Jennifer Greene - Yours, Mine & Ours

“Were you listening to that conversation?”

“Me? I don’t know what you mean. I just walked out on the deck a second ago, saw the beer, couldn’t imagine anyone who would have left it but you. Appreciate it. Want one?”

“No, of course not. I… Yes.”

He was going to have to rename her the whirling dervish. She put the Sissy Dog inside, grabbed her icer and wine bottle, her wineglass, and zipped down the steps and into his yard faster than he could retract the offer.

Slugger took one look and rolled on his back, assuming she’d want to pet him. She did. Then poured another glass of wine for herself. “I started with wine, so I don’t want to mix it with beer, but I’m more than up for sharing a drink.” She took the chair across from him-another Adirondack chair, nothing fancy. Her Duke T-shirt was so oversized that when she bent down again to rub Slugger’s tummy, he could see the tips of a lace bra. The view suggested that there was a lot more bra than boob in there. The red toenails shined like Chinese lacquer. Her hair was swooped up, all messy, all wild, held off her neck with some clips.

It was hard to define why he liked the whole package. But he did.

A lot.

“What do you think?” She motioned to the space between their houses. “Do we need a fence? Because of the dogs and kids and all? I like the open space between the properties…but I don’t know. A fence still seems like a good idea. At least if you think so. The point is that we should agree on the nature of fence, don’t you think? And just for the record, I know perfectly well that it was you who sneaked the tools in my cart this morning.”

He was having trouble following her fast changes in subject. Particularly when his attention was so zealously focused on her bare legs and inadequate neckline. “There was no point in your throwing away money on tools that weren’t going to hold up. As far as I could tell, you weren’t worried about price. You were just choosing stuff that had pink handles.”

“Well, yes.”

He wiped a hand over his face. No point in discussing that any further. “If you want a fence between the yards, naturally, I’ll spring for my half.”

“I’m not trying to be difficult. It was just an idea. If we both wanted a fence…I just didn’t want to act unilaterally. For one thing, there are all kinds and types of fences-”

“I get it. You’re not being difficult.” She was. He wasn’t sure why. He wasn’t sure why they were talking about fences, either, except for the obvious reason. They wanted protection from each other.

“I’ve just had a really long day.”

He thought she was trying to explain why she was being difficult again, but then he heard the old song “I Will Survive,” and realized it was her designated cell-phone ring. She lifted a hand and, apologizing to him, said, “This’ll be short, but I really need to take it.”

“No sweat.” He took another pull on his beer, put his bare feet on the deck rail and let his head fall back. In two seconds, he realized the caller was her ex-husband.

“I wasn’t ducking your calls, Thom. We were busy with the move this week.” And then, “I think it’s a little ridiculous that you’re pushing for equal custody when you couldn’t even make the last two visitations. This isn’t about Molly, and you know it. You just want the child support cut. It’s not as if you can’t afford it, for heaven’s sake-”

She bounced up from the chair, turned her back-as if turning around would make it harder for Mike to hear her. Not.

“I’m not listening to yelling, Thom. Not now. Not ever. I expect you to pick her up on Saturday at noon. Have her back here by seven. I have nothing else to say.”

Once she snapped the phone closed, she whirled around, her smile brighter than glass. “I’d turn off the cell phone but I can’t. There could always be a call related to Molly.”

“Same problem here. I can duck calls with the answering machine, but I don’t want Teddy to have any problem getting hold of me.” He felt a sudden restlessness. The kind of thing he felt when he was about to do something he shouldn’t. She sashayed back to the chair, crossed her legs, all her movements classy and elegant-not a put-on, just apparently how she always was. The call from her ex should have been another turnoff. She was complicated, and so was her life and problems. Every encounter he’d had with her so far indicated she was high-maintenance, trouble, no one and nothing that he could possibly want in his life.

But damn it. She was so upset her hands were shaking.

She noticed him looking at her hands, and immediately said, “It’s no secret to anyone. I hate confrontations. I’m terrible at them. My job used to be in advertising. Everybody called me tough. I was tough, I swear. But that was my business life. In my private life, well, you could say I flunked the course in fighting altogether.”

“Amanda-?”

