“It seems as though they will never forget.”

“The mob is fickle. They hate today and love tomorrow.”

“I should never have allowed myself to listen to scandal about her.”

“A queen must look to the morals of her Court.”

“Yes, but she was not immoral. There was never a child. She was truly a virgin. She was ill and we maligned her. I shall never forget her lying on that couch. She looked dead already. She knew she was going to die. She said, ‘I shall never see you again.' I do not think I shall know peace of mind again.”

“Your Majesty is very young. In a short while this will be forgotten, I promise you. It will pass. But meanwhile there is her funeral. A tricky matter. It is a pity she died in the Palace.”

“She is to be buried in Scotland. They are taking her body to the family home.”

“It is a pity she did not die there. That would have saved a lot of trouble.”

“I shall have to go to the funeral.”

Lord Melbourne was silent for a few moments. Then he said, “I do not think that would be wise.”

“But what will the people say if I am not there?”

“I am concerned with what they will say … and even do if you are there.”

“You think they would harm me?”

“It is not so very uncommon for the common people to show their annoyance with sovereigns.”

I covered my face with my hands.

“Look upon it as experience,” soothed Lord Melbourne.

“Do you think that if I had not listened to gossip … if I had been on her side …”

“Well then, there would have been no complaint. You would have been on the side of the angels.”

“How I wish I had been!”

“I think,” he said, “that you should send your carriage. But on no account should you go yourself. I would not allow that.”

I was about to protest but there was a note of firmness in his voice— yes, and even fear. This matter was of even greater importance than I had thought and the people who will cry “Hosanna” one week will be calling “Crucify Him” the next.

Lord Melbourne said, “They are taking her body to Loudon by barge and unfortunately the cortège will have to leave the Palace. Peel's policemen will be guarding it all along the route. The plans are for them to set out at six am, and I think I shall give orders that they start two hours early. Even so, there will doubtless be a crowd waiting, for I am sure some of them will have been there all night to get a good view.”

I thought how careful he was, and how fortunate I was to have him with me. And then the horrible doubt came back to me. For how long?

It was a wretched day when Flora's coffin was taken back to her family home.

Crowds had turned out to see it pass through the streets to the waiting barge. I could imagine the scene, the people weeping for her and murmuring angry threats against me; the ballad singers waving their scandal sheets. I could not bear it and my thoughts went back to my coronation—not so very long ago—when they had shown me such love and devotion.

I was horrified and deeply wounded to learn that someone had thrown a stone at my carriage.

Lord Melbourne tried to comfort me. “It was only one stone. The people were only half-heartedly against you. They just wanted to blame someone and they like having scapegoats in high places. She is gone. That will be an end of the matter. This time next year people will be saying, ‘Who was Flora Hastings?' ”

I should have liked to believe him.

The Wedding

I WAS VERY MELANCHOLY AFTER THAT. LORD MELBOURNE DID his best to cheer me up.

He asked me one day what I thought about marriage.

“Marriage? Oh, I have not thought of marriage for a very long time.”

“When did you last think of it?”

“Years ago. You know Uncle Leopold always wanted me to marry my Cousin Albert.”

“I did know,” said Lord Melbourne. “He made it abundantly clear. But it is you who will have to make the match. What do you think?”

“I have no wish to marry…yet.”

“Have you not? You are now twenty years of age. It is a marriageable age…particularly for a queen.”

“I feel it should be set aside for a while.” I burst out laughing. “I have been your pupil for so long that I think as you do. Do you not always say ‘leave it alone.' ”

“Advice, I believe, which has more than once proved effective.”

“Indeed it has. Well, now I will keep to it. What do you think of Prince Albert?”

“He is a German.”

“Did you find him a little… solemn?”

“Many Germans are.”

“He was always tired in the evenings and never wanted to dance.”

“And Your Majesty is indefatigable and loves to dance.”

“I do not think that Uncle Leopold should choose my husband for me.”

