He tightened his arms a fraction and pressed a kiss to her cheek. When he spoke, his voice was rough and intimate, bare. “The crazy thing is, even after all he’s done, even with how much I’m ashamed of him and hate him, I still miss him. He’s my dad. My dad is a lying, cheating criminal, and I love him.”

Stella had no words for Michael at that point, so she continued to hold him. What did you say when someone hurt like this? All she could do was rest her beating heart next to his and hurt with him.

After a moment and an eternity, Michael pulled away. Wiping at the tears on her cheeks, he said, “I accepted your proposal because I wanted to help you with your issues, and it’s clear we’ve worked through them. You’re ready for a real relationship now. If some bastard doesn’t want you because you’re autistic, he doesn’t deserve you. Do you hear me? You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

The blood drained from her face, and her heart stopped beating. “You know?”

He smiled slightly. “I figured it out after that first night at my mom’s.”

He’d known all this time? Was that good or bad? She didn’t know. “You want to leave?” she heard herself ask.

“It’s time for me to move on, Stella. We’re not giving each other all the things we need.”

She understood at once he meant her, that she wasn’t enough for him. Because of who and what she was, her impairments and eccentricities, her label.

Black hopelessness dragged her down. It had been naïve of her to hope she could seduce him. Her chin quivered, and she bit the inside of her lip to still the motion. “I see.”

He brushed his fingertips across her cheek, tucked tendrils of hair behind her ear. “You need more than sex, and I can’t give you those things.”

She looked down at her shoes. Maybe it had just been sex for him, but for her, as pathetic as it sounded, it had felt like love.

He smoothed warm hands down her cold arms and squeezed her hands. “Thank you for these past months. They were special to me.”

Not special enough.

“Thank you, Michael. For helping me with my anxiety issues.”

“Promise you won’t be hiring more escorts after this.”

“No more escorts. I promise.” There was only one escort she wanted.

“Good girl.” He breathed a kiss into her hair. “I’m going to go now.”

“I can drive you home.” She didn’t want them to part yet.

“I’d prefer to call a cab. I want to clear my things from your place, and it’s better if you’re not there when I do that. Take care, okay?”

“Okay.”

He dug her key fob, phone, and cards from his pockets and handed them to her. “Good-bye, Stella.”

“Good-bye, Michael.”

Statue-still and numb, she watched as he left. Then, she turned around and walked inside. Her preference was to go home, but he wanted to collect his things in peace. All other exit strategies were out, as well. The thought of passing by him in the parking lot or on the road filled her eyes with fresh tears.

Better to return to the dinner. It was the last place she wanted to be right now.

After going to the bathroom and fixing her makeup as well as she knew how, she seated herself at the table.

“Where’s Michael, Stella dear?” her mother asked quietly.

“He left. We just broke up.”

Philip smirked.

Aliza cast Stella a pitying glance from the other side of Michael’s empty chair and placed a hand on Stella’s shoulder. “Men like him need to be free, darling.”

Stella pushed Aliza’s hand off without a word.

Her father narrowed his eyes in displeasure. She knew how he felt about any kind of rude behavior. “It’s all for the best.”

For once, her mother had nothing to say. She merely watched Stella with concerned eyes.

“You can do much better,” Philip added. The directness of his gaze said that by better he meant him.

Stella’s knuckles went white as she curled her fingers around her knees. Emotion boiled inside her chest, screaming to get out, but she bit it back.

“I agree,” her father said. “I saw nothing good in that man.”

Sharpness lanced her insides, and her control dissolved. “Then you weren’t looking closely enough. He’s not doing nothing. He’s not lazy. Sometimes there are more important things than passion and ambition. He put his career on hold so he could take care of his mom, who’s dying of cancer. He’s the kind of person who will give up everything for the people he loves, everything. He’s nothing but good.”

And he didn’t want her.

Her father’s face darkened. “Then why didn’t he say so?”

“Why would he want to share that with people who are looking down on him?”

“I wasn’t—”

“That’s enough, Edward,” her mother snapped. “It was obvious what you were thinking. You want her to be with someone driven and career-focused, someone who can take care of her. You don’t seem to realize she’s driven enough on her own, and she doesn’t need someone to take care of her financially. Stella dear, let’s get out of here. The noise is getting to me.”

