"I was mowing the grass in the front yard."

She nodded. "It was one of those Indian summer days, and you were sweaty, just like you are now. I was so busy looking at you that I didn't see your neighbor's car parked on the street."

"You scraped the side."

"And you came running over to help." She hugged herself. "When you realized who I was, you looked at me like you hated me."

"I couldn't believe it was you."

"Maida never confronted me about it, so I knew you hadn't told them." She tried to read his expression, but he wasn't giving anything away. He nudged aside a fallen branch with the toe of his running shoe.

"She died a year ago. Why did you wait until now to tell me all this?"

She stared at him and shook her head. "How many times did I call and try to talk to you? You refused, Kevin. Every time."

He gazed at her. "They should have told me they wouldn't let you see me."

"Did you ever ask them about it?"

He shrugged, and she knew he hadn't.

"I think John might have said something, but Maida would never have allowed it. We talked about it over the phone. You have to remember that she was older than all your friends' mothers, and she knew she wasn't one of those fun moms every kid wants. It made her insecure. Besides, you were a headstrong kid. Do you really think you'd have shrugged it off and gone about your business if you'd known how much I wanted to see you?"

"I'd have been on the first bus to L.A.," he said flatly.

"And that would have broken her heart."

She waited, hoping he'd come nearer. She fantasized that he'd let her put her arms around him and all the lost years would vanish. Instead, he bent to pick up one of the pinecones lying on the ground.

"We had a TV in the basement. I went down there every week to watch your show. I always turned the volume low, but they knew what I was doing. They never said a word about it."

"I don't suppose they would have."

He rubbed his thumb over the scales. His hostility was gone, but not his tension, and she knew the reunion she'd dreamed of wasn't going to happen.

"So what am I supposed to do about all this now?"

The fact that he had to ask the question showed that he wasn't ready to give her anything. She couldn't touch him, couldn't tell him she'd loved him from the moment of his birth and had never stopped. Instead, she only said, "I guess that'll be up to you."

He nodded slowly, then dropped the pinecone. "Now that you've told me, are you going to leave?"

Neither his expression nor his tone gave her a cue how he wanted her to respond, and she wouldn't ask. "I'm going to finish planting the annuals I bought. A few more days."

It was a lame excuse, but he nodded and turned toward the path. "I need to take a shower."

He hadn't ordered her to leave. He hadn't told her this had come too late. She decided it was enough for now.

Kevin found Molly perched in her favorite spot, the glider on the back porch of the cottage, a notebook on her thighs. It hurt too much to think about Lilly's earthshaking revelations, so he stood in the doorway gazing at Molly instead. She must not have heard him come in because she didn't look up. On the other hand, he'd been acting like such a jerk there was a good chance she was ignoring him, but how was he supposed to behave when Molly kept hatching up all these zany adventures without a clue how being near her affected him?

Did she think it was easy watching her splash around in that skimpy one-piece black bathing suit he'd had to buy her to replace the red one? Did she ever once glance down to see what happened to her breasts when she got cold? The legs of the suit were cut so high they practically begged him to slip his hands underneath so he could cup those round little cheeks. And she had the gall to be mad at him because he'd been ignoring her! Didn't she understand he couldn't ignore her?

He wanted to push aside the notebook she was writing in, toss her over his shoulder, and carry her straight to the bedroom. Instead, he headed for the bathroom and filled the tub with very cold water, once again cursing the lack of a shower. He washed himself quickly and slipped into clean clothes. All week he'd been driving himself, but it hadn't done a damn bit of good. Despite the carpentry and painting, despite the daily workouts and the miles he'd added to his run, he wanted her more than ever. Even the game films he'd started watching on the TV in the office couldn't hold his attention. He should have moved back into the B &B, but Lilly was there.

A stab of pain shot through him. He couldn't think about her now. Maybe he'd drive into town for another workout in the tiny health club at the inn.

But no, he found himself moving toward the porch, all his vows to stay away from Molly evaporating. As he stepped through the doorway, he realized he was in the only place he could possibly be right now, in the presence of the only person who might understand his confusion over what had just happened.

