It was hard to imagine the anger that Jake had felt when he saw the two of us together like he said. Honestly, I was surprised we were both still alive.

As I made my last few steps toward the door, I allowed a few tears to fall, knowing I would never see Reed again. That one thought hurt more than anything I had ever been through with Jake.

When I pushed the door open, I entered a dark alley and saw two familiar faces standing under a streetlamp at the end of it. Jason and Eric, two of Jake's men, stood there staring in my direction. They never even made eye contact with me. I was assuming they knew my fate and it was too difficult for them to face me, or maybe they just didn't care at all. It didn't surprise me too much; I was used to them looking the other way.

Up until about a year ago, all of Jake's men turned the other way. No one was stupid enough to stand up to him. They knew the consequences if they did. I never knew of Jake killing anyone, but I knew there were men on his team that left one day and never returned. I can only imagine what happened to them. I thought his men would always turn the other way—that is until one day when Mike intervened.

Jake's hand was just a few inches from making contact with my face when Mike grabbed his wrist, stopping him. I remembered cowering in the corner, thinking I was about to witness Jake kill Mike.

They had stared at one another for a moment before Mike said, "I think that's enough."

Jake narrowed his eyes on him. I thought for sure that Mike was a dead man in just a matter of seconds. Surprisingly, Jake just stormed out of the room.

Mike helped me to my feet. “He’s not going to hurt you again. I’ve seen too much of it and I can’t take it anymore.”

“Mike, you shouldn’t have done that. He won’t let you get away with it. He’ll kill you.”

“Don’t you worry about me. I’ll be fine. It’s you we have to worry about.”

Even though I was thankful, I never understood why Jake let Mike live to see another day.

Now snapped back to the present, I stopped when I came within a few feet of Jason and Eric. I wasn’t sure why I stopped or what I was waiting for. I was expecting them to take me by the arm and shove me into the car that was running and waiting behind them. Then, my eyes were drawn to a third person who appeared out of the shadows. Jake.

Thump. Thump. Thump. My heart beat wildly and I fought the urge to run, but I didn't want to do anything to put Reed's life at risk.

Jake took a couple steps toward me and I could see through the darkness that he was holding a phone up to his ear.

"I've got her, Rico. You can kill him now, but do it quietly."

"No!" I shouted, lunging toward him. "I did what you asked. Let him go! Please! I'll do whatever you want!"

Jake shoved the phone back into his pocket and grabbed me by the arm. "Maybe now you will feel an ounce of the pain I've been through the last few months. Now you'll know what it feels like to have your heart ripped out of your chest."

"No! No! Please, I'll come with you. I won't ever leave you again. I promise. Please, just don't hurt him!" My voice was hoarse, strained. My knees gave out from under me and I felt myself falling to the ground. Jake jerked me back up and started dragging me toward the car. Jason held the backdoor open while Eric jogged quickly toward the driver’s side.

This was it. He was going to drive me somewhere and kill me. Then, all of a sudden, like a light switch, the strangest thing happened. I went numb. I found myself not even caring enough about my own safety to scream for help, run away, or fight back. Just knowing what had happened to Reed, I went completely numb. I felt nothing. Maybe it was my body’s way of trying to protect itself from the pain, or maybe it was just straight-out denial and shock.

Jake shoved me in the backseat and my head hit the window on the other side, snapping me out of my numbness. A powerful sob escaped me and I covered my mouth as Jake crawled in beside me. My stomach turned; I felt like I was going to be sick. Jake had found me. Reed had been killed. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run. I wanted to get as far away from Jake as possible.

As hard as I tried, I couldn't get the image of Reed's face out of my head. Then my thoughts turned to Lexi. She had already been through so much, lost everyone she'd loved, and now Reed… I wasn't sure she would recover when she found out what happened to him. Once she found out I was responsible, there was a good chance she would never forgive me either.

Not able to hold it back, another agonizing cry left my mouth.

"I swear to God, Emily, keep your mouth shut or I'll send Rico to kill your friend Lexi and her muscle-headed boyfriend, too."