Her mother held out her hand, and Stella took it, letting herself be led to an empty seating area just outside the banquet room. A massive bouquet of willow branches and calla lilies dominated the low coffee table.

Stella traced the edge of one of the flowers before she sat down and shut her eyes. It was much quieter out here, and some of the tension in her head eased. But the ache in her heart didn’t abate. Instead, it spread outward and intensified, crushing her with hopelessness and defeat. The soft weight of her mother’s hand on her leg had her eyes drifting open.

Her mother embraced her, pulling her into ropes of cool pearls and Chanel No. 5. Stella still didn’t like that strong scent, but in that moment, its familiarity calmed her. She relaxed and let her mother hold her like she had when she was little, not realizing she was crying until her mother hushed her and began rocking side to side.

“I’m so sorry, dear. I’ve always wanted an artist for you, someone sensitive who would put you first. Later, we can think up a strategic way to find the perfect person. You should really try Tinder, dear.”

Even now, her mother was still in honey badger mode. She never gave up.

Stella released a long, ragged breath. “That person was Michael.”

“Don’t get stubborn on me now, Stella. There are billions of people on this planet, and you can’t force love. You’ll find a better fit than him if you stay focused.”

Stella said nothing. Michael was mint chocolate chip for her. She could try other flavors, but he’d always be her favorite.

Her differences always did this. They left her most alone when she was surrounded by people. Usually, she didn’t care. She didn’t need people. She was happiest when she had the space and time to focus on things that interested her. But Michael interested her, and she didn’t feel alone when she was with him. Far from it. The knowledge that it was all one-sided hurt.

“Do you think, Momma, that you could shelve the husband-hunting and grandbaby discussions for a while? I want to make you happy, but I’m really tired right now.”

Her mother squeezed her tighter. “Of course, forget all about grandchildren. I didn’t mean to pressure you. I just want you happy.”

Stella sighed and shut her eyes. She didn’t care about being happy. All she wanted at the moment was to feel nothing.

• • •

The silence in Stella’s house was absolute. Funny how Michael had never noticed it before. When he was here, he was usually busy talking to Stella, listening to her quirky observations, cooking in her massive kitchen and feeding her, kissing her, making love to her . . .

He was going to miss this house. He was going to miss Stella. A lot. He already missed her. He was breaking into pieces from missing her. Ending their arrangement had been the right thing to do, though. She didn’t need his help anymore, and she deserved someone better than him. Someone smarter who didn’t have a criminal for a dad. Someone who could impress her parents and didn’t run into past clients when they went out to dinner.

That reminded him that he’d be back to regular escorting next Friday. The thought held absolutely no appeal. He wasn’t even sure if he could get a hard-on for someone else at this point. All he wanted was Stella smell and Stella taste and Stella skin. His body had tuned itself to fit her, and nothing else would do. The old fantasies that used to interest him were now dull and boring. He’d developed a new kink, and it involved a shy girl who daydreamed about economics.

He sat down on Stella’s bed and rested his face in his palms. This was his last time sitting here. Fuck it all, another man would be sleeping in this bed soon. Wretched ugly feelings rose. Stella was his to kiss, his to touch, his to love. He wanted to tear the blankets off the bed and shred everything to pieces. If he couldn’t have it, no one could. She could get a new fucking bed.

Fisting his hands, he made himself go to the closet before he could lay waste to her bedroom. He stuffed T-shirts and jeans into his sports bag before moving to the underwear drawer. He wanted to get this done so he could leave. Socks piled into the bag, followed by neatly folded boxers. At the bottom of the drawer, he encountered an unopened package. The exact brand and size of boxers he used, though he usually purchased navy blue and these were red. A bow was tied around it.

Stella had bought him underwear.

It was the first gift she’d given him. How funny. Had she thought his were getting worn out? Maybe they were. He tossed the package into his sports bag and zipped it up. They weren’t very expensive, and she certainly wasn’t going to use them herself. She’d bought them for him, and he was going to keep them.