Lindsay Delagair - Unforgivable

He would be on a plane tonight for Louisiana. He was going home and stepping back into the world he shunned for her, but now it was the only world he could turn to. He called Nadia and told her that evidently it was true. He told her about watching the tape, about the kiss, but he was going to track her down and as soon as he found her he would have her call home.

“Micah,” Nadia said before hanging up, “I don’t think we have all the pieces and I know how much this is hurting you, but…”

He took in a calm breath. He had put his emotions away and felt nothing now-at least not love, and certainly not pain; anger was still there and growing stronger, but everything else had faded.

“Don’t hurt her, Micah,” Nadia finished, evidently realizing by his unemotional voice that he was changing.

“I could never hurt her,” he said evenly, but deep down he was starting to wonder how much longer he could believe that lie.

“Do you have an idea where you want to go?” Ryan asked as we pulled out of the hotel parking lot.

I wasn’t in any condition to talk, but I knew I had to come to my senses and start planning or this could go horribly wrong. I wiped my eyes on my sleeve and took a ragged breath. “I haven’t thought that out yet; I just planned to grab a car and head out of state. I got the cash because I know Micah will find me if I use a credit card. He’s-he’s got plenty of ties to people who know how to track someone down, and I can’t leave a trail.”

“Were going to my house.”

“No, Ryan, that’s the first place he’ll look!”

“Calm down, Leese, I’m just going to pick up a few things and then head for the airstrip.” He could tell I still looked worried as he pushed down the accelerator. “Don’t worry, we’ll be there and gone before he gets there. I-I’ve got to say goodbye to my mom and then I’m flying you out of here.”

I remembered the pain of not being able to say goodbye to Kimmy when Micah had taken me to Louisiana. I wouldn’t argue the goodbye he wanted. “You mean hire a private plane?”

“No, I mean I’m flying you out of here. I fly all the time. I told you I’ve got my pilot’s license and I own my own Cessna, but I don’t think it’s smart to take my plane. I’ve got a good friend who won’t have a problem letting me use his.”

“I just never thought about you actually flying.”

“You knew I was planning on joining the Air Force.” He stole a glance at me as he dodged traffic. “My dad was a colonel and took me flying all the time when I was little. I could pilot a plane by the time I was ten, but I couldn’t get a student license until I turned 16 and then I started flying solo. I got my regular pilot’s license when I turned 17.”

I was glad for the conversation, anything to take my mind off the crushing pain working its way through my heart. Just as I dreamed, I was taking off, not knowing where I was going, but simply that I had to get away. I could only hope the rest of the dream had been a metaphor, because I already felt the knife in my heart and with every mental image of Micah’s face, it shoved deeper.

“You never mentioned your dad,” I said, trying to keep talking so my mind wouldn’t wander back into the painful thoughts, “he’s in the Air force?”

“Was,” Ryan said quietly.

He stopped talking for a moment and I wondered if I should press him for anything more.

“He was killed in Iraq when I was 15.”

I could tell he struggled to get those words out. It was obviously still very painful for him. I reached over and put my hand on the back of his as it rested on the shifter, “It sounds like you two were close.”

“Yeah, we were-he was a great dad,” his voice starting to crack. “He had so many people that really respected him, his career and everything he stood for. They told me I have an opening in the Air Force Academy whenever I’m ready, full military scholarship. Mom is against the whole idea, but that’s because she knows why I want to join.”

I remembered his words when we were at Pensacola High School about the Air Force being the only legal way to kill someone. Now I understood. Without thinking my hand trailed softly up the intricate colored tattoo covering his right forearm.

“Yeah, I got it after dad died. Mom still hates it and I really can’t say I blame her. I-I wish I hadn’t done it, but it’s too late to change it now.”

I thought about Micah’s tattoo. I broke down sobbing so hard, I couldn’t get a breath. I kept hearing Ryan saying it was going to be okay as his hand warmly rubbed my back.

“You didn’t have a choice, Leese. You made the right decision, hard as it was, it’s the only way.”

“But why?” I sobbed into my palms. “All we wanted was to be together. Why did it have to end this way?” I pulled away from my hands and stared at the beautiful diamond wedding set on my finger. I had pledged my life to Micah Gavarreen for better or worse; I just had no concept at the time how bad the worst could become.

