“Well, I’m not going to give you the chance,” I said aloud. I needed to get out of this place where truth and lies swirled and bled together and stole all that I had left of me. I dropped to my knees and felt around until my hands landed on my backpack, which had been stuffed far behind the sofa, probably when Lexi and Meg were looking for something to steal. I pulled it out. It had been unzipped, but it didn’t look like anything was gone. I quickly grabbed the blanket that lay folded up at the end of the couch, stuffed it inside, zipped it, and pounded through the screen door into the night.

I wasn’t sure where to go. I hadn’t wandered around enough to have more than a vague idea of what was beyond the cookie-cutter houses and the strip malls. I could see pastures behind the house, and a thicket of trees on one side. I could maybe find an old barn to sleep in, or a clearing under a tree. But what if a storm came? I hated that I now got panicky over something so silly, but I couldn’t help it. Every day that the tornado sank deeper into my soul, I became more and more afraid of it.

In the end I decided to go with what was familiar, and headed into town.

CHAPTER

TWENTY

Morning took a long time to come. I hadn’t slept at all, and I was exhausted from constantly looking over my shoulder, waiting for Clay or Harold or a cop to jump out at me.

I’d spent the night wandering around the main strip of Caster City. At first I’d hung around the back door of a boutique, sitting on smashed shipping boxes, playing cards until the stench from the Dumpster behind the Chinese restaurant next door overpowered me. I’d moved to a tiny grove of evergreens behind a fast-food place and stretched out on my back, studying Mom’s face in the photo on my phone and softly singing Marin’s bubble song until the mosquitoes drove me away.

I spent some time texting Jane, who was up watching movies with her cousin.

How’s life in Hickville? she’d asked.

I’m running away, I’d responded.

To where?

I don’t know yet.

I’d waited around, half-hoping she would extend an invitation to run to her, but she never did. Instead, she replied, I’ll keep you company.

While Jane and I texted, the passing cars got sparser and sparser, and soon there were none, and the stoplights began blinking yellow and even the gas station closed for the night. I felt alone, stranded, and somehow that felt right. I moved around to the front of the strip mall and window-shopped, as if this were something I often did at three o’clock in the morning.

But it was a long time before the sun came up, and I’d found myself wedged into the back doorway of a furniture store, using my backpack for a pillow, my eyes heavy and grainy from lack of sleep, my butt numb from the concrete.

I turned my hands over in my lap and studied them in the daylight. Somehow, the blood had been rubbed away from the skin, but there was still a ruddy brown color under my fingernails. I wanted to wash them—wash Meg off me forever—and ended up tucking my fingers under my thighs so I wouldn’t have to look at them.

In time, I heard the sounds of the world waking up. Truck brakes hissing and car doors slamming and the occasional horn or voice. I packed up my things and started walking again, pulling my cell phone out of my pocket. I dialed Kolby’s number first. I could confide in him. I could tell him how terrible it was down here. I could tell him I was running away and he would help me.

“Hello?” a hushed voice asked.

I paused. This was the second time Kolby wasn’t answering his own phone. “Um, hi? Is Kolby there?”

“Who is this?”

“This is Jersey. I was… I was hoping he could give me a ride somewhere?”

There was a sigh on the other end of the phone. “Oh, Jersey. This is his mom. How are you? I heard you’re living down south with your dad now.”

“Um, I was, but I’m not anymore. That’s kind of why I need a ride up to Elizabeth. Can Kolby come get me?”

“Honey, Kolby’s in the hospital.”

“Still? For the cut on his arm?”

A pause. Then, “Well, yes and no. The cut got infected. He’s got to… he’s going to be here awhile. I’m afraid he won’t be up to driving for a bit.”

I stopped walking, trying to make sense of it all. I’d never had a cut get infected but figured it was just a matter of getting some antibiotics and going home. Why was this taking so long? “Oh. Okay,” I said. “Just tell him I called.”

“I will, honey. It will mean a lot to him to hear from you.”

“I’ll come see him when I get back to Elizabeth.”

“Honey, maybe you should stay down there. Stay with your dad. I hate to see you get in a bad situation.”

“My dad’s house was a bad situation,” I said sourly. “I’ve got to go. I’ll see Kolby later, okay?”

