Lucy Gordon - The Italian’s Rightful Bride

She was stunned. Had she been so absorbed by her own feelings that she’d failed to appreciate that Gustavo placed his own value on their relationship, a different one from hers?

For the first time it struck her that there had been something self-centred in her love. She’d fallen for Prince Charming, but she’d had no insight into the thoughts of the real man.

‘Of course,’ he added, ‘years spent living with a woman who couldn’t have cared less what I was thinking may have heightened my impression of you. Joanna, I can’t tell you what it’s like seeing you again. When Carlo told me he’d made an arrangement with Mrs Manton I had no idea it would be you.’

‘And you’re not sorry that it is?’

‘Of course not. It’s marvellous to me that we should have met again like this. I’ve thought of you so often through the years.’

Joanna turned a wry, disbelieving face towards him, making him ask, ‘Why do you look at me like that?’

‘I should think I’m the last person you’d want to remember.’

‘Why? We had no quarrel. I have only the kindest memories of you. Unless you’re referring to the fact that I behaved badly.’

‘You didn’t. You behaved honestly. And ending our engagement suited me too. You know that.’

‘But not the way it happened, surely?’

‘You mean with me looking like a jilted wallflower?’ she teased. ‘Come on! I was never that. You should have seen me dancing at your wedding?’

‘Yes, I did. Dance after dance with the same man. Who was he, by the way? Nobody I asked seemed to know him.’

She was almost knocked breathless by the discovery that Gustavo had noticed her that day and enquired about her partner. She had thought him oblivious.

‘He was a friend of a friend. He dropped a lot of names, and acted like he belonged there. That’s his style, charming his way through life and being so convincing that nobody challenges him.’

‘You talk as though you know him well.’

‘His name is Freddy Manton,’ she said with the air of a conjurer producing a rabbit from a hat.

‘You mean-?’

‘I married him.’

There was a slight clatter as he set his glass down sharply.

‘Were you in love with him all the time? You jumped at the chance to break up with me because of him?’

‘No way. That was our first meeting. After that I didn’t see him again for a year. Then we bumped into each other again and things happened. It had nothing to do with what happened to you and me.’

‘I see,’ he said slowly, and she couldn’t tell if he was glad or disappointed.

She drained her glass, and Gustavo immediately refilled it for her.

‘Careful,’ she said. ‘I don’t want to get tipsy.’

‘You won’t. I remember what a good head you always had.’

She gave a crack of laughter. ‘What a thing to be remembered for!’

‘I remember everything,’ he said quietly. ‘Everything. Don’t you?’

DID she remember everything? she wondered. What about the things she’d tried so hard to blot out?

‘Yes, I suppose I do,’ she said.

‘One thing that always puzzled me is why you ever let yourself be part of that merry-go-round.’

‘Blame Aunt Lilian,’ she said. ‘She really belonged in the nineteenth century, when things were done that way. I suppose I just got on board and didn’t know how to get off.’

‘Until the last moment, when you jumped off in a panic. Forgive me, Joanna. I never realised that you were being forced.’

‘It wasn’t quite like that,’ she said quickly.

‘I wish I knew exactly how it was. After we broke up I wanted to talk to you before the wedding, but I didn’t know what to say.’

‘There was nothing. It had all been said.’

‘Had it?’ he asked in a low voice. ‘Or could it never be said?’

‘Both, of course. Look-’ she set her glass down, leaned forward and gripped his hands ‘-what’s the point of being wise all these years later? It’s over. It happened. We’re different people now.’

He nodded. ‘It’s strange. I once knew you so well, and now I know nothing about you.’

You’re mistaken, she thought. You never knew the most important thing about me.

‘I’m glad you married,’ he said. ‘I hope you had some good years before your divorce. You deserve the best.’

‘That’s nice of you.’

‘I’m not just saying it. I still remember your generosity. If you only knew how much I admired you at that time. You were strong and I was-’ he shrugged ‘-I just had to put myself in your hands.’

‘And you hated that,’ she said wryly.

‘Now you make me sound churlish. But a man doesn’t like to think of himself as hiding behind a woman’s skirts like a weakling.’