“What? Oh. I know. I’m talking too much. I pretty much don’t drink at all for just that reason. One glass of wine and out it all spills. My life. And this was such a trying day-”

“And you’re nervous around me.”

“-and I’m nervous around you.” She blinked. “I’m not. I don’t know where that came from.”

He hunched forward, motioned her closer.

She hunched forward with a curious frown.

He said, “Here’s the thing. I’ve got one priority for this summer. Teddy. To get him set up. To make this a home. Check out the preschools and pediatricians. Find some kids in the neighborhood, locate the parks, the library, the stuff he can get involved in. That’s my whole job this summer. And there just can’t be any women in that picture.”

“Okay.”

“He’s still ripped about the divorce. Sometimes I think it’s because he never saw his mother and I argue. We never did, not in front of him. I thought that was how you were supposed to behave, but now-crazy as it sounds-I think it’s part of the problem. He’s got it in his head that Nancy left because of not wanting him, that he was somehow at fault. What Nancy pulled was a downright turkey move. But I can’t change that or fix it. All I can do is try to settle my kid into the happiest, most stable life I can. To put it in blunt terms-”

“Do,” she encouraged him.

“I’ve given up sex forever. Now it has occurred to me, in the past couple of days, that ‘forever’ might not be a precisely achievable goal. But through this summer, I really need to do the celibate thing. No entanglements. No distractions. My world has to be my kid.”

“Whew!” She let out a long breath, tossed him a smile-not that glassy, classy smile but one so real it jammed the air in his lungs. It was that sexy. That natural. “You have no idea how glad I am to hear you say that. Mike-I’m in exactly the same boat.”

“Yeah?”

“We’re on the same page. I just made the no-sex vow the same way.” She laughed, inviting him to. “The best thing about the divorce was figuring out how many wrong roads I’d been taking. I had every advantage a girl could have, was pampered and spoiled from the get-go, fell for the whole fairy tale that I was something special. I could have had a sign on my forehead that said Me-Me-Me.”

“That sounds pretty harsh.”

“It’s the total truth. I thought my ex was the Prince Charming in the story. Never once looked further than the surface-until it all crashed. So…I’ll likely look for a job in the fall. I don’t know what kind. I’ll work that out after Molly starts preschool. But I’m determined that this summer be about her. I want her to be about everything that I’m not. More self-reliant. More capable. I want her to take more pleasure in accomplishments than in material things. Which means…”

“Somehow I sense the punch line is coming.”

“Yes. No men for me. Indefinitely probably-but definitely not this summer. I need to figure out the stuff I was doing wrong. Change. Change into being more of the person I want to be. Oh, God, it’s so boring hearing someone talk about this kind of thing, isn’t it? I’m sorry. I just wanted to be clear-”

“Amanda.”

“Yes.” He’d leaned forward, with such a serious expression, that she leaned forward, too.

“It’s pretty obvious we’ve been worried about the same thing, don’t you think? Both of us have these…life plans. About not getting involved with anyone right now. About needing to concentrate on nothing but parenting for a stretch. So we both agree…it’d be a real pain in the keester if you and I…” He motioned with his hands.

She nodded vigorously. “It would just be completely awkward.”

He filled in more. “It’d be complicating. Unsettling. Exactly what neither of us want right now.”

“I couldn’t possibly agree more!”

He nodded. “So let’s get this over with, okay? We’d better find out how dangerous the problem is before figuring out how to handle it.”

Granted, Amanda had had almost two glasses of wine-and before dinner, besides. So she realized she was a little addled, but she was still astonished when Mike-out of the complete blue-pulled her onto his lap.

The last she knew, they’d been talking, not flirting.

The last she knew-positively-they’d been talking about celibacy. His intention to be celibate. Her intention to be celibate. Their completely agreeing with each other.

So the fire started from nothing, came from nowhere. The smolder and snap of sparks suddenly caught, and just as suddenly spread. The heat startled her nerves, her skin, turned her senses incredibly tender. Smoke clogged her brain and fogged her vision. Sirens echoed in her ears-not sirens communicating danger, but a siren song calling mesmerizing, wicked things to her.

It was just a kiss, for Pete’s sake.

She’d been kissing boys since she was fourteen. She’d been married. There wasn’t a reason in the universe that this one should be so different.