I hung up before she could say any more. I understood why she would think it was best for me not to run away. But she had no idea what I was running away from. I resumed walking, scrolling through my address book and selecting Dani’s name.

“Hey,” she answered, sounding groggy, like she’d been asleep. “How’s it going?”

“Terrible. I ran away. Can you ask your mom to come get me?” I already knew the answer, but it was worth a shot to try again. Maybe when her mom saw how desperate I was, she would change her mind. She was the only hope I had at this point.

“Whoa. Wait. Slow down. You ran away?”

I proceeded to dump everything on Dani—what Clay had said about my mom keeping him away from me and how he’d given up on me long ago. I told her about finding Meg and Lexi with Marin’s purse, and about the fight that had ensued, all the way up to me gouging Meg’s face last night.

“I need someone to come get me,” I said. “I need to get home. Please ask your mom.”

“I already did. She said no.”

“Tell her I’ll get Ronnie to take me back. She can drop me off at the motel. Just… anything. Come on, Dani, please? I need to get out of here.”

“But you’re, like, three hours away.”

“I’ll wait.”

“Yeah, but my mom isn’t going to want to drive six hours today, especially since she’s already said she didn’t want to get involved. She’s going to say you need to give it more time. She’s going to say this is between you and Ronnie. Maybe you should go to the police or something.”

“Oh, right, the police. Since I’m a runaway and all.” I leaned against the scratchy wall. Suddenly the Chinese restaurant smelled really delicious. My stomach growled, and I was thirsty. “Please? Just ask. Please, Dani?”

Dani sighed, then said, “Hang on.” I could hear her cover the mouthpiece of her phone, and then some hushed mumbling as she talked to her mom. Their conversation seemed to go on forever and I prayed she was going to come back with good news. “My mom wants to know where you’re going to be waiting,” she said at last. Her voice sounded funny, monotone and flat.

I tipped my head back into the sun and smiled. “Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you. There’s a bench outside the bookstore in the strip mall on Water Street. I’ll be waiting for you there. I love you, Dani, you know that?”

“I love you, too, Jers,” she said, and again her voice sounded dull. “See you soon.”

I had to keep myself from running to the bookstore. I didn’t want to get too tired or thirsty and I definitely didn’t want to wait outside in the open for too long, just in case Clay and Tonette were looking for me. It would be hours before Dani and her mom got here. Long enough for me to figure out what I was going to do once I got back to Elizabeth. I recognized that if Dani’s mom didn’t want me there, and Ronnie didn’t want me with him, I was going to be just as homeless up there as I was down here, but at least I’d be homeless in a familiar place. I had far more options in Elizabeth.

I was pretty thirsty by the time I got to the bookstore, so I made a beeline for the water fountain. When Dani’s mom arrived, I hoped she’d get me something cold to drink. Maybe stop by a gas station for a slushy. And something to eat. And maybe I’d ask her to let me use her washer and dryer, take a shower, maybe take a nap on a real bed.

But as I straightened up, swallowing the cold water, I heard a deep voice behind me.

“Jersey.”

I froze. It was a voice I recognized.

I turned around.

“Ronnie? What are you doing here?”

“Come on,” he said, turning and stalking off toward the door, not even bothering to wait to see if I was following him.

We walked to the parking lot, where his truck sat filthy and ragtag right up front. I wondered if I had walked past it going into the bookstore, my mind so far away I hadn’t even noticed that the truck that had been parked in my driveway for six years was sitting right there in the parking lot.

We climbed in, and I pushed my backpack and purse onto the floorboard between my feet.

“What are you doing here?” I repeated as he pointed his truck toward the highway. I watched the lane turn into two lanes, and then four, my spirit soaring higher with each growing lane, with every mile between me and that awful house.

“Harold called me last night,” he said. “Told me you beat up one of their girls and I needed to come get you. Then your friend Dani’s mom called, said you’d run away and would be at the bookstore, in case I wanted to call the police to pick you up and send you back to the Camerons’ house.”

I was stunned into silence. All that low mumbling and the funny tone in Dani’s voice… her mom had told me yes just so I would be sitting somewhere long enough to let the cops come get me.