I picked up the prints, gave them a cursory glance to make sure they looked okay, and then I reversed directions, heading back to Reynolds Island. I’d make it to Aubrey’s early at this point, but I was fine with that. The sooner this was over, the better, as far as I was concerned.

It was just past ten when I dropped the envelope of prints off on her doorstep, not bothering to ring the bell or even turn the car off. I hightailed it out of her driveway and down the block. Stopping at the stop sign at the end of the road, I shot off a quick text.

Me: Aubrey, prints are at the front door. I didn’t want to wake you if you were sleeping in. I left my address. Feel free to mail the check.

Then I revved the engine, heading for the public beach access halfway down the island.

Parking the car in the mostly empty lot, I pulled out my phone again. I held it at arm’s length, like it was a coiled snake about to strike, and waited for a response. Just when I was about to give up, it beeped.

Aubrey: *Squeal!* I LOVE THEM! He’ll love them! Worth every penny!

My stomach lurched, the coffee and doughnuts threatening to reemerge at the thought of West with the pictures. Would he get off to them? Isn’t that what photos like those were for? I dashed to the public restroom at the end of the lot and puked.

After washing my hands and splashing my face with cool water, I gripped the edges of the sink and stared at the mirror. He was just a guy. It was just one night. Nothing to get this worked up over. And if he was a cheating scumbag, better I learn it now. Better it be her problem than mine.

Feeling resolved, I went back to my Wrangler and gathered my phone, ear buds, a visor, and my water bottle. I scooped my hair up into a tight bun and pulled the visor on. Not the most attractive accessory, but with my long hair, it worked better than a baseball hat.

Scrolling through my playlists, I searched for something with more edge than my normal stuff. I stopped on S. Seether, Stone Sour, Avenged Sevenfold, Eminem. Okay, so Eminem was a stretch, but he was the real Slim Shady, so I put him on the S list with the others. I queued up his “Monsters” and took off down the beach, setting a punishing pace.

I wanted this run to hurt. I wanted my muscles to burn and ache so badly by the end that I wouldn’t feel the twinge in my chest when I thought of West or when I looked at my bed.

I wanted to pound his memory into the sand with my shoes and leave it behind in my footprints, to be washed away at the next high tide, erased forever.

The thing about running, though, is even though your body’s busy, your mind is free. And if I was honest with myself, I didn’t regret my night with West. I might feel bad about the aftermath, but that was more of a problem for West and Aubrey to deal with, not me. If the lying piece of shit even came clean to her. I wouldn’t be telling.

My night with West was a wake-up call. Sex with Asshole had been pretty good, if I was telling the truth. Annoying to admit now, but true nonetheless. West was on a whole other level. Tepid words like pretty and good would never apply to him. He made me feel wanton, greedy, primal. I wouldn’t settle again. If West could do all that to me in one night, who knew how many other guys were out there, just waiting to rock my world?

Rue had the right idea. Quantity was probably the best approach. Try enough flavors until you found the one you couldn’t live without. Guys did it by default, it seemed. No reason it wouldn’t work for me too.

When I spotted a Weimaraner up ahead that made me think of General Beauregard, I took stock of my surroundings and slowed my pace. I didn’t want to risk seeing West, so I turned around early, before I passed his house, and headed back the way I came, increasing my intensity to make up for the shortened distance. The sun was in my eyes going this direction, and I’d forgotten my sunglasses again. I pulled the visor lower and dipped my chin, watching the ground. I headed higher up the beach, to the looser, dry sand, forcing my legs to work harder. My calves burned, but I relished it.

I had a plan now, one that didn’t include West. Intent on shutting my brain down, I dug into the sand harder and focused on the driving beat of the music in my ears. I pressed the button on the side of my phone, raising the volume until I couldn’t hear anything else, especially my own thoughts.

* * *

When I reached my Jeep, I was gasping for breath and drenched in sweat. I chugged what was left in my water bottle and bent over at the waist with my hands on my knees, trying to slow my racing heart. I took my time stretching and felt the protest in every single muscle in my legs.