‘Does it make you a weakling to accept help? I was simply better placed to do the talking. Besides, isn’t love supposed to make strong men weak? And heaven knows, you were madly in love with Crystal.’

‘Yes,’ he said solemnly.

She waited to see if he would say more, but a heaviness seemed to have come down on him.

She sat on the stone railing, raising one leg to rest her arm against the knee, and looked out over the scene.

Looking at her confused him. She was Joanna and yet not Joanna. The girl of long ago was still there, but only as a faint ghost. The woman of today had a glamour and confidence that girl had never dreamed of.

He’d watched her over dinner, fascinated by the way she had turned into a beauty, her light tan emphasising her large grey eyes and making her smile flash.

But it was more than that, more than the silk and velvet of her clothes or the real gold in her ears. She had made a success of her life, donning authority like a cloak and walking through the world with a superior air.

They called her ‘Boss!’ and it was only half a joke. She had earned the title, not inherited it. He felt at a disadvantage, and that brought a memory back.

‘Do you remember the night you came out here before?’ he asked.

‘Maybe,’ she said dreamily.

‘I saw you here, sitting just where you are now, and I wanted to come and talk to you but you seemed so absorbed in your own world that I couldn’t bear to disturb you.’

‘Oh,’ she said softly.

‘I did come out in the end-but it was all wrong.’

‘I remember that we didn’t say much.’

‘I had an odd feeling that you wanted to tell me something, but you never did, so I guess I was mistaken.’

She was silent, recalling that night and how awkward their conversation had been. How astute of him to have sensed that there were words she longed to say! How blind not to have realised that they were words of love!

From deep in the woods the owl hooted again.

‘There was an owl that night too,’ she said, smiling. ‘That one’s probably descended from it. Nothing ever really changes here, does it? That was one of the things I loved about the place.’

‘Nothing changes,’ he agreed. ‘And everything changes.’

‘Yes,’ she said after a moment. ‘Everything changes.’

Then, for a while, there was nothing more to say.

Joanna found herself pervaded by an unexpected sense of peace and contentment. She felt that she could sit here forever.

Gustavo remained in a chair, watching her as she looked out over the darkened landscape, her hair lifted by the slight breeze that was so welcome at the end of a hot day.

Once she turned her head towards him and smiled, but they did not speak. Time seemed to slip past without her noticing, and she was startled to see the first streaks of light in the sky.

‘Is that the dawn?’ she asked.

‘Yes, but it’s only about four o’clock.’

‘That’s right. I used to stand at my bedroom window and watch it happen. It was glorious.’

‘I expect you were dreaming of the great lost palace even then,’ he said with a smile.

She had been dreaming of him, and the life they would have together. But she only nodded.

‘That palace has filled my dreams,’ she agreed. ‘Being the one to uncover it means everything to me. I remember the day you told me about it, and took me to the place where it was supposed to have stood, fifteen hundred years ago.’

‘But that wasn’t the right place, was it?’ he said.

‘According to all the books it should have been there. Only the real thing turned out to be about half a mile away. Carlo said it was found by chance, when some of the earth settled, leaving a dent in the ground.’

‘That’s right. I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you arrived. I’d have liked to be the one to take you there, and see your face.’

‘I probably looked like a child on Christmas Day.’

‘Yes, that’s what I’d have enjoyed. I remember you as always so cool and composed. It would be delightful to see you bouncing up and down with excitement.’

Suddenly he stirred.

‘Let me take you there now, Joanna, before the rest of the world awakens.’

‘All right,’ she said eagerly.

It took him five minutes to bring his car around, and together they drove slowly over the gradually lightening land.

At last the site came into view, dim and silent in the soft grey morning. They got out and went to stand looking over it.

‘It’s a slow business,’ she told him. ‘It’s only at this end that we’ve uncovered very much in the way of foundations. Over there it’s still covered in grass. We have to take it slowly to make sure that we preserve as much as possible in good condition.’

‘How many times have I walked or ridden over this piece of land, and never suspected?’ he mused. ‘It just looked like everywhere else, but now, if I’m lucky, it might be my salvation.’

‘In what sense?’

‘I have to repay my debt to Crystal. When we married she put a lot of money into this place. Now she wants it all back. Of course, she’s entitled to it, so I have to raise the cash somehow.’