“Is there such a post?”

“There could be if I made one. But I don't see why you should not be the first. I will ask Lord Melbourne.”

“The Prime Minister! He would not want to concern himself with me!”

“Oh, he would, Lehzen. He is the most understanding man. He is so kind…so anxious to help.”

“You form your judgments too hastily. You always did.”

“Well, they are sometimes wise judgments. I hated Sir John Conroy from the moment I saw him and I loved you. Was I right, Lehzen? And how dare you criticize the Queen!”

We hugged each other, and Dash woke up, got out of his basket and leaped into my arms.

“Dear Dashy! He doesn't want to be left out.”

I felt very happy and confident in the future. I would have dear Lehzen as my closest friend; I had darling Dash; and now …Lord Melbourne.

He called again, which delighted me. The first thing he said was how impressed they all had been by the manner in which I conducted the Council.

“Believe me, Ma'am, they were all overwhelmed with admiration.”

“I think Sir John Conroy has given the impression that I am a frivolous girl.”

Lord Melbourne did not deny this.

“I am dismissing him from my household,” I told him.

“That does not surprise me. He will, however, remain in the Duchess's. It is a matter that you and I will discuss at greater length some time…very soon… with Your Majesty's permission, of course.”

“Yes. That would please me,” I said.

“We will deal with Master Conroy…Your Majesty and I.”

I laughed. How good it was to have such a man beside me!

“I was telling Your Majesty how successful the Council was. I heard it said that Your Majesty's hand was remarkably smooth and sweet.”

“Did they really say that?”

Lord Melbourne placed his hand on his heart and raised his eyes to Heaven.

“I swear it, Ma'am.”

I laughed and he laughed with me. He had such a wonderful gift for making everything amusing.

After he had left I decided that I would not keep Sir John Conroy in my household a day longer. I had the Prime Minister's approval for my actions. So I sent a note telling him that I should no longer need him to serve me.

I wondered what his reaction would be. I imagined his going to my mother, and their moaning together over the cruel fate that had allowed me to come of age and ascend the throne and so destroy their grandiose schemes for ruling the country together.

I was so glad to be free of them that I felt a twinge of pity for them— but not much. And in any case I had too many other matters with which to concern myself.

I said I would take my dinner upstairs… and alone.

How I enjoyed that! I felt I could look back over the events of the day with satisfaction.

I had not seen Mama all day and I was a little uncomfortable when the time came to say goodnight to her.

She looked different—subdued even. I felt a little sorry to see her so unlike her old self, but I forced myself to remember all the trouble she had made, and reminded myself that the only way I could make her happy was by giving way to her, which would have meant to allow her to run the country's affairs.

No. I had to be firm. She was vain in the extreme; she was quite unfit, as the last King had said, to take any part in affairs. She did not understand the people and had done much to antagonize them during the years of waiting.

No, Mama, I thought, this has to be an end to your ambitions.

I kissed her and said a cool goodnight. She looked stricken but she knew there was no turning back. Mama would no longer dare advise me as to what I must do.

I turned and left her and went to my bedroom—my own bedroom with my bed in it—and no other.

For the first time I should sleep alone.

I lay in bed thinking over my first day as Queen of England.


* * *

THE VERY NEXT day Lord Melbourne called upon me.

“There is this matter of our friend Sir John Conroy to discuss with Your Majesty,” he said.

The very manner in which he said “our friend” implied that Sir John was far from that, and that Lord Melbourne disliked him as much as I did.

“Oh yes. It is a matter I should like to get settled as soon as possible.”

“The man is a mountebank.”

How clever of Lord Melbourne to have discovered that so quickly! Sir John had deceived so many—chiefly Mama; but also Aunt Sophia, and people like Flora Hastings had been ready to work for him.

“When I was leaving the Council yesterday,” went on Lord Melbourne, “I was approached by Baron Stockmar who said he wished to speak to me urgently about Sir John Conroy.”

“So soon?” I asked.

“There is a man who knows when the battle is lost. Your Majesty was indeed a formidable enemy…fighting the forces of evil, I must say, and never wavering.”