She gazed up at him, her eyes full of that generous concern she showed for anyone she thought might have a problem. He couldn't spot even a hint of censure toward him for being so surly, although he knew she'd get around to putting him in his place sooner or later.

"Is everything all right?"

He shrugged, not giving away a thing. "We talked."

But she wasn't impressed by his tough-guy act. "Were you your normal repugnant self?"

"I listened to her, if that's what you mean." He knew exactly what she meant, but he wanted her to pull the story out of him. Maybe because he didn't know what she'd find when she did.

She waited.

He wandered toward the screen. The plant she'd hung from a hook brushed against his shoulder. "She told me some things… I don't know… It wasn't exactly the way I thought."

"What way was it?" she asked quietly.

So he told her. Leaving out how muddled his feelings were. Just giving her the facts.

When he was done, she nodded slowly. "I see."

If only he did.

"Now you have to adjust to knowing that what you believed about her wasn't true."

"I thinks she wants…" He shoved his hands into his pockets. "She wants something from me. I can't-" He whirled on her. "Am I supposed to feel this sudden attachment to her? Because I don't!"

Her expression flickered with something that looked almost like pain, and it took her a long time to answer.

"I doubt she expects that right away. Maybe you could start just by getting to know her. She makes quilts, and she's an amazing artist. But she doesn't know that about herself."

"I guess." He jerked his hands from his pockets and did exactly what he'd been trying to avoid since last Friday. "I'm going stir-crazy. There's this place about twenty miles away. Let's get out of here."

He saw right away that she was going to refuse, and he didn't blame her. At the same time he couldn't be alone now, so he whipped the notebook off her lap and pulled her to her feet. "You'll like it."

An hour later the two of them were soaring over the Au Sable River in a sleek little German-built glider.

Chapter 18

Sexual daydreams and fantasies are normal. They're even a healthy way to pass time while you're waiting for the right person to come along. "My Secret Sex Life" for Chik

"It's nice that Kevin finally decided to spend some time with you. Maybe he'll agree to marriage counseling." Amy finished putting the strawberry jam cake on a Wedgwood plate and regarded Molly with her familiar pitying expression.

"We don't need marriage counseling," Kevin snapped as he came through the door with Marmie padding at his feet. They'd just gotten back from their gliding adventure, and his hair was windblown. "What we need is that cake. It's five o'clock, and the guests are waiting for tea."

Amy moved reluctantly toward the door. "Maybe if you'd both pray…"

"The cake!" Kevin growled.

Amy gave Molly a look that indicated she'd done her best but that Molly was hopelessly doomed to life without sex. Then she disappeared.

"You're right," he said. "That kid is irritating. I should have given you a hickey."

This was a topic Molly definitely didn't want to discuss, and she focused all her attention on arranging the tea tray. She hadn't had time to change out of her rumpled clothes or straighten her own windblown hair, but she forced herself not to fidget as Kevin took a few steps closer.

"In case you were worried, Daph… My ears have just about recovered from that scream."

"You were heading right for the trees. And I didn't scream." She picked up the tray and shoved it at him. "I squeaked."

"One hell of a squeak. And we weren't anyplace near the trees."

"I believe that our female guests are anxiously awaiting you."

He grimaced and disappeared with Marmie.

She smiled. She shouldn't have been surprised that Kevin was an experienced glider pilot, although she wished he'd mentioned it before they'd taken off. Despite their afternoon together, things weren't much better between them. He hadn't said a word about his interviews that morning, and she couldn't bring herself to ask. He'd also been strangely jumpy. Once she'd accidentally bumped into him, and he'd sprung away as if she'd burned him. If he hadn't wanted her with him, why had he invited her?

She knew the answer. After his confrontation with Lilly, he hadn't wanted to be alone.

The woman who was causing his turmoil slipped into the kitchen through the back door. Uncertainty was written all over her face, and Molly's heart went out to her. During the drive back to the campground, she'd brought up Lilly's name, but Kevin had changed the subject.