The suggestion came up the first time he brought her to his penthouse apartment, figuring it gave him the home-field advantage. Her place was nice, but didn’t possess the same luxurious opulence his did. He would woo her with amenities and then present her with an offer she couldn’t refuse.

As he showed her around, all Amanda noticed was how big everything was. She fleetingly wondered if the elevator they took to get there was secretly located inside a beanstalk. From his bulky square furniture to his eighty-inch-screen television to his choice of artwork, everything appeared oversized. Even the clocks were huge. She noted she would likely need a tugboat to get her in and out of his bed.

“I want you come on the road with me,” he told her once they settled back in the living room.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been to Arizona,” she replied after sinking into his enormous couch, then struggling to sit back up and perch herself on the edge. She tried to make it look smooth by toying with what appeared to be a ten-pound remote that was sitting on the football-field-sized coffee table in front of her.

“I’m not talking about this trip,” he said. “I mean all of them.”

She stopped what she was doing as she looked up at him. She didn’t know if he was still standing to be daunting, but in response to it, she stood back up as well.

“You’re serious?”

“Some things you don’t kid about,” he told her.

Amanda walked past him to the windows looking out onto Central Park. Here it comes, she thought. The slow disintegration of everything that was important in her life to accommodate every notion of his. He didn’t even ask if this was something she’d be interested in; it was issued, more like a mandate. She crossed her arms over her chest and turned to face him.

“I already have a career,” she told him, unable to keep the disdain out of her voice. “Looking after yours isn’t what I had in mind. I didn’t spend four years in college to carry your bags.”

“I can look after my own career, thank you very much,” he replied defensively. “And I haven’t touched my own bags in years.”

“Thanks for the clarification. You have the nerve to sound surprised. I realize that most women would jump at the chance to be your kept little plaything, but I think I’m going to have to pass.”

She was annoyed with him, and he struggled between the disappointment of her refusal and wanting to tell her he was trying to find a solution to his real issue, which he now felt the urge to reveal in a very real and disciplinary way. He loved that she had a mind of her own and that she didn’t look at him as some sort of gravy train. But he wanted her to bend to his will on this, which he hardly considered a sacrifice. He knew he couldn’t have it both ways. Chase held up his hands. “Whoa. Back up. Let’s start this over. Yes, I do want you with me, Amanda, but not because of the reasons you’re thinking. It’s not about keeping you. I want you there because I never want to be without you. I want to be able to see you in the stands when I’m playing ball, because it’s the closest we can get to you being able to play with me. I want you to be the last thing I see every night and the first thing I see every morning. Yeah, I guess it is selfish, but it’s not because I want you to cater to me.”

He had returned to being disarming and noble, but for the first time Amanda felt like it was contrived.

“Those sound like wonderfully romantic intentions,” she said.

“Most women would think they are.”

“Then why do I suddenly feel like we’re in the middle of a showdown?”

“Because stubborn is your middle name,” he grumbled, looking away and asking himself when exactly coward had become his.

Amanda felt his tension. It had to be hard for him, being shot down in such a fashion, especially when he was offering her something that would appear to be the ultimate in spoiling to anyone else. She approached him and wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her forehead on his chest until he returned the embrace and relaxed.

“It’s moving too fast,” she told him honestly.

Chase wanted to yell that her excuse was lame, they had been moving at a snail’s pace since they met. He wanted to bellow until the walls came down how dare she refuse him and the real reason he made the offer was because she was too genteel to give him what he wanted, and it seemed like the only viable solution. He wanted to follow that up by forcefully taking it, with her kicking and screaming until she submitted to him. He wished he had the strength to go and seek what she withheld from another avenue. But he was caught within her web of beauty and desire. He took her head in his hands and tilted it up toward his, praying that none of his thoughts was conveyed through his eyes.

“I understand,” he told her before lowering his lips to hers and taking her right there on his couch, without bothering to remove her clothes.

He left for Arizona the next day without her and embarked on the worst play of his baseball career. He made several errors, lost all focus and timing at the plate. The ball seemed to be in the catcher’s mitt before he even started to swing. His all-star average started dropping rapidly and there was a real danger of losing his spot in the batting order.