How well he understood!

“Baron Stockmar told me that Sir John has given his terms.”

“Terms?” I cried.

“Oh yes. A sort of treaty. But he does not seem to realize he is the defeated. He is making the most exorbitant demands. He wants three thousand pounds a year, the Grand Cross of the Bath, a peerage and a seat on the Privy Council. I can tell Your Majesty that when I saw what was written in the paper, I dropped it in my disbelief.”

“I am not surprised.”

“Indeed not, Ma'am.”

“It is outrageous. I shall say no.”

“Quite so, Ma'am. There is a point. Unless we come to some compromise, he may still remain in the Duchess's service. Your Majesty can dismiss him from yours, which you have so rightly done. But the Duchess's service is another matter.”

“But we shall not give way to his demands.”

“It is a delicate matter, Ma'am.”

“Delicate? But I want to be rid of him.”

“And so do we all. We have taken the measure of Master Conroy and wish him … out. Let us wait a while, Your Majesty. Let him simmer in his uncertainty.”

“I should like to know that he was out and that I should never have to see him again.”

“There is no need for you to see him. Indeed, I fancy he will be ashamed to look Your Majesty in the face. At least, he should be. But will he be? He is a slippery customer.”

“I should like to be rid of him once and for all.”

“Ah. ‘…'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished.' But let us be diplomatic, Ma'am. Let us leave it alone for a while. That can do no harm.”

“And meanwhile he will stay with my mother.”

“That is a matter for the Duchess to decide.”

“But if I wish…”

He looked at me, his head on one side, and there was a very tender expression in his beautiful eyes. He said, “Your Majesty's wish is law to her Prime Minister. Believe me, Ma'am, if I could wave a wand and grant your wishes, that is what I would do. But this…it is a difficult matter and when one is faced with a tricky situation, it is always better not to take hasty action.”

“I will take your advice, Lord Melbourne.”

He took my hand and kissed it.

And although I was a little sorry not to make a clean cut and get rid of Sir John without preamble, I was sure that Lord Melbourne knew best.


* * *

I WAS SEEING Lord Melbourne every day and my regard for him grew rapidly.

I no longer looked for Uncle Leopold's letters with quite the same eagerness. I did not need advice from him now that I had someone near at hand.

I wondered whether he sensed this. If I did not write to him so regularly and so fully, he must understand that I had my new duties and that my position had changed considerably.

He wrote to me:

My beloved Child, Your new dignities will not change or increase my old affection for you; may Heaven assist you, and may I have the happiness of being able to be of use to you, and to contribute to those successes in your new career for which I am so anxious…

I have been most happy to learn that the swearing in of the Council passed so well… The translation in the papers says, ‘J'ai été elevée en Angleterre.' I should advise you to say as often as possible that you are born in England. George III gloried in this, and as none of your cousins are born in England it is your interest de faire reporter cela fortement. You never can say too much in praise of your country and its inhabitants. Two nations in Europe are really most ridiculous in their exaggerated praises of themselves; these are the English and the French. Your being national is highly important, and as you happen to be born in England, and never to have left it a moment, it would be odd enough if people tried to make out to the contrary…

I felt faintly irritated by Uncle Leopold's criticism of the English. But, after all, I told myself, he is not an Englishman, and foreigners are inclined to regard us with certain dislike … as perhaps we regard them. Lord Melbourne seemed to me to be the perfect English gentleman, and it is hard to find a more agreeable type of man.

How lucky I had been in Lord Melbourne!

I had heard that he was a man who had what is referred to as “a past.” He had been involved in two divorce cases, and had had a tempestuous marriage. His only son had died. And yet he was full of good humor and always appeared to me to find life comical and amusing.

I longed to hear all about him but of course I could not ask him personally.

There were means of finding out.

I had appointed Harriet Leveson-Gower, Duchess of Sutherland, Mistress of the Robes. She was a very beautiful woman and I had always been drawn to beautiful people. She loved clothes and gossip, although she was involved in all kinds of good works. In fact she was a very interesting companion; and best of all she loved to talk and seemed to know a great deal about everyone at Court.