As I lay there, the reality of what we’d just done hit me. I didn't have any regrets or guilt like last time. I knew he was what I wanted. I wouldn't deny myself any longer. Too much time had passed, and I was ready to try to love again. To allow myself to be loved.

13

"I FEEL like I could sleep for a week." Christine yawned as she laid her head down on her desk.

I laughed. "Me, too, but it was beautiful. Reed and Lexi loved it. You should be proud. You did a great job."

"We did a great job," she corrected me. "You aren't so bad after all." She gave me a smile.

"Yeah, you're not so bad yourself." And she really wasn't. I felt like over the past month, the two of us could almost be considered friends. It was a nice change from her looking at me like she wanted to claw my eyes out all the time.

"How about a drink to celebrate? After the press coverage we got, we are going to be swamped with customers. I think our lives are about to get crazy."

"Can I take a rain check? I promised Lexi I would go to her place and help her pack." Lexi was going to spend the week at Brandon's family's house in New Jersey, something she was really nervous about.

"Sure, but I'll hold you to it." She stood up and slung her purse over her shoulder. "Well, I guess I have a date with my TV and then my bed… again."

After she left, I finished a few things at the office and then headed over to Lexi's. When she opened the door, she had a panicked look on her face.

"I have nothing to wear." She turned around and stomped back to her room. "I bought new outfits for this week, but nothing looks right. What are you supposed to wear to meet your boyfriend’s parents? What am I going to do, Emily?" She looked at me with pure fear in her eyes.

"First, you need to relax." I couldn't help but laugh at her.

"It's not funny. I'm pretty sure I'm starting to fall in love with Brandon and I just want his family to like me," she said as she fell back on her bed. "If they don't like me, then it will never work."

Shaking my head, I climbed up on her bed and sat beside her, wondering why she couldn't see how amazing she was. I wondered why she didn't see herself like everyone else saw her, as a beautiful person, inside and out.

"If Brandon is introducing you to his family, then he must have the same feelings about you, don't you think?"

She nodded.

"See, you just need to relax. If Brandon feels that strongly about you, then his family will, too. They are going to love you," I said, hoping to boost her confidence.

"I hope so. Brandon is the first guy I've dated in a long time and I just don't want to screw this up, you know. He's different from any guy I've ever dated and…" She stopped short and sat up. "Sorry, you probably think I'm being crazy and annoying."

"No. You being nervous is pretty normal, I think. This is a big step for you guys. I think it would be strange if you weren't so nervous. It shows how much you care about him."

"Thanks for being here. I don’t know how well this conversation would've gone with Reed. Oh, and speaking of, I almost forgot. I know you're not one to read the papers or magazines, and to be honest, they are mostly garbage, but this I think you need to see."

She hopped off the bed, walked across the room, and picked up a magazine off her dresser. I hadn't even seen it yet, but my heart was already racing. This wasn't going to be good.

"I think they ran it in every major magazine. Most of the time, I hate the pictures they take and I think it's such an invasion of privacy, but these pictures are actually really cute. I'm not sure I've ever seen you smile like this before." Lexi held the magazine out for me to see.

My heart hammered even faster the second I got a good look at it. No. Please tell me this isn't happening. My mind raced. I didn't even remember anyone taking pictures. Could I have been that distracted with Reed or was the photographer just that good?

I pulled the magazine from her grasp and stared at the numerous pictures of Reed and me. There was a close-up of us looking at one another, smiling. Another of us kissing against the column outside. One of us in an embrace inside the small room right before we… Oh God, please tell me they don't have pictures of that. An entire page dedicated just to us. Oh no. No. No. No. No. No. This is bad. Really, really bad.

Before, when the paparazzi and reporters had taken pictures of me outside the restaurant, my face had been blocked out for the most part, but now, it was in clear view.

"This one is definitely a framer." Lexi pointed to the one of Reed and me smiling and gazing into each other’s eyes. "At least you got one good thing out of all of this horrible press." She kept talking, but the loud ringing in my ears drowned her out. My eyes moved to the heading below the pictures—the one in large, bold lettering.

REED ALEXANDER OFF THE MARKET! EMILY ANDERSON HAS HIS HEART!

