‘I need to speak to Gemma,’ Nate started, but the man shook his head.

‘There’s no need. Cady’s mine-not Gemma’s. She had no business bringing him down here so I’m taking him back tomorrow. If Gemma doesn’t want to come with me then she can follow. But she will. Have the boy ready for me by nine.’

And that was that. He walked out and slammed the door behind him.

Cady’s mine-not Gemma’s.

This whole set-up wasn’t making sense. Nate took a few deep breaths, went and checked on Ian just to give himself time to collect his wits-it didn’t work-and finally returned to Gemma’s room. She didn’t look at him as he entered. She was lying flat on her pillows with her arms behind her head and her face set like stone.

The impulse was to walk straight over and take her in his arms, but there was something about that expression… It was a shield all by itself.

‘Gemma…’

‘I’m sorry,’ she said blankly. ‘Nate, I’m sorry.’

‘Do you want to tell me what you’re sorry about?’

‘I thought…I thought he mightn’t want us. I was stupid.’ Still she wouldn’t look at him. It was as if she was afraid of what she might see.

Nate hesitated and then sat down on the bed beside her. He tried to take her hand but she pulled away. Keeping up the shield. ‘Do you want to tell me about it?’

‘No.’

‘I’m a good listener.’

‘And I married Alan. End of story.’ She flung the words at him like a taunt. ‘I never should have… I never dreamed it was possible. You and me. Staying here. It was a crazy idea, doomed from the start.’

‘Because you’re married?’

‘Because I was married.’

‘Right.’ He nodded as if he understood everything. Which he didn’t. ‘Um… You and…’

‘Alan. His name’s Alan Herbert.’

‘Right. But you’re not Mrs Herbert?’

‘I kept my maiden name-for my medicine. And afterwards…’

‘Afterwards?’

‘After we divorced.’

Divorced. That had a good ring to it. Divorced was something at least. But he still didn’t understand. ‘I got the impression,’ Nate said cautiously, ‘that you hadn’t divorced. That you’re returning to Sydney with him in the morning.’

‘He said that?’

‘It’s not true?’ There was a flicker of hope in his voice, quashed immediately by the shake of her head.

‘Oh, it’s true all right.’

‘You’re not still in love with him?’

‘Are you kidding?’ But her voice sounded dead. Like all the life had been sucked out of it. ‘After what he did…’

‘Gemma, you’re going to have to tell me.’

‘You don’t want to know.’

‘Try me.’

She shook her head. Still she refused to look at him. ‘Leave it, Nate.’

‘Is Alan Cady’s father?’

She drew in her breath. ‘Yes.’

‘But Cady is your sister’s son.’

‘That’s the one.’

‘So Fiona and Alan…’

‘Didn’t I tell you?’ she demanded bleakly. ‘Didn’t I make you see? Everything I had, Fiona wanted, and she was like that from the time that I can first remember. My toys, my clothes, my mother’s attention. Then my career-and my husband.’

‘So she and Alan…’

‘Alan was a dreadful choice for a husband,’ she said bitterly. ‘He’s an accountant at Sydney Central. He took me out a couple of times but it was my earning capacity he was interested in. Not me. Only I was too stupid to see it. Then he met Fiona. Well, that was that. He was obsessed, but he was careful. Incredibly careful. Fiona didn’t want anything to do with him, and he hid his obsession well. He became…loving. And I fell for it. I married him.’

‘Which was a nightmare?’

‘Of course it was a nightmare.’ Her voice was devoid of emotion. Deadpan. It was like she was recounting the story of someone she hardly knew. ‘Alan seemed to understand Fiona. Somehow he knew the only way she’d be interested in him was if I loved him. And there was still the fact that I was a good meal ticket. Anaesthetics is one of the best-paid medical specialties in the country, and greed is Alan’s middle name. Those two reasons, greed and Fiona, were why he married me.’ She gave a harsh laugh that was totally devoid of humour. ‘Well, why else? Why else would anyone want the likes of me?’

‘Gemma…’

‘Let me finish,’ she said bleakly. ‘You might as well know the whole sordid business.’

‘Not if it hurts.’

‘It doesn’t hurt.’ And then she shrugged. ‘Who am I kidding? Of course it hurts. It hurts mostly because I was so stupid.’

