‘To leave you, Lydia, will tear my heart into a thousand pieces. But I can stay no longer. It is dangerous for you. I love you too much to risk that.’

She held him close. Said nothing. She was frightened the wrong words would come out.

He caressed her ear with his fingertips. ‘I must leave Junchow…’

Everything inside her started to hurt.

‘… but it will be hard. Kuomintang troops check every road in or out. That means I must find somewhere else to hide…’

She breathed.

‘… until I’m strong enough to swim the river.’

She closed her eyes.

‘Kiss me,’ she whispered.

His lips came instantly to her mouth and his tongue found hers, soft and sensuous. His hand moved down between her legs, stroking the silky inner thigh. They didn’t hurry, just took their time. In the moonlight.


They agreed he would leave before dawn. She had brought what was left of the two hundred dollars and hidden part of it in his leather satchel, part bandaged to his thigh and part tucked inside his boot.

‘No rickshaw,’ he warned.

‘Why not?’

‘The pullers have loose tongues. They are in the pay of the tongs. Black Snakes could track me. And you. I’ll walk.’

‘I’ll get Liev,’ she said quickly.

‘No, my beloved. I want help from no one who leads to you. You see? I escaped from Po Chu. The loss of face will be worse than a blade in his belly and he will work to destroy anyone who…’

She put a finger to his lips and nestled close under the blankets. ‘Sleep,’ she murmured. ‘It’s not dawn yet. Sleep. Grow strong.’ Their bodies clung together.

But when the first hint of grey tinged the skylight, Lydia knew Chang An Lo would be going nowhere today. The fever was back.

45

‘This room smells odd,’ Valentina remarked.

She was wandering around Lydia’s bedroom, picking things up, putting them down, plucking copper-coloured hairs from a hairbrush, straightening the curtain.

‘It’s herbs. I tried out some Chinese herbal teas while you were away.’

‘What on earth for?’

Lydia shrugged. ‘No reason.’

She was sitting on the edge of the bed feeling tense. Her gaze repeatedly scoured the room for any telltale signs, but there was nothing that she could spot. She wondered what her mother wanted. After a rather stilted family breakfast all together, Lydia had bolted upstairs but soon afterward Valentina had drifted in. She was wearing a red wool dress that skimmed her slender figure and made her dark bob look more dramatic. On her wrist was a new bracelet of carved ivory. Lydia thought she looked tired. Finally her mother came to a stop by the window and perched on the sill, facing her daughter. Outside it was snowing again.

‘So who is he?’

‘What?’

‘Who is the lucky young man?’

Lydia’s pulse kicked erratically. ‘What on earth do you mean, Mama?’

‘Dochenka, I am not blind.’

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’

Valentina reached into the pocket of her dress and for one awful moment Lydia thought she was going to bring out some piece of incriminating evidence, but it was only her cigarette case and lighter. She selected a cigarette, tapped its end on the tortoiseshell case before lighting it, and exhaled a plume of smoke in Lydia’s direction.

‘Sweetheart, have you looked in a mirror lately?’

Lydia glanced at the mirror in the front of her wardrobe, but all she saw reflected was her white nightdress on the chair. Suddenly she was nervous there might be blood on it.

‘Mama, I want to go and feed Sun Yat-sen now. Is this important? ’

‘Ah, my wicked little liar. What were you up to last night? Don’t look so shocked. I know you went to the shed.’

Lydia felt her palms grow moist. She brushed them over the eiderdown. ‘How?’

Valentina laughed. ‘Because I couldn’t sleep. I came in to see if you were lying awake, like in the old days in the attic, but you weren’t here, naughty girl.’

‘Oh.’

‘Don’t you oh me. You disobeyed Alfred. You went to feed your precious piece of vermin when you thought we were asleep, didn’t you?’

‘Yes.’ It came out as a whisper.

‘Dochenka, a rabbit is not worth making trouble between you and your stepfather.’

A heavy silence stilled the room.

‘Is it, Lydia?’

‘Of course not, Mama.’

‘Now,’ Valentina took a long drag on her cigarette and pointed its glowing tip straight at Lydia, ‘tell me who has got you looking like someone’s lit a fire inside you. Come on, darling, tell your mama.’

Lydia could feel her cheeks flush. ‘I don’t know what you…’

‘Don’t be such a ninny, Lydia. You think I can’t see? That I haven’t got eyes? You and Alfred staring across the table over your tea and toast. You’ve both got it bad.’ She shook her head, setting her hair swinging in a girlish way. ‘The pair of you.’

‘Got what bad?’

‘Love.’

Lydia almost choked. ‘Mama, don’t be absurd.’

Her mother made a funny little grimace. ‘You think I don’t remember what it feels like? Lydia, my sweet child, you have changed.’

