

Could anyone trust Sophia? Maybe she wouldn’t be able to beat her addiction. Maybe what she’d been through had scarred her too deeply. Or maybe she’d get back on her feet but move away. “Look, there’s nothing wrong with basing a relationship on trust, nothing wrong with what we’ve got.”