He knew about everyone I’d gotten close to here in New York. I shouldn’t be surprised. I expected nothing less.

I swallowed my tears and took in a deep, shaky breath. I knew what he was capable of and I believed he would kill everyone I cared about.

The seconds passed as I sat there in silence, trying to go back to that numb place. Trying to forget about everything… Lexi, Brandon, Reed. I tried to push all of their faces out of my head. After a few long, torturous minutes, I could feel myself shutting down, starting to become hollow and empty.

At least, for the last few months, I tasted what life was supposed to be, what really caring for someone felt like, and what it felt like to be cared for. Now, in just a matter of seconds, Jake had taken it all away.

The guilt I was feeling made it easy to go to that dark and lonely place. If I had just kept to myself, not allowed anyone close to me, then no one would've gotten hurt. I was a curse. It took a few minutes of me repeating this over and over in my head before the nothingness began to eat away at me. I could feel myself drifting farther into a dark hole, faster with each second that passed. The pain that I felt in my chest right now—all over my body—I almost wished for Jake to kill me. Anything would be better than this torture.

"Do you have nothing to say to me?" Jake asked as I felt the car come to a stop. For a split second, the thought of opening the car door and trying to run entered my mind. Then I pictured Lexi's face and the thought immediately vanished. There was nothing I would do to put her life in danger, too. The car began to move again. I didn't even wonder where we were going. I didn't care.

"Well?" he asked, his tone harsh, bitter.

I didn't respond or look in his direction. My eyes were focused out the window, staring at the people laughing across the street, the couple walking and holding hands, the father and son hanging Christmas lights.

"You are such an ungrateful little bitch. All I've done for you, everything I've given you, and then you leave me. You put me through all this pain, and now, after I spent months searching for you, you say nothing to me."

Is he serious? Normally when he would speak to me like this, I would cower down and brace for the punishment. I would sit still and hope that whatever he wanted to do to me would be quick. Now, with everything that had happened, I felt anger. Deep-rooted, built-up hatred began to course through my veins.

This asshole, in his twisted head, actually thinks he deserves love? He thinks he deserves gratitude? He actually thinks he deserves thanks and appreciation for the way he's treated me? In the past, I knew Jake suffered from some very dark demons. I knew that he couldn't be all there in his mind, because what kind of person would treat another human being like he treated me? After hearing him talk to me just now, I knew he was more evil than I ever imagined.

Turning my head toward him and looking him directly in the eyes, I told him what I wanted to tell him every day for the past few years. "I hate you. I hated every minute of the three years of my life that I spent with you. My stomach actually felt ill every time you touched me, when you kissed me, when you told me you loved me. There was a small moment in time when I thought I loved you, but that was before I knew what kind of monster you really are. That's when I was weak and naive. That's when I didn't know what it was truly like to actually love someone. There's nothing you could ever do or say that will make me care for you or think of you as any more than a weak, cowardly, and pathetic piece of scum." I could feel my bottom lip quiver when I stopped speaking, but it wasn't from fear. It was from anger.

I wanted to hurt him. I wanted him to pay for what he'd done to me. To Mike. To Reed. As I sat there and looked into his cold, dark eyes, I wanted nothing more than to squeeze the life out of them.

"Look at you." He smiled, which only increased the anger inside me. "You've gotten brave, but don't forget what I could do to you and your friends. I could've killed you days ago. I could have killed you hours ago. I could kill you right now if I wanted to. So watch what you say to me."

My eyes narrowed and I tried to mimic the cold stare he was giving me. "You can't hurt me any more than I'm hurting right now. I don't care what you do to me." I wasn't sure how, but my voice came out steady and strong.

He glared at me, pursing his lips, trying to hold back his anger.

"Don't fight it. If you're going to kill me, do it," I said even louder this time. I had already come to terms with my fate. I probably wouldn't live to see another day, but one thing was for sure; I wasn't going to go down without a fight.

"Oh, I plan on it. You just wait. Have patience, my sweet Emily. Just you wait." He sat back in his seat, looking forward.