The moment I saw it, it felt like my chest had been hit with a sledge hammer. My stomach twisted into something horrible. I stared at the images of Reed and me again, more specifically the close-up that was captured the moment right after we kissed outside.

I'd been so stupid and too relaxed, thinking I could live a normal life. Thinking I could actually have a real relationship with him. Eventually, things like this would get back to Jake. He'd come find me.

"Emily, what's wrong? You look like you’re going to be sick."

She had no idea how sick I wanted to be. Swallowing hard, I tried to push down the fear I could feel rising in my throat. I had to get out of here. I wasn't sure where I would go or what I would do, but I knew I couldn't stay here. I would have to run again. Can I do that? Can I leave New York and start over? Can I really run again? Do I really want to leave the life that I've created? Do I want to leave Lexi? Reed? No, but I have to go. If there was the smallest chance that Jake would see these pictures, then I had to leave. He would kill me for sure, but not only that; he would kill everyone I had come to care about. He would do it to punish me.

"Emily." Lexi shook me gently. "You're starting to scare me."

"I have to go," I finally said, shoving the magazine back into her hands.

"Wait." Lexi reached out to stop me, but I hurried past her, walking as fast as I could toward the front door.

The faster I got back to my apartment, packed a few clothes and left New York, the better. It was the only way. My mind was still spinning with all of the possibilities that could happen. What if he’s already here in New York? The pictures had been published for a few days. What if he’s waiting for me right now?

When I reached the elevators at the end of the hall, Lexi caught up to me. "Geez, Emily, what is it?"

My breaths were coming fast and heavy. "It's—I have to go, okay? Those pictures…" I gestured to the magazine that was still in her hands. "It's just… I thought if I was careful that it would be okay, but it's too dangerous." The words slipped from my mouth before I could stop them. Her face shifted into a look of horror. Damn, I shouldn't have said anything. "Listen, Lexi, it's not a big deal. I just can't deal with all of this right now."

"Are you in some kind of trouble?" she asked, her face full of concern.

The last thing I wanted to do was burden her with my problems. It was the last thing she needed in her life.

"It's nothing I can't take care of myself." I forced a smile. "Really, I'm fine. I just need to be by myself for a little while." It was clear she didn't believe me, but I kept the smile on my face, hoping to eventually fool her. "I'll call you later, okay?" I said as the elevator doors opened.

As the doors slid closed, I refused to meet her gaze. I knew the tears were building up inside me and I knew it was only a matter of time before they erupted. Once the doors opened into the lobby, I ran out and grabbed the first cab I saw.

I was home for only a few minutes, sitting on my bed, wondering what to do, when there was a soft knock on my front door. Fear and panic hit me. It felt like someone had poured ice-cold water down my back.

Then a little voice entered my head, telling me that I was stronger than this. That I didn't have to be afraid. I could do this. I could protect myself. I had promised myself that I wouldn’t allow Jake to rule my life anymore.

Wiping my eyes and taking a deep breath, I made my way to the front door, bracing myself for what I was about to see. My heart relaxed a little when I saw Lexi standing there.

"Hi," she said when I opened the door. Her face was full of concern and confusion.

"Hey." I felt the heat hit my cheeks. I felt horrible for running out on her like I did. I couldn't imagine what she was thinking. "Would you like to come in?" I asked, opening the door farther.

She walked in and looked around my apartment. It felt weird for her to be here. No one had ever been inside my apartment. "This place fits you." She looked at me and smiled. "It's simple, clean and quiet. Just like you. I like it." Simple was right. My apartment held a couch, coffee table, and a small table with an even smaller TV on top.

"You didn't have to come, Lexi. I told you I was fine, and I am. The pictures just freaked me out a little."

She nodded. "I get it. I will understand if you don't want to tell me, but the look of fear in your eyes a few minutes ago, I know that look." She paused and swallowed hard. "It's hard to hide your feelings from someone who's experienced the same type of fear as you. I'm not sure what happened to you, Emily, but I know fear when I see it." She continued to walk around my apartment, glancing at the few things I had decorated it with. She made her way over to the couch and then looked at me. "May I sit?"