‘Alan and Fiona…’

‘Were an item almost as soon as we were married,’ Gemma told him. ‘Alan’s reasoning paid off. Fiona wasn’t interested in Alan the accountant. But Alan my husband… That was a different story. Almost as soon as I realised why he’d married me, Fiona took what she wanted. When she was pregnant with Cady she threw it in my face. Once more Fiona triumphed. Once more…’

Nate took a deep breath, hearing the depth of pain in Gemma’s voice. ‘And…’

‘I left Alan, of course, and Alan moved in with Fiona. He had what he wanted. Or he thought he did. But Cady was born, and caring for a baby didn’t fit either of their lifestyles, and, of course, Fiona didn’t really want Alan. After she’d proved she could have him, the fun had gone out of it. Alan was left angry and bitter, reflecting that he’d lost not only Fiona but my lucrative salary. Which he really wanted. And then there was Cady, caught between parents who didn’t give a damn. Fiona knew I’d step in-all she had to do was neglect him and in I’d come. Which I did. But instead of only Fiona using me, now there was Alan.’

‘I don’t see…’

‘He’s Cady’s father. He has rights that as his aunt I don’t have.’

‘So…’

‘Alan might be a successful accountant but he has expensive tastes. Very expensive tastes. And he’s given me an ultimatum. I continue working as an anaesthetist, giving more than half of my income to him, or he’ll take Cady back. It’s not even a choice. It’s a life sentence.’

Nate was staring at her in revulsion. ‘Does he love Cady?’

‘You have to be joking! Love? I don’t think Alan knows what the word means.’

Nate stared down at her in horror, appalled by what he’d just been told. ‘You should have told me.’

‘Yeah, right. This is a sordid little mess that only I can get out of. I thought… Well, since Fiona died I haven’t heard from him. I hoped-desperately-that he’d decided to leave us alone. So when you offered me the job here I thought, Well, why not? A new life. A new beginning. But, of course, he’d know where I was. He works in Administration at Sydney Central. He’d have known that I’d left, and a quick search of medical records would have told him that I’ve been practising here. So here he is, right on cue, ready to hound me back to practising as an anaesthetist. Alan will never be content with what I earn as a country doctor.’

Nate took a deep breath, trying to take it all in. ‘So…’

‘So I go back to the city and get another high-earning job or he’ll take Cady away from me.’

‘He doesn’t want Cady. That much is obvious. He might take him but the novelty would soon wear off…’

‘Leaving me to pick up the pieces. Great. You must see as clearly as I do that I can’t take that risk.’

‘So where does that leave…us?’

Gemma stirred then and for the first time she turned in her bed to look at Nate. Really look at him. Behind her eyes was a desolation that chilled him to the bone.

‘Nate, there is no us.’

‘There must be.’

‘No. Tomorrow I pack my bags and head back to Sydney. I love Cady and I’ll do everything in my power to keep him safe.’

‘Gemma, you can’t keep on paying for ever.’

‘I don’t need to. In another five or six years-if Cady’s been living with me full time-then I might have grounds to be appointed his guardian. But now…if there was legal argument then Alan would win.’

‘You know that for sure?’

‘I’m not a fool. I’ve paid for legal advice. Alan is his biological father and I… I’m just his aunt. His aunt who loves him but his aunt nonetheless. Alan has the resources to care for a child and he has the money to fight for him. Cady’s birth certificate has him named as Cady’s father. Alan was living with Fiona when he was born. So you see? There’s no contest.’

‘Hell.’

‘It is hell,’ she whispered. ‘But, Nate…’

‘Yes?’

‘Thank you for the last two weeks. They’ve been wonderful.’

They had, he thought bleakly. They had.

Suddenly he realised just how wonderful.

She’d changed him, he thought. In a brief two weeks he’d been taught to care for something other than himself. Oh, sure, he loved Graham and he cared deeply about his patients but it wasn’t like this. This need to lift the burdens of the world from Gemma’s shoulders. To take her and love her and set her world to rights.

Knowing he couldn’t.

‘I’ll ring Mike,’ he said harshly. ‘My lawyer friend in Sydney. He’s the one who advised me about Margot.’

Margot. Right. Her ex-boss. The Margot of a world away.

‘There’s nothing you can do,’ Gemma told him. ‘Believe me, I’ve paid for the best legal advice. They played happy families and that closed every legal loophole for me. Fiona and Alan, with Cady in the middle. Cady who didn’t get a look in because they were too busy playing games. Fiona never wanted Cady. She didn’t even want Alan. She just wanted to hurt me.’

‘And Alan?’

‘Alan just wants money.’ She shook her head. ‘I was too stupid to see. I’ve always been so alone. When I met Alan… I had my head in my books trying to pass exams so that I could be an anaesthetist, and Alan was so courteous and charming. He made me laugh. He made me think he cared. But, of course, he just wanted a wife who was going to add to his bank balance.’

‘You can’t go back to him!’

‘Of course I can’t. Even if I did that’s not what Alan wants. He just wants my paycheque.’