It didn’t take long before the conundrum began overshadowing his every waking thought. Overcautious soon turned into temperamental. There was nowhere for him to find release. He didn’t want to blame her, so instead became moody whenever they were alone. He was aggressive and demanding when they made love. Amada felt guilty although she wasn’t sure why. There was something wrong between them that she could reach out and touch, but he wouldn’t let her in or share it.

After two weeks of his increasing alienation and an agonizing Tuesday night of watching him struggle at the plate, Amanda had had enough. They went back to his apartment and his sulking continued.

“Chase, I’m tired of playing this game. Trying to figure out what’s wrong with you. You’ve been checked out for, like, a week now. Your strained politeness is starting to get on my nerves. If I’ve done something wrong, just tell me.”

The only thing she had done wrong was become his obsession. And she had just caught him obsessing how because of her, his life was now out of control.

“I’m not always in front of a camera, Amanda. I don’t always have to be on, do I? I’m in a slump; it puts me in a bad mood.” Slump. Shit. He said it. It had just slipped out. He wasn’t ready to give voice to it yet. Once he acknowledged it, it was free to run roughshod over him until he confronted what it was that caused it. But if he had that confrontation and it played out wrong, he could end up losing it all. He didn’t want to confront it, even though it was standing right in front of him. But stripping it naked and making love to it wasn’t going to solve the problem, either. He wanted to share his deepest, darkest secrets with her, but he had waited too long to take the risk. He was so far beyond that now. He needed her, ached for her above all else. And he didn’t want to tell her like this, with hostility the motivating undercurrent.

“Funny how you used the word slump there,” she said, tuning right into his superstition.

His voice took on more of an edge. “It’s a baseball term, for times when a player isn’t hitting the ball.”

“Yes, I know. Ever have one before?”

“Not that I can remember,” he grumbled irritably.

“Didn’t you once tell me that slumps often occur with major changes?”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that you have a girlfriend. That’s pretty major. I think I heard someone call me Jessica Simpson the other day. That just won’t do, I’d have to stop wearing her line. Maybe we should cut back on some of the time we spend together?”

She didn’t really want to be without him. The thought alone was a depressing one. But maybe he was ready for a change and didn’t know how to tell her. She could test him with the opportunity and see if he made any move toward it; then all she’d have to make was a heartbreaking decision. She had no intention of being his hometown stadium girl as he coasted from city to city. And if all he needed was some alone time to get him back on his game, she was willing to make the sacrifice. Anything would be better than the cloud of surly that now followed them around.

“Out of the question,” he instantly rebuffed, more like a bark, as if she were daft for making the suggestion.

“Thanks for giving it consideration,” she replied with a touch of sarcasm.

“I don’t need to consider it,” Chase continued heatedly. “It’s not going to make things better. If you were really concerned about helping me out, you’d start packing your bags.”

He wasn’t talking about breaking up with her. And she really was flattered that he wanted her so close. “I worked really hard to build up the Cold Creek,” she said, trying to let him down easy and keep him from getting further agitated. It was the first time he’d mentioned it since he brought it up the first time.

“I know you did,” he admitted, trying not to convey the built-up resentment. “I’m not insisting on it, am I? You asked me what’s wrong, I’m telling you.”

“Insisting?” Amanda blinked indignantly. “When did I give you that sort of license?”

“You didn’t,” he quickly clarified angrily. “I just couldn’t think of a better word. Don’t read into it.”

“So the alternative is I get to deal with your bad mood till you spank one out of the park?”

Spank. One out of the park. When one of the guys on SportsCenter said it, it didn’t have the same effect. But she had introduced it into conversation and so casually. The one word he’d been thinking all night. The word he imagined he heard coming from her lips on a daily basis. But she was being rational and capable. She wasn’t saying it to turn him on. She wasn’t trying to antagonize him, either. He knew he was acting off. Why didn’t he just come out and tell her? Because he needed to believe he was bigger than his secret. He couldn’t bear the thought of her reaction if she wasn’t into it. The look of distaste or, worse yet, revulsion as her opinion of him diminished right before his eyes. Or the capper being she indulged him and then cut him loose after labeling him a pervert. For the first time in his adult life, he questioned his ability to make the right decision.