We hit I-95 and he kept our speed around ninety miles an hour until we pulled off into West Palm and made it to his house. I hadn’t met Ryan’s mother, and I certainly wasn’t in any condition to see her at the moment, but I could tell he didn’t expect me to come inside.

He was gone about ten minutes when he emerged carrying another duffle, with his mother following close behind. She was a petite blonde with eyes the same shocking shade of blue as her son’s. She looked toward me and I could see the worry hit her. She knew who I was. Actually, there weren’t many people who didn’t look at me and remember my face from the news, but this was a different kind of look. She knew I married a few days ago and now her son was getting ready to fly away with the bride. He paused to embrace her, as she looked at me once again and nodded. It was as if she was letting me know, for whatever the reason, she was okay with him leaving with me.

We pulled into the Palm Beach International Airport, through the guarded areas as Ryan displayed his identification, and up to an area where numerous small aircraft waited.

“Which one is yours?” I asked, glad to finally have something to say since we had been silent from his house to here.

He pointed toward a sleek looking small plane with a silver bottom and a black stripe. “That’s mine. It’s a Cessna Corvalis 400, but what we’re flying out in is that one.” He pulled near a small jet that appear to be big enough for at least six. “It’s a Cessna Citation Mustang and belongs to a good friend of my family. That’s him there,” he said, as an older gentleman with a military crew-cut came around the plane. He was smiling as we approached.

“Does he know you want to use his plane?”

“Yeah, I called him when I was at the house. He’s a great guy and he flew with my dad back when my dad was learning how to be a pilot.”

Ryan grabbed both of his duffle bags from the trunk as he waved to the man. “Harvey, I really appreciate the loaner,” he shouted over the drone of a small plane taxiing away from the hanger.

“No problem, Ryan. I’ve told you before all you have to do is ask. I know I can trust you to take care of her.”

The man winked at me and I was wondering if he was discussing the airplane or me.

“Harvey Pinchon, this is Annalisa…” He evidently didn’t know what last name he should give me, but Harvey didn’t appear fazed that I had no last name at the moment.

“Annalisa, nice to meet you.”

I reached out to shake his hand and watched his eyes snap immediately to the wedding ring on my finger.

“So,” he said, quickly looking away from my hand, “I need a flight plan for you, Ryan. The FAA frowns on people without them. Where were you planning on stopping?”

“Well, I was kind of hoping you might let me take her to Heaven’s Landing. I can leave her there in your hanger and then we’ll just get a taxi over to Greenville and rent something else from there.”

“Bullshit!” Harvey snapped.

That shook me from the comatose feeling that had been creeping into my system.

Ryan’s eyebrows rose, but he apparently couldn’t come up with a response.

“I told you all you had to do is ask. If you’re flying out from there it’ll be in my plane. Rent something? Ryan, I can’t even believe you’d insult me that way.”

“But I didn’t want you to have to fly across country to get her back.”

Harvey was fishing in the pocket of his slacks and pulling out a wad of keys. “Here,” he offered, pulling two keys off the ring. “Here are the keys to my house and my truck in case you need to go anywhere when you get to the Landing. But, when you take off from there it better be in my plane or I’ll be pissed. It doesn’t matter how long you need it, either. Heck, if I want to go anywhere, I’ll use yours.”

Ryan handed him the keys to the Trans Am, “One more thing, Harvey. I have a feeling you’re going to have a really big, angry guy coming around here asking questions and wanting to know if my plane is here. I know I’ve got to file a flight plan, but he can’t know I flew out of here with Annalisa-it’s really important. Can I use your name on it? And, I need you to take my car back to your house as soon as possible.”

Harvey’s eyes cut back to the wedding ring on my finger and then back to Ryan, “Your mom’s okay with you doing this, right? I don’t want her mad at me.”

“She knows what I’m doing and she’s cool with it.”

“Load your gear in the plane,” he stated. “Annalisa, I think it’s best if you go ahead and get in the plane and sit down, honey. You look like you’ve had a rough morning.”

I nodded numbly as he took my arm and led me to the open cabin door. It was very plush inside and I gratefully sank into one of the deep comfortable chairs as Ryan loaded his duffle bags and went through a preflight check. He paused to talk with Harvey and, although I couldn’t hear what they were saying, I could see the serious expression on both of their faces. Harvey finally clapped the back of Ryan’s shoulder and then shook his hand.