“With that,” said Lord Melbourne, “I am in complete agreement. But the matter should be given some thought. We have to consider the Cumberland threat.”

“But I am young yet and although the people like me less after the Flora Hastings affair, they still do not want Cumberland.”

“Royalty has to look far ahead. It might be well for you to think a little seriously about marriage.”

“Uncle Leopold believes there is an understanding between me and my Cousin Albert. When he visited me in Kensington Palace before I was Queen he made a very good impression.”

Lord Melbourne nodded.

“That was some time ago.”

“People change,” I said.

“Some become queens, and that is a great transition.”

I laughed, then I was thoughtful. “If people could forget they don't like me so much,” I said, “and if we could hold off the Tories…if we could go on like this…I would ask nothing better.”

“If is a very important word and life rarely remains static.”

“You are thinking I should marry.”

“I think you should give the matter some consideration.”

I did; and that brought Uncle Leopold into my thoughts. In spite of the fact that a barrier had grown up between us, I was still very fond of him. I was faithful by nature and I would never forget all that he had meant to me in my childhood. He had been a substitute for the father who had died before I knew him. Once I had thought him the most wonderful being in the world. I did not forget such friendships. It was only because he had wished to interfere in English politics that I had had to withdraw from him a little. My affection remained the same.

I knew so well that he had set his heart on my marrying Albert. He loved Albert as he loved me. We had been his children at the time when he had had none of his own. His greatest dream was to bring us together. A marriage to me would be very advantageous for Albert. After all, he was but the younger son of a German duke. Marriage to the Queen of England would be a very good match for him. And for me? I believe Uncle Leopold considered Albert to be wise and good and that he would be a help to me. He had the welfare of us both at heart.

But I was unsure of myself. I had grown up a good deal since the days when I had first met Albert and been overwhelmed by him. Uncle Leopold had talked so much of his virtues that when he had arrived he had seemed wrapped in an aura of beauty and goodness. I had been very young and impressionable… perhaps I still was… but under the worldly guidance of Lord Melbourne I had grown up a little.

Stockmar had left us some time before this because Uncle Leopold had wanted him to devote all his time to Albert. Uncle Leopold had doubtless seen that Stockmar could do little to guide me when I had taken so wholeheartedly to Lord Melbourne and listened only to him.

I thought I should write frankly to Uncle Leopold, so I did, explaining that for the time being I was quite content with things as they were, and the country did not seem overanxious for me to marry. I thought it would be wiser for Ernest and Albert not to pay a visit to England… just yet. What were Albert's thoughts about the matter? He did realize, did he not, that there was no binding engagement. It would be well for him to understand this. I heard such glowing reports of Albert, and I was sure I should like him, but that might be as a friend, a cousin, or a brother. I could not know until I met him again, and I did not want anything to be expected from such a meeting. It made the situation rather delicate, particularly if Albert did not have a clear understanding of it. I thought there was no urgent need to come to a decision for two or three years…at the earliest.

I felt relieved when I had sent off that letter. It would give Uncle Leopold a clear picture of how I felt.


* * *

I WAS THROWN into a whirl of excitement by the visit of yet another uncle. This was Uncle Ferdinand, Mama's brother, with his two sons, Augustus and Leopold, and his daughter, Victoire. With them came another cousin, Alexander Mensdorff-Pouilly, son of Mama's sister, Princess Sophia, and a French nobleman who had escaped from the French Revolution. I found Alexander quite fascinating; his manners were so perfect and he was more restrained than the other cousins who were noisy and liked playing rough games, which I had to admit I enjoyed. But there was something romantic about Alexander. He was a little in awe of me and although I assured him that he must not be, I did like that in him. I told Lord Melbourne that it showed a modesty that was most becoming.

“He is not entirely German,” said Lord M. “Therefore he lacks Teutonic arrogance.”

“Lord M,” I said, “I do not think you like the Germans.”

“Oh,” he replied airily, “it is a mistake to generalize. There might be some very pleasant Germans… but perhaps not so many pleasant people as one would find in other nations.”