‘How?’

‘Your eyes shine and your skin glows and you give secret little smiles when you think no one is looking. Even your walk is different. So who is this fellow? Tell your mama. A boy from your class at school who has taken your fancy?’

‘Of course not,’ Lydia said scornfully.

‘Then who?’

‘Oh, Mama, just someone I met.’

Valentina came over and sat down on the apricot quilt beside her daughter. She took Lydia’s face between her hands and looked into her eyes with a dark and solemn expression. ‘Whoever it is, you can keep it a secret if you must, but listen to me. No messing. You hear me? No messing with him. You have school to finish and university to go to, maybe even Oxford if we can get you to England in time. That’s our plan, remember? So…,’ she shook Lydia’s head slowly from side to side, ‘you obey me this time, girl. No messing, absolutely none.’

‘Yes, Mama.’

‘Good. I’m glad we’ve got that straight.’

Lydia tried out a small smile and Valentina laughed. ‘Don’t fret, we’ll leave it there for now. But you tell him from me that I’ll dig his eyes out with a rusty spoon if he ever hurts my daughter’s heart.’

‘Don’t be silly, Mama.’ But she gave her mother a quick hug. ‘I missed you,’ she murmured.

‘Oh yes? Like a cat misses a dog!’

Lydia held her mother’s hand on her lap. It was the right hand, the one without the diamond ring, the one Lydia preferred.

‘And you?’ she asked. ‘Are you happy, Mama? With Alfred, I mean.’

Valentina abruptly put on her enthusiastic face. ‘Oh yes, darling, he is an angel. The sweetest, dearest man who ever lived.’

‘And he adores you.’

‘That too.’

‘I want you to be happy.’

‘Sweetheart, I am. Really, look at me.’ She demonstrated with a big wide smile. She looked so lovely it was hard to believe it was anything but real. Only her dark eyes didn’t sparkle.

‘You’ll have all sorts of nice things now. Just like you wanted.’

‘Just like I wanted,’ Valentina said. She stabbed out her stub in a glass dish on Lydia’s bedside table and lit herself another. ‘But there’s one thing dear Alfred wants me to have that I don’t want.’

‘What’s that?’

‘A baby.’

Lydia’s mouth dropped open.

‘You look like I feel about it, darling. Don’t worry, it won’t happen. Oh for heaven’s sake, what’s the matter? Why are you crying?’

‘A baby,’ Lydia whispered as she wiped her face with the back of her hand. ‘I’d have a brother. Or a sister.’ It had never entered her head as a possibility before, but of course her mother was still young enough. ‘Mama, that would be wonderful. You’d love it.’ She tried to give her an excited kiss, but Valentina pushed her away.

‘What? You’re crazy, dochenka.’

‘No, I’m not. It would be perfect. And I’d help you.’

‘What do you know about babies?’

‘Nothing, but I’d learn. Oh please, Mama, say yes. Tell Alfred. Yes. And he’d pay for an amah to do all the mucky work, so it wouldn’t be too hard on you and I’d sing to him, or to her, the way you used to when…’

‘Stop. Stop right now, little one.’ Valentina chafed Lydia’s hand between her own and said with an odd little grimace, ‘I had no idea. That you would react like this. Are you so lonely?’

‘No. But it would be… special. A brother or sister to love.’

‘As good as your filthy rabbit, you mean?’

Lydia grinned at her. ‘Not quite. But nearly.’

‘God preserve me.’

They laughed together and for a moment Lydia thought seriously of telling her the truth about the shed. But with a sudden switch of mood her mother’s eyes widened in horror. She jumped to her feet and faced Lydia with hands on hips.

‘It’s not that Serov boy, is it?’

‘What?’

‘Sweet Christ, I saw him drive away as we arrived home yesterday. Tell me he’s not the one who has got you wagging your tail like a bitch in heat.’

‘Mama! Don’t be…’

‘Tell me.’ Valentina seized Lydia’s wrist and yanked her to her feet. ‘Not him. You stay away from him.’

‘No, of course it’s not him.’ She snatched back her wrist and rubbed it. ‘I can’t stand Alexei Serov.’

Valentina narrowed her eyes again and glared at Lydia. ‘Oh, dochenka. God strike your tongue black. How do I know when to believe you? You are such a good liar.’

The doorbell rang.


Too many voices. That’s what alarmed Lydia. This couldn’t be a visit by one of Alfred’s friends because they would all expect him to be still on his honeymoon. No, this was something else. Something worse. Silently she moved out onto the landing and peered over the polished banister rail to stare down into the hall. That’s when her lungs seemed to collapse inside her. This wasn’t just worse. This was as bad as it could get. The narrow space was full of uniforms.